Wild Horses
by Jadiebeth
Summary: AU Rachel and Quinn meet by accident when they're 25 and their worlds completely collide however they are two very different people. Rubbish summary!  unbeta'd.
1. Chapter 1

Quinn effortlessly played the sheet music that the attractive brunette had given her half an hour ago. She knew this song off by heart and allowed her eyes to drift over the keys to watch the mysterious girl sing. Her voice was stunning, even Quinn could admit that. There was something about the way the girl sang; it was almost hypnotising. There was so much passion and desire to her, that Quinn had to remind herself to keep playing.

Quinn was use to moments like this. She was known for having a wandering eye. She hadn't had a girlfriend since she was 18 and she was almost approaching her 26th birthday. It's not that she didn't like relationships, they just didn't suit everyone. But there was something about this girl, something about how she meant every word she was singing. She was wearing a simple black dress that hung off some places and hugged other areas. Quinn licked her lips and wondered what the skin underneath that dress tasted like.

The blonde smiled and lightly shook her head. She was her own worst enemy. Quinn hadn't chosen such formal attire. Instead she had opted for her skinny jeans with a Kiss t-shirt and a waist coat thrown over the top. However she had noticed the way the brunette had looked her up and down when they had first met. Quinn knew she was attractive, not in an arrogant way; she was just a typical attractive person. The singer turned at that moment and smiled warmly at Quinn and she returned it with a lopsided grin. In that instance Quinn knew everything she needed to. This brunette was hooked.

As she started up the next song she tried to recall what the girls name was. They had definitely exchanged names but Quinn hadn't really been paying attention, she had been too busy taking the room in. This had been a last minute gig for her, she'd needed rent and Kurt had informed her about a singer that needed a piano player. So here she was. The only thing she remembered about their encounter was the shorter girl saying "just keep up with me." Quinn had known right then that she was intrigued by this woman. It was her confident attitude, or the way her hips gently swayed. Quinn couldn't put her finger on it but there was definitely something. The song came to an end and the final notes drifted into the sea of bodies.

"We're going to take a quick break now but we'll be back." Quinn noticed how short the singer was and chuckled to herself as she recalled that good things came in small packages. She got up to approach the girl but found she was already walking towards the bar.

Quinn tried not to look eager as she jogged after her and slipped in beside her leaning on the bar in a casual pose. "You want a drink?"

"Erm. Yeah, a diet coke." She replied with a frown eyeing Quinn with an almost smile.

"You don't want something stronger?" Quinn asked as the shorter girls' eye's flicked over the range of beverages behind the bar.

"No thank you." She replied clearing her throat.

"Really because you're eyeing that bottle of chardonnay." Quinn smirked as the girl looked away quickly a faint glow to her cheeks. "Have one." She pushed.

"I shouldn't drink when I'm performing it's unprofessional." She said flatly trying to get the bartenders attention.

Quinn smiled cockily and leaned further onto the bar smiling at the attractive redhead who was serving down the other end. The woman came sauntering over and rested her forearms on the bar opposite Quinn curling up one side of her mouth. "What can I get you gorgeous?"

"Can I have a vodka lemonade and this might be a strange request but can I have a large Chardonnay but in one of your coffee mugs behind you?"

"Coming right up...unless there is anything else I can do for you?" She winked at her and Quinn saw the brunette beside her roll her eyes.

"That's everything for now but if I think of anything I'll be back." The redhead licked her bottom lip before sorting out their drinks.

"Guess I should say thank you." The shorter girl mumbled watching the woman who was making their drinks.

"Yes you should." The singer let out a long breath and turned round to lean her back against the bar. The woman came back with their drinks and Quinn pulled out a note from her back pocket. "Keep the change."

"Thank you." The shorter girl said sincerely this time with a slight smile even though she tried to hide it. "Why the mug?"

"That way no one is going to know what you're drinking." The singer eyed her suspiciously and Quinn smiled back.

"Clever and thoughtful." She said with an impressed glint in her eye.

"I try. You were really good up there tonight..." She trailed off before biting her lip with a guilty look.

"Rachel." The girl shook her head pursing her lips together. "Clearly you were listening intently to me when I introduced myself."

"I was distracted." Quinn said holding Rachel's eye as she took a swig from her glass.

"Distracted? By the hot redhead behind the bar?" She asked raising her eyebrows.

"No. By you." Rachel watched her seriously for a moment her eyes flashing over her face. Suddenly her face deserted the serious look and laughter rippled through her whole body. Quinn watched her with a puzzled expression but a smile on her face. The blonde watched as Rachel's body shook with laughter, the way her eyes had lit up as though there was a fire suddenly behind them. The girl was intriguing and endearing; Quinn couldn't have stopped smirking at her even she wanted to.

"Does...oh my...does that usual work?" She asked finally getting her breath back.

"Perhaps..."

"Really?"

"No." Quinn chuckled along with the brunette.

"So was that you hitting on me?" Her eyes sparkled and Quinn's heart forgot how to beat for a second.

"And if it was?" Quinn flashed her teeth in a wide grin and took a step closer to the brunette.

"Well you'd just have to find out. I'm just going to freshen up before we go back on." Rachel began to mosey away her hips swaying to the side as she walked and Quinn was hypnotised. The blonde watched for a beat before she downed the rest of her drink and followed after her. When she reached the bathroom, Rachel was leaning against the sink staring at the door and when Quinn entered a lopsided smile appeared. The blonde took a deep breath and walked directly in front of the brunette.

"What took you so long?" She whispered as she reached out and grabbed firmly hold of Quinn's waist coat pulling her roughly until their lips came crashing together. It was open mouth and sloppy, a combination of need and desire. Rachel's tongue slipped along her bottom lip before accepting entrance, Quinn sucked on it lightly tasting the wine she was drinking. Quinn had wanted to do this the moment she had laid eyes on the petit brunette. She felt teeth pull on her bottom lip and she moaned arching into the touch as all thoughts disappeared. Quinn's hands roamed the girls back going lower and grabbing onto her ass pulling her closer slipping her thigh into the girls hot centre as she grinded her hips down to create more friction. Rachel groaned into the blonde's lips before pulling back abruptly. Quinn leaned back in but Rachel avoided the contact.

"Hey!" Quinn said knotting her eyebrows.

"We've got to get back on stage." Rachel smiled brightly before manoeuvring her way around Quinn. "But if you want to continue this after." She winked before pulling the door open to exit the bathroom. "Oh and Quinn, you're really good too...at the piano."

Quinn needed a few moments to adjust her thoughts and she silently wished she had not worn such tight pants. She was impressed with the girl, her aggressive take on their situation. There was more to that brunette than she thought. And it only excited her; oh she was definitely continuing this after the show. Letting out a deep breath she followed after Rachel, touching her warm lips for a moment and smiled fondly.

Quinn smiled as she exited the taxi paying him and walking up the steps to her house. She could still smell Rachel all over herself still feel the tanned girl's skin against her own. It had been amazing; the brunette has made her orgasm like no one else ever had. Boy, that girl had a marvellous mouth her body quivered in the memory.

As she reached the door Quinn glanced down at her watch; it was almost 5...Wow time did fly when you were having fun, Quinn thought with a smile. Pulling out her keys she quietly unlocked the door hoping not to wake her house mates.

"Hey you dirty little whore!"

"Where have you been?"

"You smell like sex!"

The three separate voices assaulted her as she walked through the door that opened right into the front room. She spun round to face the sofa taking in the sight before her; Brittney was sprawled out on the single seater couch while Finn was sitting up straight with Kurt curled up next to him.

"Why are you still up? The bar kicked out hours ago." Quinn frowned as she threw her bag down and walked over to flop down next to the happy male couple.

"You missed an epic night. We were buzzing so we decided to stay up and watch Step Up." Britt explained pointing to the screen.

"Actually they led me astray. I thought we were gonna be watching Iron Man." Finn huffed and Kurt rubbed his stomach affectionately and eventually a lazy grin appeared on the man's face.

"Was it alright? Was the singer good?" Kurt asked turning to look at her and she tried to stop a smile from spreading on her face at the male's interaction.

"Yeah. She was very...professional." The answer seemed to satisfy him and he grinned widely.

"Where have you been eh? You dirty little stop out." Finn piped up.

"Pretty sure a dirty little stop out comes home the next day." She informed with a smug smirk.

"Its 5 in the morning so technically it is tomorrow." Her confident expression disappeared and reappeared on Kurt's face instead.

"Weren't you playing piano at some 70th birthday party? How did you find someone there? Oh wait...you didn't…not with an OAP!" The blonde asked with a look of disgust, her bottom lip jittered out and her eyebrows hung low.

"God no. I do have some standards." She barked back and instantly heard Finn cough to cover up his laugh and met a questioning look from Kurt. "Do you really have such a low opinion of me?" All three began to open their mouths and held up her hand. "Don't answer that."

"So you find a hot granddaughter?" Finn asked raising his eye brows suggestively which earned him a slap on his chest from Kurt. "Hey, I was just asking."

"No granddaughter." Quinn said with a shrug.

"Come on Quinnie, give me something. My sex life is lived through you." Brittney said with her trademark sad face.

"There's nothing to tell." Quinn said trying to focus on the two attractive actors dancing on the screen, reaching out she picked up some popcorn and threw it into her mouth.

"What's going on?" Finn pondered out loud and Quinn turned to face him with an arched eyebrow. "Usually you come here and tell us about the girl. Kurt tells you that you're a slut, I tell you that you're the man and Britt usually excuses herself for fifteen minutes." The last part of the comment earned him a face full of popcorn from the dancer.

"Nothing's going on."

"Then spill it." Kurt threatened.

"Fine it was a hot brunette." Quinn gave in with a sigh, banging her head back on the couch.

"I knew it! There was no way you were out this late and not tapping it! Plus like I said you smell of sex!" Brittney exclaimed clapping her hands. "Was it good? I bet it was." Quinn's lips turned into a thin like as her eyes regarded each of the people staring at her.

"It was amazing." She finally said as she recalled the night spent with Rachel, recalling the memory of their sweaty bodies intertwined. "You get one question each."

"What did she look like?" Finn asked.

"You wasted your question on that?" Kurt asked bemused.

"She was petite, brunette, brown eyes but they almost seemed black sometimes. Exceptionally long legs, toned stomach. She was beautiful." Quinn recalled getting lost in her own thoughts.

"What did you get up to?" Kurt took his turn to question her and smirked with a knowing look.

"There were multiple positions; there were toys and my god that girls tongue. Jesus! And that's all you're getting you got the first question Britt when you asked if it was good. So all finished. Also she was under thirty!"

"That's enough info for me. I have an active imagination." The tall blonde explained with a wicked grin.

"You need to start getting out there." The piano player offered. She had suggested setting the blonde up on numerous occasions but every time she had been rebuffed. "Santana is never gonna come out."

"I know. When I'm ready I'll get out there and catch up with your record." She challenged.

"I'm not sure that's possible. Quinn has slept with nearly all the women in New York and she's probably gonna have to start the circuit all over again soon." Kurt stated in a serious tone and Quinn reached out her leg and kicked him. "I'm just stating the facts here Warren Beatty!"

"Funny!" The blonde quipped sarcastically.

"So what's the mark for this one?" Finn inquired. They always asked her to rate the girls one to ten, it had been fun in her early 20's but now she had grown tired of it.

With a sigh she replied, "Ten." It was the honest answer although she thought ten didn't do her justice.

"Wow when was the last ten given out?" Brittney thought out loud.

"Oh I know this one! It was that girl a few years back, the one with piercings in all sorts of places." Kurt shouted excited that he knew the answer.

"No no. Remember she got the ten until Quinn found out the girl gave her crabs!" Brittney interjected with a satisfied smile.

"I love this conversation." The blonde beside Kurt stated dryly.

"Oh I finally found a band by the way." Kurt almost shouted with excitement and startled the others. But Quinn was happy for the change of subject and slowly let her thoughts travel back to Rachel's toned body.

"Finally. That comic you had filling in was about as funny as a heart attack." Finn noted.

"Yeah he makes me sad." The blonde added as she changed her position and sat on the chair upside down letting the blood rush to her head.

"Well if you guys hadn't lost your bass player who was also your singer I wouldn't have had to get that funny man." Kurt said shooting a look to Finn before Quinn who held up her hands in defence.

"That was more your fault than mine." She told him with a pointed look.

"I thought we were never to talk about that." Finn exclaimed folding his arms over his chest and shifted away from Kurt slightly. The smaller man clearly saw this as a challenge and saddled up closer to his boyfriend putting his arm around Finn's broad chest. He leaned up and whispered in the man's ear before a goofy smile played across his lips and jumped up.

"Right we're going to bed!" Kurt yelled as he jumped up behind his boyfriend and began to walk away.

"If he doesn't go home soon, I'm gonna assume Finn has moved in and charge him rent!" Quinn called over them.

"He is paying rent...just not with cash." Kurt yelled back.

"Ew, now that is just ruining my happy imagine of Quinn and some random chick." Brittney grimaced as she rubbed her thigh.

"If you're gonna start giving yourself a happy when I'm here can you let me know so I can go to my room." Quinn groaned as she stretched out on the sofa.

"I strained by thigh in dance class today, I'll wait until I go to bed. So you gonna see this girl again?"

"No I never see them again. Britt you need to sit up your face looks like a tomato."

"I like it, I feel all light headed. You know eventually you are gonna have to see a girl twice otherwise you are gonna end up alone."

"That's depressing." She replied sourly.

"But it's true. All of us will continue to pair off and even Jamie will eventually." The words hit home, they always did, and this topic of conversation was not uncommon in her life. Quinn knew they were right. Of course they were right; still she never stayed till the morning. There is a fear in waking up beside someone, what if they ask you to leave? They might not feel the same. They might feel the same, you start to date and then 6 months later you end up on the floor of your living room crying to 'all by myself.' It was too hard. Although it was hard leaving Rachel this evening, the hardest it had been in a while.

"Well if you keep going like this we are gonna be alone together with fifty cats." She pointed out and Brittney drew the sides of her lips down contemplating this future.

"I'm okay with that I like cats." Britt replied after a pause. "Right I'm going to bed. I've got dance class early tomorrow and I want to sort myself out if you know what I mean." Getting up she winked at Quinn who rolled her eyes.

"Unfortunately I know what you mean. I'm just gonna watch the end of the movie. Happy playing!" She called after her roommate as she chuckled to herself.

Herself Brittney and Kurt had been friends since middle school. When Kurt had first come out in 10th grade it had been Quinn who had punched the basketball player who had insulted him. When Quinn had been caught kissing one of cheerleaders it had been Brittney who had egged the girl's car who mocked her. They had always stuck by each other and that hadn't changed with age. Along the way they had adopted Santana, Puck and Finn to their group and they had become a family of sorts.

Quinn knew she should go to bed she had to be up at 9 for a piano lesson. But she couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she was haunted by brown orbs that turned dark with desire. She could escape the memory of Rachel and the things she made her body do. Quinn curled up on the couch and just allowed the thoughts to run through her mind and eventually her eyes closed and sleep took over. It was a peaceful content slumber and the best few hours' sleep she'd had in a long time.

No nightmares.

A week later and Quinn walked into Bar Nun. Kurt had brought it last year with help from his father; he was spoilt by his dad, who had lavished things on his son since his wife died. Quinn had been sceptical about the success of the bar when Kurt had first announced it but it had become a huge hit. The gay population of New York had been drawn there which had been great at first for Quinn but now it was always the same girls.

She smiled at Mike the bouncer as she skipped inside, Kurt had told her that she had to come to meet his new warm up band. Her roommate had been excited about it all week and she had reluctantly agreed. Walking straight to the bar and ordered a beer as she caught the eye of a girl the other side and smiled at her. She didn't recognise the black

haired woman and suddenly she thought her night wouldn't be so bad after all. The tall dark haired woman came striding over and Quinn couldn't stop from watching the way her chest moved as she walked.

"Want a drink?" The woman asked and Quinn shook her head lifting her bottle. "Well to be fair that was just my small talk." Quinn leaned in closer to smell the girl's perfume which was too strong. She wasn't completely stunning, she was attractive but in an obvious way and her short skirt and low cut top left little to the imagination. But Quinn wasn't one to be overly picky.

"It was good. Impressive."

"I appreciate your lying." The woman said reaching out for Quinn's loop on her jeans pulling her even closer.

"You're forward." The pianist commented a little shocked but also turned on by the woman's brashness.

"You don't get anywhere by being shy." She smirked and Quinn liked her approach. "So how about it?" Quinn grinned she could always watch this band done other time.

"Quinn?" The blonde spun round and was stunned to see Rachel standing beside her. "Hi." Quinn eyed the short girl standing beside her, she had too much to process. 'What was Rachel doing here?' She thought to herself, 'god she looked hot!' "Erm I thought you said you'd meet me here." Quinn weighed this up for a moment. She had mentioned to Rachel that she came to this bar and might see her some time. She was sure that she had not specifically arranged to meet the girl. "Who's this?" She asked pointing to the woman who still had her fingers threaded through her loops.

"Er..." Quinn started pathetically.

"Amanda." The new comer said removing her hand offering it to Rachel who just looked at the gesture and turned back to Quinn. The blonde wondered if there was any chance the floor would open and swallow her whole.

"Rachel I..." Quinn tried to start as she turned out of Amanda's grip.

"What's going on?" Rachel jumped in as Quinn seemed unable to find the words she needed to say.

"We had a good time last week didn't we?" Quinn sighed as she tried to explain and Rachel's forehead knotted, for a brief moment Quinn wanted to reach out and un-crease her lines.

"I had fun too. I assumed that we would meet maybe go out and repeat it." There was a slight smile on her face but it's didn't light up her expression like it had in their previous encounter. "Or am I completely wrong?"

"I'm not a relationship kinda girl." Quinn told her putting on her standard game face, ignoring the unknown feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"I wasn't aware I was asking for a relationship." She stated her left hand resting upon her hip staring at Quinn.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression." Quinn could feel Amanda's hand curling around her waist and it was only this gesture that made her remember they weren't alone.

"No it's my own fault for thinking differently. I didn't realise you were one of those girls." Her tone held some venom within it and Quinn felt it sting her flesh.

"I'm not one of those-" Quinn began to argue as the girl walked off.

"Don't. You'll only embarrass both of us. Because you'll be lying and I might actually believe you." The blonde let out a ragged breath as she watched the petite women get swallowed up by the crowd and then she felt a pair of lips against her neck.

"So where were we?" Amanda whispered in her ear before sucking on her lope. Quinn grimaced and wriggled out of the woman's grip.

"Actually my friends are over there. I'll catch up with you later yeah." It wasn't really a question neither was it something she had plans of following through with.

She walked away from the dark haired girl taking her beer with her not waiting for a reply. The appearance of Rachel had completely thrown her and their exchange had left Quinn cold. Sure she'd had angry girls confront her before but it had never bothered her; until now. She didn't like the emotions present in Rachel's eyes, the hurt, the confusion or the disappointment.

"Hey sexy!" Quinn looked up to see her mohawked friend Puck approaching her. "Still gay?" He asked throwing his arm around her, he asked her this question every time he saw her, and it still made her chuckle.

"When it comes to you, always." She grinned at him as she tried to see through the crowd if Rachel was still around.

"God that hurts. Luckily I'm always up for a challenge."

"You would have thought after four years you'd give up. I will commend your dedication." She told him with a chuckle as they arrived at their table. Quinn looked over at Santana who was sipping at her drink looking around suspiciously.

"San do you realise you're in a gay bar?" The blonde said into the Latina's ear as she sat beside her. "What if someone sees you?"

"Oh fuck you." She snapped. "I'm just looking, I'm not touching." Santana stated rather disappointedly.

"You're the worst gay ever."

"Sorry should I hand my lesbian permit back in?" She sniped back and Quinn watched as Santana's eyes fell on Brittney as she come over to the table.

"You're pathetic." Quinn laughed at her friends obvious feelings for the blonde. They had dated in secret for almost 3 months but when Britt confronted the Latina about hiding their relationship it all started to unravel. Quinn understood it to some degree. Santana had just qualified for the upcoming Olympics after injury had ruled her out previously and she was worried about her sponsors and her reputation. But still she couldn't imagine having to pretend to be someone else.

"At least I managed to have a relationship for 3 months!" Santana shot back and Quinn snapped her head to look at her with annoyance. "And you call me pathetic!"

"We are a right pair of losers then." Quinn stated dryly, still trying to subtly look for Rachel.

"When did you get here?" Kurt asked as she approached the table taking a seat opposite them.

"Only just." Quinn took a sip of her drink. "So where is this band I just HAD to see?"

"They'll be on in a minute. And don't any of you think of banging any of them!" He said looking at everyone at the table particularly Quinn.

"Why are you looking at me? You were to blame with our band breaking up." The blonde shot at him but jumped when she felt big hands upon her shoulders.

"What part of never talk about that does no one get!" Finn said as he leaned down and gave Quinn a hard kiss on her cheek. She pushed him off lightly and he walked over to Kurt giving him a quick peck.

Brittney was the last one to join their table and as she took her seat she sent a small smile to Santana. "Hey." The Latina whispered and then hung her head.

"Wow. Epic fail." Quinn muttered amusingly to herself.

"Fuck you very much." She spat back and downing her drink before walking back to the bar.

Quinn took this opportunity to turn her attention back to the stage. She was a little jealous that they had been replaced but she knew it had to happen. With that said Quinn also felt a little sorry for this band, this crowd could be hard to win over. It had taken her band almost a month to win people over. She noticed movement on the stage,

a guy in a wheel chair was helped up by an Asian girl along with a hot chocolate diva who strutted over to the keyboard. The Asian girl went over and sat behind the drums while the guy in the wheel chair started playing with the guitar. Quinn watched them with amusement, they looked completely miss matched.

Quinn looked around the bar again hoping that Rachel would still be there but she couldn't spot her. She wasn't quite sure why this fact made her feel a little empty inside.

"Hey, well we're the pretty little liars." The sudden voice from the stage caused her head to shoot up, it sounded just like...Rachel! "Hope you're all in the mood to dance for a bit!" With that the band started up. Quinn just sat there staring trying to remind herself how to breathe in and out.

"Am I alone in your heart?

Have I hope with your heart?

She's such a teaser, she's such a star.

Give me a reason or gimme a chance.

Am I alone in your heart, or am I alone?...

It tears me apart."

Quinn could not take her eyes of the girl singing. When she had played piano for her, the songs had been rather slow. But here with a band behind her she seemed to be shining. The beat was pulsing through her body and the dance floor that had been empty a moment ago was starting to fill up.

"Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the ass

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat."

Rachel's eyes unexpectedly fell upon her and smirked. Quinn suddenly felt small and looked away. She wasn't sure if she could cope for the next hour listening to this woman. Her voice was like honey, drawing her in.

"Give me an evening, or give me a night.

I'll show you the time, of your life.

I'll walk you home safe, from the dark.

I'll give you my jacket, I'll give you my heart.

But she won't come dancing tonight,

She's having the time of her life."

Eventually the song came to an end and now the dance floor was packed. Quinn was a little hurt because after her first full set the dance floor had not been that busy. But Quinn understood why. Rachel was like the piped piper leading people to dance.

"So?" Kurt said looking over and it snapped her out of her trance.

"How come you didn't say it was the girl I played with the other night?" Quinn asked leaning over the table to whisper in his ear, as the band started another song.

"I didn't want you to have a preconception of these guys. They're good aren't they?"

"They're amazing. Who is that girl?" Brittney jumped in, unable to take her eyes of the lead singer. Quinn didn't particularly like the way her blonde friend was ogling the girl but swallowed the feeling down.

"That's Rachel." Quinn answered before Kurt got the chance.

"You know her? Oh my god have you already been there?" Brittney snapped her head to look at her and suddenly she felt all eyes on her.

"No." She lied. "She was the singer the other week when I went to play piano. I don't bed everybody I meet." Quinn huffed.

"Yeah you do." Santana un-wantedly added to the conversation.

"Oh yeah you banged someone else that night." Finn said as he too looked back to the stage. "Well you should have gone home with her."

"Wipe your drool." Kurt said dryly handing his boyfriend a napkin. "Damn bisexuals." He muttered and Quinn chuckled.

"I'd do her." Puck growled as he licked his lips.

"You'll do anything with a pulse. Even then you're not fussy." Santana spat out. He was her fake boyfriend for events she had to attend, the mohawked man had tried it on with her multiply times but she'd always knocked him back.

"What was she like then?" Brittney continued to probe while stealing glances to the stage.

"Erm she was nice. Not very chatty." Quinn was at a blank at what to say. That she tasted like heaven or that she had fingers created for pleasure.

"Really I couldn't get her to shut up when I met her." Kurt said with a shrug.

"Maybe she's different when she's working." Quinn replied quickly with a fake look of puzzlement.

"I could think of some ways to shut up." The long legged blonde offered with a wild grin and Quinn instantly felt the Latina beside her tense.

"I've heard better. Well I'm gonna get another drink." Santana grumbled.

"Aren't you in training?" Quinn asked but Santana shot her a look and she stopped talking. "Sorry for asking." She said to herself with a sigh.

"Does she play for our team?" Britt asked.

"I don't know do I." The pianist told her a little too sharply. That earned a questioning look from Kurt who eventually shook it off.

"Oh she bats for us. It was what made me book her. Well that and her voice is like butter melting. The girls are gonna wanna do her and if they know they stand a chance they'll keep coming back." He grinned.

"You perv you've been hanging out with Puck too much." Brittney said but there was now a twinkle in her eye when she gazed at the brunette on stage.

"I don't even know why I come here. I either get shot down by girls or get hit on by men. I'm never gonna score here." Puck stated disappointedly.

"You like to watch girls getting it on, that's why you come here." Santana told him as she came back and he paused to think about it before grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"You're right. Although I'm gonna have to get some straight friends to party with soon. A dick like mine should not be locked away, it was made for loving." He slurred arrogantly but it didn't offend anyone they were use to it. It was part of Puck's charm Quinn thought as she laughed at him.

"Or you could join our way of thinking." Finn interrupted raising his intertwined hand with Kurt's to make his point.

"I don't think so. I'm still getting my head around the two of you. But I mean come on dude, why him over me? Have you seen my guns?" As if to emphasis his point he flexed his muscles almost breaking the seams of his t-shirt. Quinn reached over and pulled his arms down from his pose. "Was that turning you on?" He winked and she groaned.

"You're a pig." Quinn stated.

"But I could be your pig."

"Just what I always wanted!" She laughed and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. "You're crushing me with your love." Quinn chocked out and it only caused him to laugh.

"So there's no chance I'm getting that hot little singer to go home with me?" Puck asked as Quinn wiggled out of his grip and sorted her hair out.

"No way. Gay as the day is long." Kurt said with a bright smile.

"What about the others I reckon that keyboard player could be a freak in the sack. Aren't they all?" He directed his head towards Quinn who lightly slapped him.

"You're never gonna find out." Quinn smiled sweetly at him and he pouted which only caused her smile to widen.

"The rest are straight but NO!" Kurt informed him as the bar erupted into applause after another song. Although Quinn had been invested in the conversation with her friends she had kept one eye on Rachel as she sang. Quinn had watched as her hips swayed to the music and the way her hand had slipped up and down the microphone stand.

50 minutes later and the band were wrapping up thankfully. Quinn couldn't keep her eyes under control, they seemed to be completely drawn to the brunette singer. There was something about her, Quinn had felt it the first time they'd met and she still couldn't explain it. She had experienced instant attraction to girls but usually the moment she crept out the feeling would flutter away, however this time she wasn't so fortunate. Quinn watched as Rachel stood on stage with a crowd on the dance floor singing the song along with her.

"In your head, in your head,

Zombie, zombie, zombie,

Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,

In your head,

Zombie, zombie, zombie?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh,

Oh, oh, oh, oh, hey, oh, ya, ya-a..."

When the final note had come to a close Quinn was thankful, may be her heart rate would return to normal. However she could still hear the crowd of people singing back to the band.

" In your head, in your head,

Zombie, zombie, zombie!"

The blonde watched in amazement, the band had completely won the crowd over. She had never seen this reaction in the club before. They seemed to completely adore them and Quinn could see why. They seemed like a mixture of completely different people but together it seemed to work. Quinn suspected that it had something to do with their lead singer.

"okay okay!" Rachel said as the band started up again and they played the last part of Zombie again much to the crowds pleasure.

"I think I've hit the jackpot!" Kurt stated excitedly clapping his hands. The whole bar seemed to be singing the song along with the band even Santana albeit she was more subtle. Quinn looked around amazed but she smiled at the positive reaction they had received. "I'm totally giving them the Saturday night spot. They're gonna make me a fortune!" Quinn barely heard his words. She was under the same spell as everyone else in the bar.

There was passion that they all shared when on a stage. Rachel's love of singing was clear by the way she treated every song delicately, savouring the words in her mouth. Quinn found it so sexy, and she bit her bottom lip. Her band had loved performing but it was not everyone's first love. She liked playing keyboard for the band and singing a few songs but it wasn't her passion. What she loved more than anything else was just playing a piano. She had always wanted to take it further but life had got in the way after Julliard. She had only attended because it had always been her parent's dream and she had not wanted to disappoint them, the thought made her heart ache. However the elegant vocals coming from the stage seemed to lift the weight somewhat.

"Hey you get over here!" Kurt shouted to Rachel a few minutes later when the band were finished and packing away. The brunette was surrounded by a gaggle of adoring girls, Quinn smiled in amusement. Rachel seemed completely uncomfortable with all the attention but she was lovely to them none the less. She smiled apologetically before walking over to our table. Quinn watched as Brittney ran her hands over her dress trying to get the creases to vanish. Santana instantly sat up straight and Puck started to tense his arms. Quinn on the other hand held her breath in anticipation.

"Hey." She said a little embarrassed and waved weakly at the table avoiding Quinn's gaze.

"Come sit with us and meet everyone." Attentively she took a seat in between Kurt and Brittney the latter smiled at her brightly and Quinn had to swallow her groan. "This is Finn my boyfriend." The taller boy reached over and shook her hand. The pride simply poured off Kurt whenever he introduced Finn and Quinn found it touching. "The oaf opposite is Noah."

"You can call me be Puck." He interrupted as he took her hand and kissed it lightly. She gave him a confused smile before pulling it back.

"I don't think that's gonna be the only thing I'm calling you." She shot back with a wicked grin.

"I like her already." Puck said elbowing santana who shrugged.

"The lovely bundle of energy to your left is Brittney." Kurt continued with the introductions. The blonde took her hand firmly and Quinn noticed the way she was rubbing her thumb over the back of Rachel's hand.

"Hi Rachel. I'm single. Oh god I didn't meant to say that. Can we started over?" She rambled and Quinn couldn't help but chuckle. "Hi, I'm Brittney." Rachel was smiling that warm smile she had witnessed first-hand last week. She could feel an uncomfortable wave slip over her as she realised this time it was not directed at her.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you. Glad I'm not the only lonely member of the singles club." Rachel said with a wink and Quinn turned away.

"There's a club?" Brittney said confused after a beat she got the joke and laughed too loudly.

"The ray of sunshine across the table is San."

"Yeh Santana Lopez. I saw you race last year." Rachel said reaching out her hand but it was not taken by the Latina who just stared at the digits presented to her. Quinn kicked her shin hard with the back of her boot causing the brunettes hand to come shooting out. She shook hands with a look of disgust and muttered a barely audible "thanks."

"That hot thing over there is of cour-" Kurt started but was unable to finish his sentence as Rachel cut across him.

"Quinn. Oh we've met...Intimately" She said with a half grin, all of a sudden the blonde felt 6 pairs on her. She squirmed uncomfortably in her chair avoiding all eyes contact.

"A hot brunette...and Rachel is brunette..." Finn mused out loud about the description Quinn had given him about the girl she had slept with.

"You called me hot? Well that's flattering." Rachel remarked lifting her eyebrows and Quinn blushed and silently cursed herself.

"You liar!" Kurt shouted.

"You did sleep with her?" Brittney chimed in sounding slightly disappointed.

"You told them we didn't have sex? A little heads up would have been nice." Rachel stated sarcastically but Quinn detected a tone of amusement.

"I said I had sex with a brunette-"

"A hot brunette don't forget the hot part." Rachel added.

"We asked straight out half an hour ago if you'd slept with her and you said no." Kurt said raising his voice over the dj who was blasting music.

"That's because you said don't sleep with the band!"

"Bit late." The singer added and Quinn wished the girl wasn't at their table making the situation worse. She was pushing Quinn's buttons and she didn't appreciate it. Not many girls were able to get under Quinn's collar and it was making her heart speed up rapidly. "Well don't worry it won't be happening again. Quinn's made it clear she's a fuck 'em and chuck 'em type of girl. Anyway I should get back to helping my friends. It was nice meeting you all." She glared at Quinn briefly before smiling to everyone else and stopping at Brittney. "Hopefully I'll see you here again."

"Oh you'll see me again." Puck shouted after her and she turned and laughed but not in a spiteful way, her chortle made her eyes sparkle. With that she deserted their location and headed back to her band mates. Quinn felt all their eyes on her again and sighed.

"What?" She exclaimed.

"So she was ten out of ten?" Finn asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"Well you know on closer inspection I'm not sure if she was." Quinn lied. She was still having recurring dreams about Rachel's body and the effects that it had on her own.

"Whatever. You could have cut the sexual tension with a knife." Santana said with a bored expression.

"There was no tension." Quinn dismissed the comment although she had felt the atmosphere shift heavily upon her chest. "We hooked up. That's the end of the story." Quinn shrugged as though it was no big deal, and truth was it usually wasn't but for maybe the first time she felt bad.

"Didn't seem like that from where I was sitting." Santana stated with an evil smirk and Quinn had to fight the urge to wipe it off her face. This was clearly payback for her earlier comments regarding her and Brittney.

"You really slept with her?" Brittney said so quietly that Quinn almost didn't hear it.

"Yeah, but it didn't mean anything B, you know me. Never twice." Quinn put on her confident outer wall and smiled that cocky grin. "I'm going for a smoke. Are we done with this interrogation?" It wasn't really a question as she was already out of her seat before all the words had left her mouth.

Smoking was a terrible habit that Quinn had picked up in high school. She wished she had never started because she knew it was bad for her and it also cost her a small fortune. But right now as she inhaled the fumes it calmed her and she was thankful for the disgusting habit. She watched as the smoke she let out curled around the night air.

"Sort this out." The abrupt voice drew her from her calm happy place with a thud.

"Huh?" She said turning to see Kurt with a pissed off expression. "Sort what?"

"Whatever the fuck that was going on in my bar."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Quinn went back to smoking, although she knew ignoring him was a pointless task.

"Rachel Berry!" He said through gritted teeth.

"There's nothing to sort out."

"Are you kidding me? She couldn't wait to get away fast enough. That girl is going to make me some serious money, so you better sort out whatever it is between you so she won't fuck off to some other place!" He was being unreasonable, and his voice was becoming shrill.

"Chill out. Me and Rachel are cool." Quinn attempted to calm him but she saw the vein in his forehead start to pulsate and knew that any further squabbling was futile.

"Were you at the same table?"

"Yeah she was joking about it." Quinn wasn't sure why he was acting like this.

"Quinn! I put up with a lot of shit due to you. The random girls I have to feed before they'll leave. Your bed creaking until the early hours of the morning. I'm asking for one thing from you." The last 7 words from his lips were soft. "I'm using the friend card Q, I never use it so I'm whipping it out now. I implore you."

Quinn sighed deeply and rolled her eyes. Leaning against the wall her shoulders slouched low in defeat. "Fine but I'm not sure what you expect me to say."

"It may be a foreign word to you but I think what you need to say is sorry. It's called an apology."

"Bite me bitch." Quinn snapped at his sarcastic comment. "I'll call her or something during the week."

"Make sure you do it before Tuesday because that's when they play here next." Kurt smiled brightly pleased with the end result of his rant. Turning on his heels he retreated back inside.

Quinn didn't know what he expected her to say to Rachel. She was lying when she said she hadn't felt the tension. It had hung heavy between them and was impossible to ignore. But she couldn't admit that to Kurt because then she would be admitting she was in the wrong. Somehow she had wound up agreeing to apologise to a girl who made her heart race. Quinn had never expected to see Rachel again (even though part of her had thought about finding her; had even meant it when she'd said I'll see you around), now they were being thrust together. Fate? And Quinn was certain she did not like the way Rachel and Brittney were looking at each other.

"Fuck sake." She muttered to herself as she put her cigarette out. As the last efforts of the smoke carried into the night Quinn had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that Rachel was about to change everything.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Firstly I just want to say thank you to everyone who read this and who put this on alert! The idea for this came from The L Word actually. My friends brought me the box set and they all raved about Shane and Carmen but I really didn't understand Carmen's attraction and this idea wouldn't leave my head. So Here's another chapter. I'm sorry it's short and updates probably won't always be this quick! Thanks for reading and this is unbeta'd x

Two days later and Quinn was sitting in their converted outhouse. It was their study/music space. She had had spent the morning just playing the keyboard that she had set up, hating the way the keys felt under her fingers. She missed her piano. The way her fingers would glide over the keys creating the most beautiful music. Her fingers always naturally played the same tune that haunted her and with a sigh she looked over to Kurt's desk, it was messy with papers and it was like a siren calling her. She kept her fingers on the keys and tried to ignore the pull towards Kurt's desk. She missed her family piano, she missed the beautiful instruments at Julliard, Quinn missed what her life could have been if it hadn't all changed. With a frustrated sigh she changed the tune she was playing to a more cheerful one but she still found her eyes travelling to the desk or the appearance of a certain brunette came to her mind.

By early evening Quinn was pissed that she still wasn't able to escape her thoughts of Rachel. It was odd. Usually she would have simply taken some random girl home and forgotten all about the brunette. However when the night had ended Quinn had watched as the girl she'd been talking to when Rachel had interrupted (Quinn couldn't remember her name...she recalled it began with an A), approach her but Quinn had declined her offer. "What's wrong with me?" She mused aloud with a slight frown. Maybe Kurt was right, she should apologise to the girl. When she had left Rachel's apartment she had kissed her tenderly saying 'I'll see you soon.' It hadn't been something she was planning to follow through with but as she had said the words Quinn had meant them. Perhaps she'd just give her a call, go for a drink and talk...

Getting up she went over to Kurt's desk looking for any information on this infamous 'Rachel Berry'. How did he get anything done with this useless filing system she said flicking through folders discarded randomly? "Ah ha!" She exclaimed pulling out a page of contact details for 'The Pretty Little Liars'. "Missed my calling as a detective". She chuckled to herself. Dialling the cell number under Rachel's name she waited holding her breath.

"Hey, you have reached Rachel unfortunately I can't come to the phone at this moment however if you leave your name and number I will attempt to return your call at a later date...BEEP..." Quinn took a deep breath considering what to say but instead quickly hung up with a sigh. She reluctantly tried the rest of the numbers for the band and was met by either endless ringing or answering messages.

"Well can't say I didn't try." There was one more number under 'in case of emergency'; she looked at it for a few moments before pushing it into her phone. It could be for anything, the hospital, a doctor, still it didn't prevent Quinn from putting the phone to her ear as it rang. It wasn't a New York number and she didn't recognise the code. She was about to hang up when an out of breath male voice came answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi is Rachel Berry there by any chance?" Quinn asked cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder while she re-messed up Kurt's desk.

"No sorry she doesn't actually live here anymore." He explained.

"Oh right do you know where she is or how I can get in contact with her?"

"Erm have you tried her cell. Can I ask who this is and why you need to get hold of her."

"Oh yeah right. I tried her cell. Her band is playing at my bar tomorrow and I just wanted to tell her it's changed. It's quite important." Quinn lied through her teeth.

"Right when I spoke to her this morning she said she was playing a birthday party." She could tell by his slight accent that he was not from around these parts, it had the same soft tone's as Rachel's voice; it felt what she imagined home felt like.

"You wouldn't happen to know where? I just really need to get in contact with her."

"I think she said Charlie's." Quinn knew the place. It was a classy place in midtown. Quinn couldn't help but wonder who this was she was talking to. Could it be an ex? The thought made her feel a little uncomfortable but she couldn't decide whether it was because Rachel had been with men or because someone else had touched her.

"Yeah I know the place. Thanks for your help."

"It's okay. She rang me on Saturday to tell me she really enjoyed your bar." He went on and Quinn was about to close the folder when she noticed the scribble beside Rachel's emergency number...'John and Robin Berry (parents).

"Oh fuck." She mumbled almost dropping the phone from its resting place.

"Excuse me?" He asked and she thought he almost sounded amused.

"I'm sorry...Sir. Erm thank you for the information. I should go...now." She stumbled over her words.

"Yes, yes of course. Well I hope I've been of some service."

"Yeah you were great. Thanks." She didn't even say goodbye instead just hung up and let the phone fall from her hand to the table with a thud. "Fucking hell." Quinn said with a light chuckle. She had never in her life spoke to the parents of someone she had slept with. Rachel Berry was causing her to break all the rules she had set up for herself even if it was by complete accident. "Fucking Rachel Berry. Wait that's that what got you into this trouble." Quinn rubbed her face hard and laughed lightly, she was talking and answering herself.

Half an hour later Quinn was standing outside Charlie's. She was dressed in a pair of cream linen pants, a white shirt, a loose tie and a waist coat that matched her cream trousers. Her finishing touches to the outfit were a pair of black heels and a straw trilby on her head. She checked herself out one more time before heading inside. The blonde could hear the unforgettable voice of Rachel and she didn't even try to prevent the grin that played across her face as she listened. She didn't recognise the song although she was enjoying the way Rachel's body was moving to the beat. Quinn found herself leaning against the bar listening to the words of the song, ignoring the other people leering over the brunette.

"I'm that thing, that'll make you wanna sing

Take you out to buy a ring

I'm not trynna settle down

I just wanna play around, girl."

Quinn bit her lower lip As she continued to listen. Rachel who had been scanning the room full of people found her eyes upon Quinn. The brunette almost smirked before singing the next line.

"You want a temporary tattoo, don't you?" The way she sang the words made Quinn ache.

"You wanna Wear My Kiss

All over your body

Once you try it on, you can't live without it

You wanna Wear My Kiss

All over your lips

I promise you this

You wanna Wear My Kiss."

Jesus. Quinn thought and couldn't stop her mind from thinking about the way Rachel had kissed, licked and bitten almost every area of her body. She had spent the next week finding new and different marks left by the adventurous brunette. She clamped her thighs together as Rachel sang staring at her. She just wanted to run up on the stage and jump the girl but Quinn thought it might ruin whoever's birthday it was.

The sudden shouts and applause caused Quinn to fall back into reality. "Thank you. We're gonna have a short break and when we come back you better have your dancing shoes on! And someone for those slow ones at the end!" Rachel told the room before she left the stage and walked straight towards Quinn getting questioning looks from her band mates.

"You know the birthday girl?" Rachel asked trying to suppress a smile.

"Yeah we're old friends. Go back years."

"It wouldn't even surprise me if you had hooked up with her." The brunette remarked as she leaned over the bar getting the male's attention. "Can I have a diet coke please."

"No could you make that a Chardonnay in a coffee mug and a bud." Rachel opened her mouth to protest but then closed it again avoiding hazel eyes.

"What are you doing here? Unless you have actually slept with the birthday girl?"

"No I haven't...actually just point her out to make sure I haven't." The taller girl laughed but checked the girl out as Rachel pointed towards a redhead. "Nope definitely haven't slept with her."

"How did you know where I was?" She continued on with her questions and Quinn had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She considered lying but shook her head lightly.

"It's embarrassing."

"Oh do tell." Rachel perked up as she accepted the drinks and paid pushing Quinn's money back.

"Well I kinda went through Kurt's files to find your cell number I tried the whole bands."

"Oh that's desperate." Rachel chuckled, but Quinn was aware that Rachel was keeping her distance and didn't enter Quinn's personal space.

"It gets worse." She said rubbing her forehead and Rachel laughed clearly intrigued. "Well all of you had your phones off or didn't answer so I rang your home number. Your dad answered." Quinn hung her head and Rachel only laughed harder.

"My dad!"

"Well unless your mom has a ridiculously deep voice."

"I don't have a mother." Just like that the mood of the conversation suddenly shifted and Quinn frowned feeling an instant empathy with the brunette. "You don't have to look like that. I mean I do have a mother I've just never met her."

The blonde frowned completely confused by the girls story. "I'm a little lost."

"Artificial insemination. I have two gay dads." Rachel explained nodding her head.

"Two dads?"

"Yeah. I love it. We use to sit up late on a Friday night and watch Funny Girl. They passed their love of musicals on to their only child. I miss them." Quinn noted the faraway look in Rachel eyes and wondered where the shorter girl was, wishing that she could travel along with the brunette. Listening to her talk about her dads made Quinn's heart ache a little but she pushed the pain aside into its locked vault that it had escaped from.

"That sounds nice. So where about are you from?"

"Why because I've got two dads I can't be from around here?" Rachel shot back and Quinn held up her hand in defence.

"No because you and your dad have the same slight accent and the number I called wasn't local." Quinn tried to explain keeping her eyes firmly on Rachel.

"Oh right. Sorry. Yeah I moved out here for college when I was 18. I'm from Lima in Ohio."

"And you moved here to the big city to make your dreams out true?" Quinn remarked, it was a common story in this city.

"Something like that. I wanted to escape to somewhere else, be someone else."

"What was wrong with who you were?" Quinn probed as she took a swig from her bottle never taking her eyes off the girl in front of her.

"I didn't think there was anything wrong with her. But other people clearly did. Hence my daily slushie facials." She shrugged as though it was no big deal but Quinn could see that the hurt still lingered behind those brown orbs.

"That's harsh."

"Indeed. But we deal and we grow better for it. However you still haven't told me what you're doing here." Rachel returned the focus back on her and Quinn smiled with half her mouth.

"I erm...I came to apologise." For the first time since they had started talk Quinn looked away.

"You're saying sorry. Is this a first?"

"And perhaps the last."

"So what you're saying is that I should savour this moment." Quinn nodded. "What are you sorry for?" The blonde rubbed her tongue along her teeth smiling tightly, Rachel was not going to make it easy.

"For you know what happened? Between us."

"What happened between us exactly?" The playful look on her face meant that Quinn couldn't be annoyed, even if she tried. "Come outside with me a second to finish this conversation. I'm sweating in here and that is not very appealing." Quinn gestured for Rachel to lead the way and she loyally followed the shorter girl.

"So you were explaining what happened between us?" Quinn chuckled and shook her head playfully.

"You aren't going to make this easy are you?"

"Well I didn't realise I was meant to make this simple for you." She laughed leaning against the wall and Quinn stood in front of her.

"I should have called or handled the situation better and since it looks like we will be seeing each other more I want us to be friends." Quinn mumbled, uncomfortable about the rare occasion of apologising.

"And what if I say I have enough friends?"

"Then I will have to be the best friend you've ever had and then you won't be able to live without me."

"I'm trying to work out if that's a threat or a promise." Quinn smiled before subconsciously reaching out and pushing Rachel's hair out of her face. "Are you putting the moves on me again?" Rachel asked with a grin as she reached up and took Quinn's hand holding it loosely by her side.

"I think you hit on me the first time." The blonde traced her thumb over the tanned skin of Rachel's hand.

"Is that how you remember it? I remember someone saying something about getting distracted. A terrible chat up line."

"Hey it was you who was waiting for me in the toilet."

"I blame the Chardonnay for that." Rachel joked as she tugged on the shorter girls hand pulling her closer.

"What and not my amazing eyes or disarming smile?" Quinn added as she took another step closer to the brunette so that their bodies were flush against each other.

"They were both a factor." Rachel whispered all the while staring at Quinn's lips. The blonde knew she should back away, she had come here to apologise for this very thing and now here she was inches away from Rachel's full lips. She didn't know what this feeling was; this instant pull to the girl. Quinn could not deny that Rachel was gorgeous and that explained some of the attraction but there was something else shimmering underneath the girl's stunning appearance.

Then without any warning from her brain she crashed her lips into Rachel's. The short girls hand squeezed Quinn's digits tightly before letting go and wrapping her hand's around Quinn's small waist. The blonde found one hand on Rachel's soft cheek and the other tangled in brown hair pulling Rachel deeper into the kiss. Quinn didn't ask for

permission as she slipped her tongue into Rachel's willing mouth causing a muffled moan to escape. This soft noise only caused Quinn to kiss her deeper, pushing the smaller person against the wall harder. She pulled away for a second leaning her forehead against Rachel's biting her bottom lip waiting for her breath to regulate. Maybe for her mind to catch up with her body. Rachel's left hands traced the blonde's face and when her finger travelled to the slight scar above her eyebrow she had to stop herself from flinching.

"Where's that from?" Quinn didn't answer, she didn't want to talk right now so instead she leaned back in to capture Rachel's exposed neck. This seemed to cause the question to die as she leaned her head to the right giving Quinn more excess. "Oh Quinn." She groaned as she felt teeth graze her skin clearly marking her flesh. Quinn's hand travelled up Rachel's body, over her toned stomach, dragging them over her breast before resting on Rachel's collar bone.

"What's that for?" Quinn sighed and pulled back her lips slightly swollen.

"What's what?" She asked and Rachel held the blondes wrist up, indicating that she meant the tattoo on her wrist. The brunette pulled the girls hand up to her lips and started to kiss where the ink had marked her skin forever.

"It's a tattoo." Quinn said rather uncomfortable trying to lean in to kiss the girl again but Rachel smiled turning her head to avoid the action.

"I'm aware of that. What initials are they, what do they mean?" The blonde looked between her wrist and brown eyes and this time leaned forward to capture those lips. Rachel seemed to give up with her questions as she returned the kiss hungrily. Rachel sucked Quinn's bottom lip into her mouth running her tongue over the flesh. Quinn felt that unfamiliar sinking in her stomach but she kissed through that feeling hoping it would subside. The blonde's hand was snaking up Rachel's exposed thigh getting closer to her destination she felt Rachel part her legs hopefully.

"Rach! Oh Jesus! Fucking hell!" A girl shouted interrupting their moment and Quinn pulled back, running her fingers over her lips. "That was kinda hot!"

"Mercedes!" Rachel exclaimed. "I'll be back in a moment." She stared at her band mate until she caved and retreated back into the bar. Sighing she turned back to Quinn. "Well that stopped that." She nodded and looked down at her feet. Quinn was frustrated she wasn't going to lie, she had wanted so badly to touch Rachel again, she wanted to get lost in those lips. She had come here to say sorry and she was repeating it all over again, she didn't even have an excuse or reason for it. All Quinn knew was that she didn't want their kiss to end. "Erm can I see you tomorrow?"

Quinn looked up shocked and a fearful feeling ran through her body. Shaking her head she responded. "I can't tomorrow I erm...I have plans with someone."

"Someone?" Rachel probed.

"Yes someone." She snapped and instantly felt guilty, but it was none of Rachel's business. "I should go, let you get back in there." Quinn said quietly meeting confused brown eyes.

"Yes of course. I'll probably see you soon?" It was a question but Quinn wasn't sure if that was Rachel's intention.

"Yeah. Have a good night." And with that Quinn turned and walked away. Rachel stood there sadly watching her leave with a heavy heart. When Quinn reached the end of the street she turned around to see the brunette had gone inside. Sighing she rubbed her face and swallowed hard. This uncontrollable attraction she had with Rachel was getting out of control. "Fuck." She muttered when she finally let her feet take her to the subway. That had not been how her apology was meant to go and Quinn worried that she had just done more harm than good. And yet she didn't regret it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thanks again to everyone who reads and/or comments on this fic! I've got the week off hence why I've updated so much. Hope you enjoy this chapter x**

Quinn walked beside Finn into Bar Nun; they smiled at random people as they walked further into the building until they reached their usual table.

"Hi." Finn said leaning over and kissing Kurt quickly on the lips.

"Is that all I get?" The boy pouted.

"You'll get more later be patient."

"Says the man who had to think of the mail man the first few times we had sex, is that the definition of patients is it?" Kurt grumbled.

"Hey! That's private stuff." He exclaimed as he took a seat beside his other half.

"Sorry." Kurt apologised as he leaned over and kissed his boyfriend again.

"Oh get a room." Quinn huffed as she sat next Santana who was glaring across the room somewhere.

"That's rich coming from you." Kurt began as the blonde frowned at him. "I was chatting to Rachel's band who informed me you had her thrown against the wall pretty much fucking her." Quinn's jaw unwillingly fell open.

"I...I was not...we were not fucking." Quinn stuttered out a faint glow on her cheeks appearing.

"I think you need to look up what an apology is because you are doing it wrong." He snapped back.

"Oh shut up. We are sorted now so it's all okay." She returned his sharp gesture and dramatically turned to Santana who was still staring off in the other direction. "What the hell are you staring at?" The Latina didn't answer and just continued to glare. "Seriously what is so interesting over th-" The words were lost however when she followed the Santana's eye line and she saw the sight for herself. Over by the bar stood Rachel and Brittney laughing together, clearly something was extremely funny. "Oh" She said simply a twinge pulling at her heart but it was nothing she couldn't ignore.

"Yeah oh! They've been like that for the last 15 fucking minutes." Santana sharply spoke; it was obvious just from her facial expression that she was not happy about the interaction.

"They're just talking." Quinn shrugged.

"Just talking leads to just fucking which leads to just damn well dating that finishes with marriage and kids."

"You're not being just a little bit dramatic." The Latina shot her a look and raised her eyebrows. "I don't think Brittney is Rachel's type." She wasn't sure if this was just the wishful thinking of her heart or an accurate assumption by her mind.

"Why what's wrong with B? She's funny and caring not to mention great in the sack."

"Do you want them to start dating?" Quinn asked confused.

"No! I'm just saying that Britt is the girl you end up with." The dark haired girl said quietly.

"You had your opportunity San."

"I know that okay! Do you need to rub it in all the time?" Her features became hard and the blonde knew not to push it any more. Santana was suffering daily for her choice. Instead Quinn reached out and squeezed her friend's knee lightly and San attempted a sad smile.

"I thought we weren't allowed to hit on the band?" Quinn questioned Kurt who was too invested in nibbling at Finn's neck. "Put him down!" The boy removed himself and looked over to Brittney and Rachel.

"They're just talking. Plus that threat was more aimed at you and Puck. Although you've already broke my golden rule."

"I slept with her before the rule had been put out there." Quinn defended herself.

"Let's be honest if you hadn't already done it, it would be you over there instead of Brittney. And the reason that I don't care that she's 'talking' to Rachel is because that girl doesn't have a bad bone in her hot toned little body."

"Did you just make a comment about a woman's body?" Finn asked with a smirk.

"I did, I wouldn't want to ride the girl train again but I can eye a good body when I see one. That girl over there will not break anyone's heart. So I say crack on." It was his final say and Quinn gave up trying to get him to intervene. She could deal with them talking, Brittney hadn't dated anyone for over a year so she felt save in the knowledge that the girls were just having a pleasant conversation.

After a beat Finn's eyes flew open. "Wait! Ride the girl train again?" Finn yelled clearly surprised by his boyfriends slip up.

"It was just one time." Kurt tried to tell him but Finn was still frowning at him.

"It was just funny!" Quinn chimed in trying to hold back the memory of that night in junior year. "And before you ask it wasn't me...or Brittney."

"Can we not talk about it please? I still have recurring nightmares about it."

"You had sex with girls and yet you give me hassle. Why has this never come up?"

"Because it was a moment of stupidity."

"More like 5 seconds of stupidity." Quinn chuckled. "Usually it's a girl running out of a party crying."

"Thank you for that! You'd know all about girls leaving parties in tears." He shot back.

"That was one time and it wasn't even really my fault. How did we get on me?" She enquired throwing her hands up in the hair.

"Fuck." Quinn shot her head to the side at the sound of Santana's voice but all she saw was a flurry of movement as the Latina ran past her to the exit.

"What was that-" She didn't need to finish that sentence, she saw what had caused the girl to retreat. Through the bodies and across by the bar Rachel had leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on Brittney's lips. Quinn's stomach dropped to the floor and she clenched her jaw tightly; swallowing down bile. She didn't know what this feeling was, she had experienced worse feelings in the past but this was new. She locked herself away from most feelings only allowing the happy moments to touch and caress her. This was like a bullet to her heart and she didn't care for it.

"Hey." The bright voice of Brittney brought her back to reality with a thud. She had to fight her instant reaction to ignore the blonde; she was one of her best friends after all.

"Hiya," Was the best she could muster, but she felt guilty for her attitude and smiled brightly to her friend although it took strength.

"So something you want to tell us?" Kurt asked with a smirk.

"Tell you what?" She asked coyly but the smirk on her face told them she knew exactly what they meant. And just like that Quinn couldn't hold any anger towards Brittney and bit down on her lip hard to keep it all inside.

"Oh just some kissing action that we just witnessed." Finn remarked. "Maybe it was just our eyes playing a trick on us." He shrugged dramatically.

"Nope she kissed me. She just kissed me." The happiness was radiating off her and Quinn felt a sting. "What do you think that means? It was just a kiss."

"No way." Finn said showing his white teeth.

"I do have to agree with my other half. Something tells me when Rachel kisses someone it's not just a kiss." Kurt shot his eyes subtly to Quinn who ignored his pointed glare.

"Yeah, Kurt's right." Quinn tried to encourage her friend but she thought her words sounded too stiff to be sincere. However the smile that lit the blondes face told her that Brittney hadn't noticed.

Britt chewed her bottom lip mulling over their words before nodding sharply. "Good. Hey where's San gone?"

"Oh she just went to get some air." Quinn lied. She had watched Brittney mope for months after her break up with Santana and here she was ready to move on, she wouldn't put a dampened on it no matter how crazy her heart was pounding.

"So you think I should ask her out on a date?" The blonde quickly asked.

"Who San?" Quinn asked puzzled.

"No Rachel. Or do you think I should wait for her to ask me?" She pointed the question at Quinn who was a little confused.

"I'm probably not the best person to ask." She replied with an apologetic half smile.

"Why because you slept with her?" She probed and Quinn shook her head instantly.

"No! Because I don't really date." With that Britt nodded her understanding.

"Just wait a bit and see where it goes. There's nothing worse than a pushy woman." Kurt told her and Finn snapped his head to look at his boyfriend.

"Seriously? How many woman have you been with." He questioned his voice going slightly higher than normal.

"Oh my god do you remember Cindy Black?" Brittney asked and the two blondes burst into fits of laughter.

"Yeah we were just talking about that." Quinn managed to get out in between giggles.

"That was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life and you two are laughing about it. Explain to me why we're friends?" Kurt grumbled.

"Because we're like herpes. One bad experience and we're together for life." Quinn said finally feeling her laughter die down.

"Did you really just compare our friendship to a sexual infection?" The boy looked at Quinn as she reached over the table and squeezed his hand.

"I'm poetic." She turned her attention to Finn now. "And yes it was just one girl." There was a relief that seemed to rush over Finn's face, it was clear that he was completely in love with Kurt and it made Quinn happy to see her friends so crazy about each other.

"Hey again! Hope you aren't getting tired of us yet." Quinn's eyes shot up to the stage to listen to Rachel talk, any conversation the table was having long forgotten. "We're going to try some new songs, don't want you lot getting bored." There was a huge cheer and the music started to play. Quinn's heart contracted as it waited for the incomparable voice of Rachel to start.

"I rushed right in

Just like a fool

So struck down by you

I didn't know what to do

I started on

Breaking my own heart

Breaking my own heart

Breaking my own heart

Yeah."

Quinn knew the song, at one time in her life the chorus had been a mantra as she left girl after girl. Sometimes when she would dismiss them it did leave cracks in her organ, never enough for her to change but just enough for her to feel it. Brittney's head bopped along to the beat as though it was just a cheerful tune, Quinn on the other hand wondered how much longer she could sit through. She saw Rachel catch the eye contact of her female flatmate and her feet wanted to carry her away but she couldn't move. It's funny how a simple song can touch you so deep on so many levels, make you want to cry and yet smile at the same time. Quinn had no doubt that Rachel could sing the saddest song in the world but to be in the brunettes presence while she sang it would only make her feel joy. She didn't even know this girl she thought 'I shouldn't be feeling this. I shouldn't care', she almost shouted in her mind.

"I need saving

Won't somebody save me

From this misery

Love is killing me

Ooo, save me

I hung on

To every word you say

In search of a sign girl

You felt the same way

But it was only me

Breaking my own heart

Breaking my own heart

Breaking my own heart."

Quinn was helpless as Rachel looked over to her and she was about to look away when she realised that she was not looking at her. Rachel was looking at Brittney again. Quinn had not wanted those brown orbs upon her but now they were looking at someone else Quinn felt her heart contract.

The song finished and Quinn managed to sit through another few songs that were luckily enough more upbeat. But it didn't lift her mood, she suddenly considered ending her friendship with Kurt and that way she wouldn't have to come to this place any more. Yet she knew that was impossible she depended upon Kurt and Brittney more than either of them would ever know.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a brunette watching her and she smiled only to have the girl look away shyly. Quinn had noticed the girl once or twice before and had never approached her. She was considering going over and introducing herself thankful for a distraction but it was when Rachel started her fourth song she realised that Santana had not returned. Pulling a cigarette out of her packet she motioned to the rest of the table she was going outside, taking her drink she left the group.

It was a nice evening and Quinn's bare arms enjoyed the cool breeze that greeted her. She scanned the few bodies that littered the exterior while lighting her cigarette. Over at the far table sat the Latina leaning over her drink circling her straw through the clear liquid. With a sigh Quinn walked over the slouching woman and took a seat opposite her with a tight smile.

"Thought you'd gone home." The blonde said while taking a drag and blowing the smoke above her. Santana looked down back at her drink.

"Yeah that was the plan. Then I thought what the fuck have I got to go home to?"

"Just go for it. With Britt I mean." The blonde said with a shrug.

"You don't get it. None of you do. You live in this stupid world where everything to black and white." Santana shook her head before taking a big gulp of her drink.

"Isn't it?" She pressed and the girl opposite rolled her eyes.

"You lot can be gay, straight, I mean you could turn into a god damn man if you wanted to. No one is watching you. You don't have sponsors on your back, you don't have expectations. I have to be straight." Then it all came back to Santana's usual excuse. She was a sprinter who should have been competed in the Olympics two years ago but an injury ruled her out (much to her horror) but now she had qualified and she was even expected to bring home a medal. Quinn could admit Santana was amazing, she ran as though her life depended upon it and she had loads of sponsors and appeal but what Quinn couldn't see why this meant San couldn't be herself.

"But you're not straight you're gay San." Her words were gentle. Yes Quinn often pushed her friend to come out but she also understood how it was cutting the dark haired beauty up. She was constantly conflicted and Quinn hated that Santana had to pretend to be someone else.

"I know that and you know that. But I could lose my reputation for this. I've worked my whole life for this."

"There are loads of people in the sporting world who have come out."

"The difference is they are established and have already had their careers. I can't. Not yet at least okay."

Quinn nodded silently puffing on her cigarette. It was hard seeing her friend so down, Santana was the strongest person she knew but at this moment she looked completely broken. "You love her though." It wasn't a question it was a fact.

"It doesn't matter. Love isn't always enough Fabrary." Necking back her drink she brought it back down on the table hard. "How ironic this is?" She muttered bitterly.

"What?"

"Getting advice about love and relationships from you."

"That's different." She shot back with a warning glance to not pursue this line of conversation.

"No it's not. You got hurt and I'm not saying it wasn't shit but now you've taken it upon to yourself to give the girls of New York a lesson." The Latina reached out and took Quinn's drink drinking deeply. The blonde watched as her friend helped herself to her drink.

"What lesson is that then?" She asked curiously but she knew she probably didn't really want to know the answer.

"You teach them how to hurt. You teach them to not get their hopes up on love. You break their hearts so they give up on their fairy tale ending."

Quinn's jaw set as she looked at her friend, unable to believe she had actually said that to her. Sure maybe she didn't really do relationships but she never set out to hurt people; not intentionally. "Fuck you Lopez."

"Was that too close to the truth?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." The duo sat glaring at each other and Quinn's stomach churned due to the venom of her words. They hurt a lot more than she was willing to admit.

"I think I'm gonna go." It wasn't an apology to anyone else considering the words 'I'm sorry' were not said but Quinn knew the athlete in front of her. She was backing down and that was the best you could manage. "I can't watch that in there." She admitted and Quinn looked up at her sadly.

"You could change it." Quinn said looking at her empty glass that had once been filled with her drink.

"I'm not taking any advice from the girl who murdered love." Quinn's head shot up about to bite back that was until she saw the smirk on Santana's face.

"You gonna be okay getting home?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Text me when you're home."

The Latina rolled her eyes. "Okay mom."

"Fuck you. I was only worrying about your safety. What should I say, you know if ANY one asks where you've gone." They both knew that she was talking about Brittney.

"Early training session I forgot about." She shrugged and began to walk off. Quinn watched wanting to say a million things to her friend about fighting for love. However that would only make her a hypocrite considering love was not something she particularly believed in any more.

She listened to people clapping and cheering inside and decided against going back in. Instead she pulled out another cigarette putting it to her lips before lighting it.

"Those things will kill you." She turned only to be confronted by Rachel who looked at her with a small smile.

"Do they? I've never heard that before. Maybe I should give up." Quinn looked at the white stick between her fingers before bringing it back up to her mouth.

"Maybe you should." She said as she took the seat that had been previously occupied by Santana. Quinn could hear the band playing as the sound travelled through the open doors and she frowned at the brunette.

"Seeing as you are the lead singer shouldn't you be in there?" She asked puzzled.

"The others are taking over and since I don't actually play any instruments I decided to come out for some fresh air...or rather smoke filled air. You know second hand smoke kills."

"Really I didn't know that either." She replied sarcastically. "Maybe I should give up."

"Maybe you should." Quinn couldn't help but chuckle. She frowned as she heard a familiar tune floating from Rachel's band. "Oh my god I use to love this song." she smiled. "You come along because I love your face and I admire you expensive taste." She sang softly and watched as Rachel's head snapped up causing Quinn to stop singing and frown instead.

"You can sing." She seemed slightly taken back and Quinn looked away suddenly uncomfortable. There was something about the way Rachel was watching her that caused her to be unable to meet the brunettes gaze.

"If that's what the kids are calling it." She rolled her eyes with a smile.

"You have a really nice voice." Quinn swallowed hard under Rachel's intense stare.

"Is that Artie singing? He has a good voice." It wasn't the slickest change of subject but she was feeling the pressure under brown eyes.

"Yeah it is and yes he does. I mean they are all talented singers but they enjoy playing their instruments more. Which is a good thing otherwise they'd have no need for me." She laughed but Quinn could subtly note a fear beneath her words.

"They'd always need you. I'm sure they're good singers but you have an amazing voice Rachel. Did you always want to be a singer?" Quinn asked as she watched the pulse under the skin of Rachel's neck pump as though it was hypnotising her.

"Yeah, I mean I never really saw myself singing in a band. I had huge unrealistic dreams of Broadway." There was sadness to her voice that made Quinn ache.

"Why are they unrealistic?"

"Because as you can clearly see I'm not on Broadway. I was the best in my town but here I'm just another voice." She cleared her throat and the blonde could tell this topic of conversation was hard for the brunette. If a genie came up to her that very moment she would have given all her wishes to Rachel.

"I don't think you could ever be descried as just another voice." Quinn said sincerely as she smiled at the shorter girl.

The brunette blushed and Quinn realised she had said too much. "Thank you. Do you sing?" She groaned inside as the topic had effortlessly slipped back on to her.

"In the shower." She chuckled but she could tell by Rachel's slightly knotted brow that answer was not enough. "Back in high school I use to be on the glee club as well as cheerleading." Rachel smiled and Quinn knew this response had been more satisfactory.

"A singing cheerleader?" She laughed a little.

"Well I didn't sing while a shook my pom poms but yea. Kurt cornered me into it really. But I'm not really much of a singer."

"But you have a good voice."

"I'm also a good cook but I don't want to be a chef." Quinn shot back with a raised eyebrow and Rachel shot her a disarming smile.

"I'll have to be the judge of that." She smirked. "So you'll have to cook me dinner." Quinn's stomach dropped, as her mouth went dry and her mind raced through something to say.

"So what about you and Brittney?" Rachel looked up a little surprised by the blondes sudden question.

"What about us?" She didn't like the way Rachel said 'us' it didn't settle right with her, like a bad taste that she couldn't rinse out.

"You kissed her." The brunette was watching her intensely and she shifted uncomfortably under it.

"Yes..." She trailed off with a frown as though she didn't understand the point of this questioning. Quinn frowned her.

"Well you kissed her." She repeated.

"I'm aware that I kissed her. I was there after all." Rachel seemed to be completely perplexed by this conversation.

"Kurt seems to think you aren't the type of person who means it when you kiss someone." Quinn didn't take her eyes of Rachel's wanting to watch every flicker of emotion. But the brunette's expression did not change.

"I do." Were the simple words she uttered and Quinn had to stop herself from sighing in frustration.

"So you meant it when you kissed her?" It felt like this was going round in circles. And that's when she saw it, a change in her armour, a small smirk.

"Did you want me to mean it?"

Quinn weighed up her reply. She wasn't sure what she wanted, but what she did want was for her friend to be happy. "She's cool." With that response Quinn looked away.

"Is that a yes?"

"It's a 'Britt is a cool girl and I want her to be happy' reply." When Quinn looked back up Rachel's mischievous smile was gone, replaced with an unreadable blank expression.

"Don't do that." Quinn frowned but not so much due to the words but rather the sad tone that accompanied them. Rachel pushed her chair back and stood up. "I don't need your help setting me up and I don't want it either."

"I wasn't..." She stopped herself however because she wasn't sure what the end of that sentence might be. Rachel stood looking down at her with raised eyebrows as if waiting for more to be said but when only silenced filled the air she sighed and went back inside. Quinn just sat and watched, unsure of what had just occurred before her eyes.

Quinn didn't go home alone that evening, the brunette by the bar had accompanied her home. She tried to fuck away the image of Rachel's face, although her mind had been free for a few seconds after her release those intense brown eyes returned to haunt her. The girl cried and moaned out Quinn's name as she brought her to her third orgasm a hand knotted in her blonde hair. It wasn't the same; she didn't taste as sweet, her shrill groans didn't make her head spin with desire. When the brunette left an hour later Quinn squinted her eyes and thought the retreating figure looked a lot like Rachel. It was just enough to fool herself before she laid her head back to the pillow and fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Quinn pushed through her front door with a heavy sigh. She felt as if her head was going to explode with frustration, and she thanked the painkillers she had previously taken. The pounding in her head had finally started to subside and all she wanted to do now was fall sleep. Throwing her bag down she walked over to the couch and fell back with a thud. It had been a long afternoon and Quinn was happy to finally have arrived at home. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath letting it out slowly, trying to calm her tired body. She wished that her legs had been able to carry her back to the music room/office but she continued to lay there feeling sorry for herself.

"Argh!" Quinn shouted as she felt a body land on her torso with a chuckle. Her eyes opened in surprised to see Brittney looking proud of herself. She had clearly leapt over the back of the sofa in a bombshell attack that Quinn had not seem coming.

"Surprise!" Brittney called out as she shifted positions lifting Quinn's legs up before placing them down upon her lap. The blonde rubbed her stomach although it didn't really hurt it was more to make a point.

"I have internal bleeding." Quinn stated with a pout and Brittney stuck her tongue out.

"Good day?" The bubbly blonde asked as she rubbed Quinn's stomach until the frowning girl grinned.

"Argh." She moaned screwing up her face.

"That good?" She chuckled at her friend's distressed expression.

"I picked up two new lessons from the piano gig with Rachel. One was alright but the other Jesus he was banging those keys like he hated them, I think he secretly wants drum lessons." Quinn stated with a grim expression and rolled her eyes.

"That sounds just as bad as my day." Brittney said with a lopsided grin. "I had Phil Rayner and he...Quinn I try to pride myself on being patient but a one footed chicken has better rhythm and I try damn it. But I've had to put him at the back for the showcase next weekend. He was put on this earth to test me Quinn Fabrary." Quinn could not stop from chuckling at the pained look on Brittney's face.

"Bit harsh. You teach kids Britt." She managed to say at the blonde who just sighed in frustration.

"Harsh? Phil is in my adult class! He's 25 I've been teaching him since he was 18!" She exclaimed throwing her hands up.

"I think that says more about your teaching abilities than it does his dance technique." Quinn pointed out trying to hide her smile; she was trying to whined the girl up. She had no doubt in Brittney's ability, she had been watching the girl dance since high school and she was outstanding. Quinn would sometimes spend her lunch at school watching the girl dance and it was as if the rest of the world slowly faded away, she found it truly beautiful.

She was met by a hurt expression before she narrowed her eyes and attacked the pianist with an on slaughter of tickles. "What was that? Was that you saying I'm the best dancer in the world?" Brittney yelled over Quinn's uncontrollable laughter, she tried to fight the dancer off but she was deceptionally strong and although she continued to try she knew it was a losing battle.

"Yes! Yes! You're the best!" She managed to shout out barely managing to catch her breath as the attack ended.

"That's what I though you said." Brittney said smugly and Quinn bit back a snarky comment knowing her lungs would not withstand more tickling. Yet the action had been a comfort to Quinn, only Brittney and Kurt were aware of how ticklish she was. And although they occasionally used it against her it always took her back to memories of high school when everything had seemed so much more simple. "What you doing tonight or who you doing?" She asked Quinn with raised eyebrows and the heavy breathing blond shrugged.

"Nothing. Sweet FA!" She said with a lazy smile while lifting her arms up over her head and stretching. Her white t-shirt rode up during the gesture exposing her toned abs to a light slap from Brittney.

"So you're staying in?" Quinn nodded chuckling as she pulled her top back down. "You wanna watch a film and order a pizza?" Brittney grinned widely hoping to persuade her friend, although they lived together it wasn't often they just sat about doing nothing together. Truth was Quinn couldn't think of a better way to spend her evening.

"Okay but I get to choose the film." She offered holding out her hand and Brittney looked at the out stretched digits cautiously with a frown.

Reluctantly she reached out and shook her housemates hand. "Deal. But no 'I want to slit my wrists this is so depressing stuff'. I want happy."

"Think I can manage that. How about the hangover 1 and 2?"

"Yeah!" she exclaimed clapping her hands. "You and Kurt are like my wolf pack." She laughed as Quinn shook her head chuckling. "Just gonna shower and change then I'm all yours."

"Best offer I've had in a long time." Quinn replied honestly. "I'm gonna go out back and unwind for a bit. Come get me when you're ready." Brittney bounced off the chair and exited to the stairs while Quinn watched her go with a grin before leaving the house for the garage at the back.

The medium sized building had originally just been for Kurt's office but Quinn's friends had got annoyed with her playing the keyboard at ridiculous times of the night and had surprised her by clearly out space for her out the back. Some people might have been offended by the gesture but Quinn was touched by the effort her friends had gone to.

They had set up random fairy lights and Quinn often found herself sitting out there just playing until the early hours of the morning. When her life was a mess and things were falling apart she could come out here and everything made sense to her. Every note remained the same, and she could get out every emotion that was speeding through her veins. Music was her escape.

Her fingers skimmed the keys and she played the same song she always did, whether she was warming up, whether she was lost in thoughts or simply wasting time out here she always played the same tune. It was like her comfort blanket. She didn't sing along to the tune because she did not think her voice could do the song justice and she didn't trust her emotions.

After a while of playing different tunes she could feel the stress and weight from her shoulders lift. She was playing the chorus to 'the fray' and found herself singing aloud "don't let me go, don't let me go," and she smiled to herself.

"It's been a while since I've heard you sing." Brittney stated who had appeared at the doorway, and she couldn't help but think of the evening last week when Rachel had heard her sing.

"Well I don't want to break all the mirrors and windows with my talent." Quinn joked as she stopped playing the notes and looked over to her friend.

"Shut up. You have a pretty voice." The blonde replied as she stepped further into the small shed.

"Well you must be as tone deaf as me."

"One day you will take a compliment and it will be my greatest achievement." She smiled widely and Quinn chuckled.

"I took a compliment last week when you said I looked hot." The pianist grinned self-assuredly.

"I'm always confuzzled by your cockiness and your modesty."

"Part of my charm. You ready for the film?" Quinn could see there was a question on the blonde's lips. That was one of the things that she loved about Brittney; she was easier to read than a book, their friendship was effortless. So when the dancer didn't reply straight away she waited patiently for her to speak her mind.

"Quinn?"

"Yes?" She answered as though she had not been expecting a question.

"About me and Rachel, you are okay with it?" The words shocked Quinn into silence and she just stared at the black and white keys in front of her. 'Why wouldn't I be okay with it?' she thought to herself. There was nothing between her and Rachel, yes they had slept together and yes there was that blip when she'd gone to apologise to the brunette. But it was just that a blip...right? Her head started to nod but there was a fear eating away at her stomach and it made her feel uneasy.

"Course." She managed to say with her dry mouth and she licked her lips trying to create some moisture with which to help her speak.

"Are you sure?" It was clear that Brittney was nervous about this topic as she stared down at her feet kicked at the floor as if there was an invisible pebble on the ground. And yet she had felt the need to speak her concerns to Quinn, this spoke more than her words did. Brittney liked Rachel. It was that simple.

Quinn laughed lightly and she hoped it didn't hold the tension that she felt. "Yes I'm sure B. why are you asking?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Because you slept with her, and if you like her then I won't reply to her." The taller girls frame was still ridged as if she was bracing herself for a fight.

"Has she called you?" Quinn shot back to quickly and she silently wished that she had bitten her tongue.

"She texted me this afternoon about going for a drink but you were there first and I don't want to do anything that could-"

"B, Brittney!" Quinn exclaimed holding her hands up trying to interrupt her friend. Quinn was a lot of things but when it came to her friends she was never selfish. Maybe her stomach churned at the idea of Rachel with Brittney and she didn't understand it, but she wanted her friend to be happy and that was her main concern. And if Rachel had text her then clearly the brunette was interested as well. The thought made her stomach flip again. Swallowing hard she looked up into crystal blue eyes and smiled genuinely. "There is nothing between me and Rachel. We hooked up but that's it. Honestly."

"So it wouldn't be weird?" The blonde finally looked up to meet Quinn's hazel eyes and her body seemed to have relaxed almost immediately.

"No it wouldn't be weird. You should text her." Brittney shrugged slightly and Quinn frowned at her. "What is it?"

"What if she doesn't like me like that?" She asked and Quinn felt for her friend. It took a lot for her to put herself on the line especially after Santana.

"She wouldn't have texted you if she didn't." Quinn counter argued.

"But she texted and didn't call, isn't that a bad sign?"

"No, she might be just as nervous as you plus it's the 21st century. Calling is so yesterday." Quinn joked but it didn't damper the concerned look on Brittney's face. "B, Rachel would not have texted you if she wasn't interested and she certainly wouldn't have kissed you. She's a good girl, you should take the chance."

"Okay but what do I say?" Brittney asked as she pulled her phone from the pocket of her sweatpants. Quinn smiled despite the monstrous emotions raging inside of her.

"What did her text say?" She moved over and patted the empty spot beside of her. Brittney grinned as she accepted the offer and sat beside her friend. Her fingers skimmed over the phone until she smiled and Quinn knew her eyes were tracing over the words she'd received from the singer. Her heart felt tight within her chest and she fought the feeling from taking over her entire body.

"It just says 'hi, hope you're well. I was texting to ask you to accompany me for evening dinner?' and she put two kisses at the end." Quinn could feel the tightness spreading and she clenched her jaw as she tried to control herself.

"Right well, firstly apologise for the late reply, and say you've been working. Then just say you'd love to meet up."

"Love to? Doesn't that make me seem a little desperate?" She crinkled her nose and Quinn sighed.

"Fine. Then just say you'd like to accompany her anywhere she wants to take you."

"Doesn't that make me seem a little easy?" Quinn took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Britt..." she breathed out.

"What? I just want it to be perfect." She explained with a pout and Quinn couldn't deny the small grin that showed up on her face.

"It's just a text."

"No. No it's not just a text, its sooo much more than that."

"Well I'm not exactly an expert on this. If you wanted to know how to sneak out of a second story bedroom window without getting a scratch on you then I'm your girl." Brittney chuckled. "But if it was me. I would say I'm glad you text me I would have text earlier but I had work but to be honest I was thinking about you all day."

"Ooo that's good." The bubbly blonde started writing it out on her phone.

"Then just say name a time and place and I'll all yours."

"And that's not desperate?"

"No it shows you like her."

"I do like her Quinn...is this really okay?" She asked again looking at the blonde through her eyelashes.

"Yes it's really okay." Quinn meant the words, even if her heart did agree with it.

"Good because if you weren't I wouldn't even think about going there." The piano player smiled widely a she wrapped her arm around Brittney's neck and pulled her into a hug.

"You big softy." She laughed as the other girl threw her arms around her in return and squeezed her tightly.

"Well it's always been us three. We're the quad pod."

"Tripod Britt. Tri is three, quad is four." Quinn corrected with a soft chuckle.

"Oh. I knew that." She said as she pulled back. "I hope she doesn't think I'm weird." Brittney seemed to muse aloud.

"She won't. If she's half as cool as I know she is then she'll love everything about you" Quinn rolled her eyes at Brittney's sceptical look. "Or just over look those weird things you do!" It earned her a light shoulder nudge. "Let's go watch these films; I want pizza with bacon on it!" Quinn said as she jumped up but Brittney was still sitting down staring off out the window. "Look Brittney I don't say this much because well I hate talking about my feelings and shit. But I love you, so you text that girl and be happy."

"I love you too...but I'm not sleeping with you." She laughed and Quinn frowned.

"I would rock your world." Quinn smirked as she exited the shed and was quickly followed by Brittney. The blonde in front suddenly didn't feel very hungry and she wondered to herself if she was coming down with something.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Firstly i want to say a huge massive big thank you to everyone who has commented on this and everyone who has put alerts on this story. It means loads and has had me want to update quicker. However from now on the updates are going to be a lot slower so bare with me please, the next chapter is almost finished and I have to say it's my favourite one I've written! Hope you enjoy this part, let me know what you think. As always (because i'm lazy) unbeta'd!**

Quinn was looking forward the evening ahead; it was time with her friends that made everything worth it. Moments with them were what she would look back on in her old age and smile at. Brittney skipped beside her with a grin planted firmly on her face. It had been there since yesterday after Rachel had replied about their date. It was all arranged for that coming Saturday and Quinn was happy for her friend...well she was pretending to be happy which was the same thing really. That's what Quinn told herself, there was a gnawing sensation deep in the pit of her stomach that she was unable to escape. No matter how many times she told herself it had nothing to do with Rachel the creature inside her laughed bitterly.

"How do you have so much energy?" Quinn stated, just watching her blonde friend made her feel completely exhausted. She didn't know how Brittney could have so much energy after a full day of dance classes. A few years previous Quinn and Kurt had taken one of her classes and the pair had almost called an ambulance fearing they were having heart attacks.

"I'm happy!" She replied.

"I can see that." Quinn chuckled.

"Do I look alright?" The shorter blonde rolled her eyes as she took in the girl's appearance again. She had wet look leggings on with a long vest top on. It was subtle yet not.

"For the hundredth time you look good. If I hadn't known you since I was 11 then I would totally be hitting on you." She offered with a lopsided smile and Brittney blushed.

"Yay!" She clapped and Quinn laughed.

"So why all the effort eh Brit?" She went on even though she knew the answer.

"Just wanted to make the effort for my friends." She lied as she avoided Quinn's knowing gaze.

"Right and it has nothing to do with a certain brunette playing tonight?" Quinn knew this was the real reason. She herself had actually made an extra effort getting dressed and she had cursed herself on multiply occasions during the process. It was all so confusing she didn't understand her own actions.

"Oh, Rachel's here tonight? I didn't know that."

"Course you didn't." They walked into the bar and instantly saw their friends at their usual table however this evening Quinn noted that Rachel was sitting with them and she quickly noticed that Puck wasn't there. She watched as Finn said something amusing and it caused Rachel's whole body to shake with laughter. The sight caused the blonde to smile naturally, she didn't realise she was staring until she heard the exclaiming voice beside her.

"Oh my I can't do this!" Brittney said as she turned and faced the bar taking deep breaths.

"Calm down its fine." Quinn said moving to stand beside her best friend.

"Fine? What am I going to do? I need a paper bag." She went on as her lung craved deep breathes of air.

"Just keep breathing. You need to just be yourself." Quinn told the blonde as she bumped their shoulders together.

"Myself?-who am I?" She could hear the panic in her friend's voice and she looked back over her shoulder to the beautiful brunette who sat with their friends. Her heart began to beat quickly until she ripped her eyes away to look at Brittney. She wished that she understood the effect the brunette had on her so that she could somehow cage it; instead it ran wild within her.

"You are my best friend. You're an amazing dancer-no-a fucking amazing dancer. You're kind and funny."

"And weird." She exclaimed as her head fell down onto her folded arms on the bar.

"But that's part of your charm." Quinn chuckled. "If she's worth it and I'm pretty certain she is then she'll only like you more because of it." The blonde lifted her head to look at Quinn with a shy smile before looking down at herself

"And I look hot yeah?"

"Hell yeah. I only have hot friends. It's like the number one quality I look for in my friends." Quinn said seriously before smiling. "You look great. Now get her a drink."

"What?" A fresh wave of panic appeared on her friends face. "What if she already has one and then I come over with another one and what if it's the wrong drink. I can't do this. Let's go home and I'll text her and cancel tomorrow." The beast inside Quinn purred with content at this idea and she instantly scolded herself.

"No Britt, this is the first girl since San. I'm gonna help you." The monster growled at her and Quinn ignored it. "When I looked over to the table I noticed her glass was empty. Also she's singing tonight so she needs a drink."

"But what should I get her? A coke? Or diet? If I get her diet am I saying I think she's fat because I don't think that at-"

"Breathe." She turned to the tall bartender who was serving and smiled waving her over, all she received was a dirty look before she went to another customer.

"I think that's why Kurt told you not to sleep with any of the new band or anyone who works here for that matter." Brittney offered and Quinn rolled her eyes waving towards matt who was also serving.

"She still not forgiven you for standing her up?" He asked as he came closer.

"To stand someone up you first have to have plans. Plus it was over a year ago!" Quinn protested, this is where she got her bad rep from; complete misunderstandings.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." He chuckled and Quinn just shook her head. "So what can I get you lovely ladies?"

"Can we have two lemonades one with vodka and one without and can you also get me a glass of chardonnay but can you put it in one of your coffee mugs." He frowned at her slightly before shrugging and walking off to sort out her order. Quinn turned to look at the blonde who also had a puzzled expression.

"I don't understand." she stated simply.

"Right now you need to listen because this is important. The lemonade is for me, the vodka is for you and the-"

"Why would Rachel want a mug of wine?" She interrupted.

"If you listen I'll tell you." Brittney mimed zipping her lips and Quinn continued. "Right so the mug is for Rachel. She doesn't like people to think she's drinking on stage. So you're gonna take that over to her and say thought you might like this. She'll take a sip and realise why you've done with the wine and you are gonna say 'yeah I use to do it for Quinn when she was on stage.' think you've got that?"

"I use to do this for Quinn. I got it. And she'll like this...although I never use to do this for you." She frowned and Quinn rubbed her forehead before handing money over to matt with a forced smile.

"I know. Just trust me okay." Quinn took her own drink and began to head towards their friends.

"I think I'm gonna drop these, my palms are so sweaty." Brittney breathed into Quinn's ear who shook her head.

"Power through Britt." She replied quickly before they finally arrived at the table and there were was an instant round of greetings, but she tried to avoid Rachel's eyes. She gestured to the blonde with her eyes to give Rachel the drink.

"Here you go." Rachel looked at the mug questionably before accepting it and taking a mouthful, she noted the panicked look in her friends eye. "Quinn use to do this when she was on stage, because she likes to drink and I use to get it for her." Quinn hung her head at her friends lie but not before she caught a smile on Rachel's face.

"Thank you that's very kind Brittney." She answered and the blonde took a seat beside the singer while Quinn walked over to sit next to Santana.

"What were we talking about?" Quinn suddenly said as she could feel a set of brown eyes upon her.

"Finn may have to move in." Kurt said with a wide grin showing his white teeth.

"Yay!" Brittney clapped.

"Why?" Quinn asked.

"They're laying people off at the music store." Finn said with a said face. "Well unless you want to loan me some dosh miss money bags." He smirked and Quinn rolled her eyes. She had money she wasn't sure how much she had because she hadn't checked the amount in a long time. But when she was 18 there had over 500,000 dollars in her savings account. However she'd made a silent promise to herself that she wouldn't touch it until she really needed to. So instead she struggled with money while teaching. Rachel watched the exchanged with knotted brows and Quinn noted her low cut vest top before quickly averting her eyes.

"Nope no can do. So welcome to the house. You can do the washing up. I hate that job." She told him brightly.

"I thought I could pay the rent in other ways." The dark haired boy said while running his hand up Kurt's thigh and the boy's eyes glistened.

"That's fine with me."

"Ew." Santana finally offered into the conversation, her eyes had been burning an invisible hole into Rachel's head. "How are the musically challenged students?" She turned to Quinn.

"Still challenged. Although sunshine has her audition for Julliard coming up." It was said with so much pride Quinn thought she might burst.

"Following in your footsteps eh?" Finn interjected.

"You went to Julliard?" The blonde's head snapped over to look at Rachel who face was painted with shock.

"Yeah. Class of 2016." It had been everything she thought she'd ever wanted or what she thought she'd wanted. It never meant what she thought it would the day she graduated.

"Wow I would have loved to have gone there." There was clearly more to Rachel's trail of thought but she didn't go in deeper and the group didn't push.

"It wasn't like fame. We didn't dance on the tables in the cafeteria or anything." Quinn said with a smile and it was enough to cause the corner or Rachel's mouth to rise. She couldn't explain how it made her stomach flip that she'd been the one to cause Rachel to smile.

"That's because you can't dance." Kurt jumped in.

"Hey! I will have you know that my milkshake brings all the girls to the yard." She shot back.

"Yeah she could teach you but she'd have to charge." Santana added and they chuckled together as they started to discuss Puck's birthday that was quickly approaching. Quinn filtered them out as she heard the exchange across the table.

"Thanks again for my drink. It was very thoughtful." Rachel began.

"That's okay Qu- I mean I noticed that you had finished yours." Quinn wanted to intervene and declare that it had been her who had noticed but she slapped the impulse done, and tried to be impressed with her friend's rocky ability to lie.

"You're very observant. Are you still okay for tomorrow night?"

"Yeah!" She said too quickly and a little too excited but it only seemed to cause Rachel's grin to widen while Brittney's cheeks flushed. "I'm looking forward to it." She attempted to say in a more even tone but the excitement was still clear as day.

"Me too."

"Is there any dress code?"

"Whatever you wear you'll be perfect." Quinn wished she could stop herself from listening, it felt like torture yet she couldn't help herself.

"I do have good legs."

"Yes you do. So I expect to see them." Rachel went on as she leaned in closer to the blonde all the while Quinn's stomach flipped with rage.

"If you play your cards right you might see more than just my legs." Quinn squeezed her eyes tightly and swallowed hard as a prickling sensation ran across her body it took all her will power not to take off running and create a Quinn sized hole in the wall. She hated the way her body was reacting and even more so because she was starting to understand it all. But she couldn't say it out loud; refused to even think it.

"By the way you might be able to answer this for me, who are the reckless? Some girls asked me if they'd be playing again are we to be replaced?" Rachel asked the table finally dragging her eyes away from Brittney.

"They were a band that played here but they broke up." Kurt explained as Finn's cheeks became rosy.

"So they won't be returning?" She continued her enquiry.

"I doubt it, but let's ask them, are you planning on playing again?" The question was directed at Quinn who glared at him.

"It was your band?" Rachel asked slightly taken back.

"Well me, puck, Finn and Emily. And no I think that's finished. Thanks to Finn."

"Why?"

Quinn opened her mouth to answer. "We agreed never to mention it!" The taller boy yelled and all eyes fell on him as he tried to compose himself.

"Artistic differences." Quinn said with a chuckle.

"Well I can't say I'm not glad. We enjoy playing here although I would have liked to have seen you play." Her eyes settled on Quinn as she said the last part and the blonde felt her skin flush under the gaze.

"They were pretty amazing!" Brittney gushed! "Emily was their lead singer but Quinn sang resistance by muse. The girls loved it!" Quinn wished her cheeks wouldn't glow but she could feel them flushing. She was usually laid back and unaffected by compliments (although she had trouble accepting them) or things that inflated her ego. But here with Rachel sitting in front of her she was making her body behave on its own accord.

"I thought you didn't sing?" Rachel asked kinking an eyebrow.

"Well I mostly just played keyboard, didn't want that education going to waste did I?" She laughed lightly hoping to tale the focus away from herself. She didn't know why she felt so uncomfortable with Rachel knowing things about her personally life; perhaps it was because it meant Rachel was becoming a friend and deep down that was the last thing Quinn wanted her to be.

"What the hell?" The abrupt words from Finn brought Quinn back as she looked up and saw Puck coming towards them limping with his hands clapped over his groin.

"Don't." He mumbled out as he sat down picking up Finn's beer and placing it between his legs.

"I didn't want that anyway." The tall man stated with a frown.

"What happened to you?" Quinn enquired with an amused expression.

"Turns out the drummer isn't single." Quinn frowned until she realised he was probably talking about Tina from Rachel's band.

"Her and Artie are involved." Rachel told him laughing.

"Why didn't you tell me that before I went over there!" He almost yelled but his voice was a little strangled.

"I assumed you were aware of their relationship."

"And me saying, I'm gonna go see if your drummer will bang me like she does those drums wasn't a clue that I didn't know?" He asked throwing his hands up.

"Ops my mistake." She said innocently and Quinn couldn't stop her heart from fluttering.

"Why are you holding yourself like that?" Santana asked as he pushed the bottle deeper into Puck's groin and Quinn was certain she saw fresh tears in his eyes.

"Dudes in the wheelchair." They all frowned at him. "Well he couldn't exactly reach my face."

"Oooo." Kurt and Finn grimaced as they held themselves empathising with Pucks pain.

"So he punched you in the nuts?" Santana laughed.

"Thanks for your fucking sympathy. The hot cup of coco is single right?" He asked Rachel, clearly learning his lesson this time.

"Yes Mercedes is unattached."

"You're already thinking about the next one while your balls are turning black?" Kurt questioned still holding himself.

"Hell yeah. I'm the man!" He exclaimed and was greeted with a high five from Finn who looked at Kurt sheepishly after.

"Boys." He mused.

"Oh they told me to tell you they're ready for you sugarcheeks." Rachel nodded to Puck and smiled. Quinn thought she'd be happy that Rachel was deserting the table so that she wouldn't have to avoid those haunting brown orbs. The problem was that now she would have to hear her sing, and those heavenly tones seemed to call to her. Rachel's voice was quickly becoming like a drug to her, and she wasn't sure if she had the energy to go cold turkey.

"Thank you Puck. I'll see you after." It was directed towards Brittney and Quinn's heart sank but it quickly jumped up into her throat when she saw what Rachel was wearing. The short diva stood up and Quinn could see what she was wearing or wasn't wearing as the case was. The green tank top was ripped across her midriff revealing her toned stomach causing memories to flood back to Quinn; how she'd ran her tongue over that flesh. Instead of her usual skirts tonight she had opted for black denim hot pants that just about covered her rear, chains hung from the belt hoops and Quinn had to stop herself from reaching out and pulling on them to force Rachel closer back to her. The fishnet tights she wore had holes ripped in them and the army boots just added that finishing touch. She looked different. Hot none the less. A sudden explosion of heat erupted in between Quinn's legs and her eyes darkened with desire. Rachel cast her a quick smirk and she wondered if the brunette was aware of the effect her outfit was having.

"Jesus. If my dick wasn't about to fall off it would be so hard right now." Puck's eyes drilling into Rachel's ass as she walked off. Santana hit him as she let out a low growl, obviously not a fan of the clothes Rachel was wearing or the body she was showing off. "Ow. I just meant that Brittney is fucking lucky. Bend her over the table for me!" He laughed and reached out for another high five from Finn but under the gaze of Kurt kept his hand down. "Dude you're leaving me hanging?"

"You're a pig." Kurt informed him as he kissed the side of Finn's face. Kurt turned to face the stage and Finn sneakily slapped the mohawked man's hand before he turned to the stage also and draped his arm round his boyfriend's shoulders.

"She looks amazing doesn't she?" Brittney said leaning over to Quinn and she heard the Latina scoff behind her.

"You're a lucky girl." Quinn answered sincerely. Brittney was lucky and it pained her.

"Hello again! We're happy to see you all again because we are the pretty little liars and we are here for your entertainment!" Rachel began and the band started to play. Quinn recognised the tune but she couldn't place it and a small frown appeared on her face while her fingers tapped the beat on the bottle.

"So hot

Out the box

Can we pick up the pace?

Turn it up,

Heat it up

I need to be entertained

Push the limit

Are you with it?

Baby, don't be afraid

I'ma hurt ya real good, baby."

Quinn suddenly felt as if the bar had turned the heating up to the limit. Usually her eyes would be focused purely on Rachel's face as she sang, watching the utter emotions playing out and the way her mouth handled each word with care and devotion. However tonight her gaze was on the way Rachel's body was moving, swaying, grinding to the beat.

"Oh, do you know what you got into?

Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?

'Cause it's about to get rough for you

I'm here for your entertainment."

Quinn crossed her legs trying to contain the growing dampness between her legs; however this action was a mistake. The motion caused a friction to ignite in her body and as Rachel's hand slid down and up the microphone stand Quinn's mouth watered. It was all becoming too much, watching Rachel was having a dangerous effect on her body.

"Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet

'Ya fallen angel swept ya off ya feet

Well I'm about to turn up the heat

I'm here for your entertainment."

Her legs were deceptionally long and the hot pants just showed them off perfectly and instantly Quinn was hit with flashbacks to their night together. The way Rachel had kissed her inner thighs sucking on her flesh before licking the dampness between her legs. How the brunette had kissed her afterwards and she tasted herself. Quinn bit down hard on her lip trying to will her ragged breathing to return to normal. Luckily everyone else's attention was on the stage and they had not noticed Quinn's odd behaviour. She cursed Rachel for causing this effect on her, making her heart hiccup within her chest. Quinn hadn't felt these raging emotions in so long she had almost forgotten that she could feel this passionately about anything. And silently she thanked the brunette diva for making her feel alive. But this thought was not to be uttered out loud; it was for her hearts knowledge only.

"Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet

'Ya fallen angel swept ya off your feet

Well I'm about to turn up the heat

I'm here for your entertainment."

During the entire last part Rachel's eyes had somehow landed on Quinn's and she knew she couldn't be there any longer. Not only could her body not handle the effect but her throbbing core couldn't either. It was too much, too much unexpected feelings that it was throwing her off balance and she could not risk anyone seeing her like that. She grabbed what was left of her lemonade and all but ran to the exit.

The evening air wasn't particularly cold but it felt nice against her melting flesh. Placing her drink down on an empty table she ran her hands through her hair with a heavy sigh. She was use to her protective walls, they made her feel safe and protected but Rachel was unintentionally knocking them down. She didn't give the girl consent to do it nor did she think Rachel was aware of her actions, considering she was now interested in Brittney. Quinn shut her eyes tightly trying to fight back the image of Rachel gazing at her roommate. Her stomach turned and she leaned forward trying to fight the uneasy feeling waving through her.

Pushing her hand into her pocket she pulled out her pack of cigarettes and popped one between her lips. It didn't ease her stress but it did give her something to focus on.

"You're an idiot." The voice behind her caused her to spin around and she saw Puck still holding himself.

"That was pleasant for you." She frowned at him while replying, confused by his outburst.

"I was going to call you a prick but I thought I'd be a gentleman. Why are you pushing her towards Britt?" He said taking a few steps forward and gingerly took a seat while Quinn looked down at him with a dark eyes.

"What are you talking about?" She questioned but behind her baffled look she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I'm talking about Rachel dumbass."

"Fuck you." She spat back taking a deep lungful of smoke. She leaned against the table showing her back to the male who was staring at her.

"Don't treat me like I have shit for brains for one second. I know that look you give her, I've fucking worn that look."

"You don't know what you're talking about." She told him simply but did not turn around and face him, scared he might see through her lies. Because Quinn was aware that what she was saying was the opposite to the truth, but once it all came out she couldn't take it back and she knew she wasn't strong enough to act on it. So she lied it was easier for everyone that way.

"You lot think that I'm just some dumb meat head. But I know what it means when you look at someone like that Quinn. So bullshit me all you want but don't lie to yourself." Quinn quickly bit down hard on her inner cheek trying to distract herself from the burning behind her eyes. When she was sure no tears were going to escape she turned to face him. There was a softness to his eyes that she had only seen once or twice before and she loved him a little bit more.

"Puck..." She tried to say something anything but her mouth had forgotten how to work.

"I get it. You got knocked down but you can't let that keep you down forever."

"Don't." Quinn warned him, she hated this topic it brought up to much pain and she couldn't handle it.

"I'm just telling you how it is. I know she hurt you but Sar-"

"Do not say her name." Quinn cut across him sharply and Puck held up his hands in defence.

"I'm sorry okay. But if you don't go for it she'll end up with Brittney and then that will be it." He told her with a deep frown.

"And they'll be happy and I'll be happy for them." Quinn finished for him although the idea caused a twinge to her heart. She wanted to be happy and surely that was the same as being happy.

"I just don't fucking get you kid." She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything because she knew he wasn't done. "You went to one of the best schools in the country. You play the piano like a goddess. You have enough money in the bank to set yourself up with your own place. And you have a chance to go for it with someone. But you struggle for cash teaching people to play and you're pushing someone away who could be good with you. You are so fucked up and I love you but you are gonna fucking drown soon." She stared at him hard as each word he said chipped away at her heart of stone. She wanted to cry but she wouldn't allow her weakness to be shown. He smiled at her weakly as if he could read her mind and he wanted to comfort her in some way. "I'd let you hit me in the nuts. But I honestly think it might fall off."

Quinn let a ghost of a smile play across her lips as she sat down next to Puck. They sat there in silence neither knowing what to say; tenderly he put his arm around her and pulled her in closer. Feeling the need for some type of comfort she placed her head on his shoulder and felt the silent support keep her holding on. Eventually Quinn finished her drink and said her goodbyes to the mohawked boy before deserting the bar alone. A dull ache seeped through her causing her shoulders to become heavy. Finally alone she allowed a single tear to roll down her cheeks. It was too fast; too confusing. Quickly she wiped the tear away and held her head high, she was fucking Quinn Fabrary; no girl got to her, she was above this. If she told herself enough surely it would be true.

"Hey Quinn?" She quickly sniffled and wiped at her eyes trying to erase all hints of tears. Turning around she saw Rachel jogging towards her. "Are you going?" She almost seemed embarrassed that she was asking such an obvious question.

"Yeah I've got early lessons." She shrugged, wanting to flee this interaction as soon as possible. With that said however she enjoyed this time when it was just her and Rachel, Quinn knew it was wrong but it made her inner creature vibrate with happiness. She popped her hands into her pocket's not trusting herself to not reach out and touch the singer in some way.

"I just wanted to say thank you." Rachel said with a half-smile and her eyes stayed train on Quinn's hazel orbs. The blonde frowned in confusion.

"For what?"

"For the drink." The shorter girl clarified. "I kind of thought you had something to do with it." Quinn opened her mouth to protest, to tell Rachel that it had in fact been all Brittney's doing. But she was starting to realise that Rachel had a way of looking straight through her lies and instead just shut her mouth and nodded. "Well that's all I wanted to say."

"Okay." Quinn replied. "I'll see you at Puck's?" The party was a few weeks away but Quinn thought it might be best to keep her distance from the brunette for a while, especially if she was having such difficultly controlling her wayward emotions.

"Yeah, see you there." Perhaps Rachel knew it as well; that being around each other was more difficult, more difficult than it should have been. So under the stars and the moon they seemed to share an unspoken promise to keep their distance. It was for the best Quinn told herself and she wondered if Rachel was telling herself the same thing.

Quinn nodded again and gave the girl a small smile, Rachel grinned back widely showing her white teeth. The blonde felt herself get hit instantly with the warmth radiating from her girl and she found it breath-taking. Quinn quickly turned away hating herself. Rachel was Brittney's now. They were just friends. Just friends. She kept repeating it to herself as she walked back to her car like a mantra. Eventually it would surely be the truth…


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Thank you all so much for your reviews as well as your alerts and everything, I'm so pleased you're all enjoying this story. I love reviews because it lets me know whats working and what isn't. Well I'm going to say sorry for the delay for chapter 7 now because I haven't even started it yet and I'm back to work tomorrow so I don't know when I'll have time :( but i really don't want to give this fic up because I'm really enjoying writing it. Thanks again for reading! As usual unbeta'd because i'm extremely lazy. Oh you'll either love this chapter or completely hate it! you've been warned :) x**

Quinn felt the door knob collide with her base of her spine as the girl pushed her back roughly. She hissed in pain but was quickly distracted when lips were firmly on hers, sucking and biting. The blonde's hands squeezed her sides pulling the other woman deeper. The girl's tongue drove into Quinn's mouth duelling with her own. It had been the same for the last two weeks. Quinn had taken random girls home, hoping they would screw away the emptiness she had been feeling. She rarely knew their names and she didn't want to, faceless exchanges were all she craved. Brittney and Rachel had been on a grand total of four dates and so Quinn found excuses to be out, to drink until she forgot. The brunette whose hands were groping her chest was a poor substitute but it was better than having to see or hear the happy couple. But they were all brunettes with brown eyes and she knew that Puck had noticed.

"Maybe we should go in." The words were breathed against Quinn's lips. "Don't want to give your neighbours a show do we."

Quinn tried to push her thoughts away as she kissed the girl back with as much desire as she was displaying towards her. Moving her hand to her pocket she pulled out her key and turned to open the door. The random girl didn't break the contact; her arms wrapped around Quinn from behind latching her lips on to Quinn's neck. Quinn moaned not because she felt excited but rather because she felt it was the appropriate thing to do. The door clicked open and Quinn pushed it open quickly. She was about to pull the girl in with her but the sight on the couch stopped her.

Brittney was sitting on the couch with Rachel straddling her lap clearly in a fiery embrace. The blonde had her top removed and Rachel's hands were roaming the bare flesh. Quinn felt as if she was going to pass out, she couldn't move, couldn't feel anything; the world had become very silent.

"Woah!" The surprised words from the girl with her brought the other three back to the reality of their situation.

"Oh god!" Rachel exclaimed jumping off the blonde as if she had just been caught by her parents.

"Quinn!" Brittney yelled but made no effort to cover herself, to be fair Quinn had seen her wearing less.

The pianist knew all eyes were on her but she wasn't sure if her mouth was working. "We-we were." And that was all she was able to get out.

"This isn't some kinky thing you had planned is it?" The girl asked and Quinn watched as Rachel glared at the girl, although for a brief second she thought there was an expression of pain in the singers brown eyes. Quinn wished it didn't but it gave the blonde a small rush. "Because I'm actually up for that." She finished and Quinn finally snapped out of her shock turning to face the girl with a knotted brow.

"No." She said firmly. "We're gonna go. Sorry." Quinn mumbled out the last part unable to meet the couple's eye. The creature inside her roared with agony and she tried to soothe it by pulling the girl through the living room, but it did nothing to calm her inner monster. As they got to the hallway Quinn drew the girl into a hungry kiss, trying to erase the image. The girl broke away from the kiss to trail hot kisses down her neck and Quinn couldn't stop herself from cocking her neck to hear what was being said in the next room.

"I should go." It was Rachel.

"You don't have to, she's gone now."

"No I should. We shouldn't rush this." The rest of the conversation was lost to Quinn but she faintly heard the front door shut, with that the girl recaptured her lips and Quinn tried her best to focus on moving her lips. Inside she could feel the monster finally quiet down as it retreated back to its cage and she hated herself. Because Quinn knew what she was feeling, she was brave enough to admit she was jealous. But perhaps she was just jealous because Rachel and Brittney could feel something she couldn't. At least that's what Quinn told herself even if the creature inside just laughed at her pathetic excuse.

In the struggle for dominance in the kiss they finally reached Quinn's room and the blonde at last thought she felt herself get into it after the blip in the living room. She was not thinking about Rachel, her brown eyes, her slim fingers, her warm mouth. Fuck! She screamed to herself and was taken off guard when the girl pushed her backwards until she fell back on the bed. Seductively the woman walked towards her as her long fingers travelled to the base of her t-shirt and Quinn licked her lips in anticipation. She wasn't Rachel, she wasn't even close but it was the next best thing and for this moment that was enough.

"Jesus! Fucking stop!" The strangled voice caused both girls to stop and Quinn jumped up running over to turn the light on. With the room illuminated the blonde could see Santana sitting in the corner of the room. "You were meant to turn the damn light on first and see me sitting here all fucking godfather like. Not give me a fucking live sex show!" The Latina explained while Quinn gazed at her bemused.

"That doesn't explain what the hell you are doing here!" Quinn yelled.

"I'll get to that. You. Get out." She said looking at the girl standing behind Quinn. "Me? Do you hear the way she's speaking to me?" Quinn just looked over her shoulder and shrugged, if the Latina wanted to talk to her she came first.

"It was fun. You know the way out." Quinn said as she faced her friend again and finally took in her appearance. She was wearing her training clothes but that wasn't what made the blonde's heart tighten but rather it was the redness around her eyes.

"Are you serious?" The girl went on and Quinn sighed.

"Look White trash, either you leave on your own or I will drag you out by your hair. It's your choice but I know what option I'd prefer." Santana told her with a warning smirk and Quinn had to fight back her smile. With a huff the girl stormed out and Quinn took a seat on her bed.

"Thanks for that. Not like I was getting any there." Quinn muttered sarcastically.

"I would apologise but we both know I wouldn't mean it." She shrugged and Quinn couldn't battle the chuckle.

"How did you get in here 007?"

"The front door. Not really bond. More like lack of security."

"So what do I owe this unexpected and unwanted visit?" Quinn asked running a hand through her hair.

"Did you see that in your living room?" The image she had been trying desperately to ignore came crashing back to her mind. The way their lips had moved together and Rachel's wandering hands, the familiar bile began to rise in her throat. She concentrated on keeping her face as neutral as possible, not wanting the brunette to see the conflict she was in.

"Yeah, so what?" She brushed off although it was everything she could do not to dry heave.

"So what?" She all but yelled standing up as she started to pace. "So what is that this wasn't meant to happen!"

"What B was meant to live a lonely pathetic life until you suddenly realised you want her?" Quinn replied sarcastically. She loved Santana but when it came to Kurt and Brittney she would protect them with her final breath.

"I do want her." Santana said in a quiet voice as she stopped and looked at Quinn. The pain was evident.

"Just not enough to give up your career." She saw the Latina's jaw tense and Quinn readied herself for the onslaught that was heading her way.

"I don't deserve her." The words were so quiet and unexpected that for a few moments Quinn thought she must have heard it wrong.

"What?" She needed to hear it again just to make sure the words that reached her ears were correct.

"I don't deserve her. I expected her to wait for me to get my shit together. That wasn't fair to her." Santana's shoulder were slumped and it was the opposite to the usual determined sports person she was accustomed too.

"So if you know this why are you just sitting here?" Quinn mused.

"Because I'm not brave enough; because I'm chicken shit that's why." She vented as she lay down on Quinn's bed and the blonde joined her. They stayed like that for a moment Quinn with her hands behind her head and Santana with hers resting on her taunt stomach. "You know this is your fault right?" The Latina finally spoke.

"How did you work that one out?"

"Because you brought her in to our lives." She stated turning to look at Quinn who frowned up at the ceiling.

"No I think that was Kurt." She corrected her friend.

"Yeah but you slept with her and pissed her off." The creases in Quinn's forehead deepened as she turned to face dark eyes.

"I'm not following."

"She's crazy about you."

"Rachel?" Quinn called out surprises and she couldn't ignore the butterflies that started to flap inside at Santana's assumption. The thought that Rachel still wanted her caused her to feel completely light headed and Quinn was glad they were laying down. "She isn't..." Her voice trailed off as she felt a strange warmth grip her heart tightly and she fought against the urge to smile.

"Oh my god, her eyes light up whenever she sees you, it's fucking disgusting. But you fucked her over and she met my lovely Brittney and now they're probably going to get married. And then they'll have this army of children who can all dance and sing and they'll be unstoppable." The more Santana went on the more her arms flailed around and Quinn laughed.

"There's a bottle of vodka your side of the bed. Drink it, you're damn depressing!" Santana did as she was told and winced as the liquor burned her throat.

"You want to know what's even more depressing about this whole thing?" The Latina asked pointing the bottle towards the blonde who nodded. "That you like the midget as well but you can't pull your head out of your ass long enough to see it." Quinn instantly opened her mouth to argue, telling the brunette she was wrong, that she had no feelings for Rachel. But she could see how broken her friend was and she had no intention of lying to her So she just shut her lips and looked up at the ceiling. "And you call me fucking pathetic. Here drink some of this. Just so you know though no matter how drunk you get me I'm not shagging you." Quinn couldn't help but laugh. When the pain got too much that's what made it bearable so she laughed with her friend until she thought she could never take another breath; and for the briefest moment she almost felt normal.

An hour later the bottle was empty and the duo were laying on the bed feeling extremely merry. The alcohol had filled up the empty feeling in the pit of Quinn's stomach. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to drown her sorrows, looking for answers in the bottom of a bottle but right now it felt like the best approach. So she'd downed mouthfuls of the sharp burning liquid passing it between herself and Santana just to feel like herself.

"You know…What I said before about not being drunk enough…" The Latina started before she hiccupped causing the blonde to laugh. "We should play them at their own game." Quinn frowned; confused by the other girls outburst.

"Play who? What game?"

"Brittney and Rachel, they're doing it so maybe we should." She couldn't stop herself and Quinn let out a laughter that erupted through her entire body. "What?"

"We'd kill each other." She managed to get out through her chuckling.

"It was just an idea." She shrugged and Quinn knotted her eyebrows as she considered what her friend was offering. Was she really contemplating having a bogus relationship with her friend just to make Rachel jealous? "You know I could make your bed rock."

"Is that so?" The blonde challenged with an arched eyebrow.

"Yes that's so, unless you don't think you could handle it." There was a low seductive tone to her voice that dared Quinn and she couldn't stop herself from rolling on top of Santana as she stared down at girl with a smirk on her face.

"So you still think I can't handle it?"

"Prove it." So Quinn did; as she lowered her mouth in one fluid motion to connect her own lips with Santana's; instantly tasting vodka. The kiss wasn't romantic or languished but rather it was rushed and sloppy. Their lips moved with no rhythm, simply crashing against each other fuelled by the alcohol and desire. Quinn ran her hands through the dark haired girl's flowing hair. "Ow shit." The other girl cried out as Quinn's ring got caught in her hair; she promptly tried to pull her head back.

"Wait. Hold still, Jesus San." Finally after much fiddling Quinn managed to remove the hair from her ring as she slipped the ring off and threw it to the floor. "Okay, jewellery free, let's go." Santana cleared her throat before nodding and leaned up to capture Quinn's lips in another hungry kiss. She didn't ask permission as she slipped her tongue into the blonde's mouth; Quinn massaged her own tongue against the other girl's. Santana flipped them over so that she was on top her hips in-between the blonde's legs and Quinn immediately felt the loss of control and flipped them back into their previous position as she felt the girl squirm beneath her. Quinn opened her eyes as they continued to kiss feeling salvia coated around her lips, a second later she saw brown eyes looking back at her. Promptly their kissing stopped and they pulled their lips apart. "This isn't working is it?"

"I hate being on the bottom." Santana complained as she pushed Quinn off her. "Argh, this should have been a match made in heaven."

The blonde laying beside her took a deep breath as she looked up at the ceiling. "Maybe your heart's just not in it." She mused as she heard Santana sigh next to her.

"Something tells me yours isn't even." This time it was Quinn's turn to sigh. "We're never mentioning this are we?" Quinn chuckled as she turned her head to look at the Latina.

"Not a soul. This would do nothing for my rep. If people found out I couldn't close the deal."

"Not a damn soul. We would have probably burnt the house to the ground with how hot it would have been anyway."

"Definitely." They laughed at the horror that was the brief exchange, and Quinn wasn't sure why but she wondered what Rachel was doing at that moment. If she was sleeping or if she was going over song lyrics. If the brunette was thinking about her the way she was thinking about her. Through the darkness that clouded her room she felt Santana's hand land on top of hers. She knew that it wasn't just a gesture to calm her own aching heart but one to calm her own as well.

Quinn could hear the party was in full swing as she pulled the car up to the house, the gravel drive crunched under her tyres. It was only half ten and the music was already blaring out from the building and she saw a naked man come running out of her front door followed by two other guys with razors. Quinn stared at them through her dirty window but she didn't recognise any of them and she shrugged. They were definitely going to be receiving at least one noise complaint but it would go with the other six that were in their kitchen draw. They were young and free, soon they would have to grow up and truly embrace adulthood; but for now she was happy to doggy paddle in her youth.

Grabbing the two shopping bags of alcohol that she'd just purchased Quinn entered her house only to be quickly engulfed by the huge mass of people inside. Slipping through the crowd filled room she looked at the people that she still didn't recognise and she found herself in the kitchen. Compared with the living room the kitchen looked practically deserted with only a handful of people occupying the space. As she approached the fridge to pop away the spirits and beers she'd brought Quinn noticed a particular brunette sitting on the work side swigging from a bottle. They caught each other's eye and held the contact for a few seconds before Quinn thought she was going to fall into brown orbs and drown. Quickly looking away she pulled the fridge door open; finding what little pace remained and loaded in her loot. Taking a can she pulled the ring and walked over to Rachel leaning against the counter.

"It's weird seeing you drink alcohol out of something other than a mug." Rachel smirked looking at the bottle then back to Quinn.

"Thought I'd live dangerously. Live on the edge for once." She chortled lightly.

"Be careful you don't fall of that edge." Quinn told her with a smile.

"You'll catch me." It was a bold statement and the power of it was not lost on Quinn who was once again locked on to those chocolate eyes. They were like her kryptonite and she slightly cursed Brittney for the Smallville marathon she was forced to watch in high school. Still the metaphor was true; Rachel made her feel weak and helpless; she was sure that if the brunette reached out and touched her she would fall to a million pieces.

Clearing her throat loudly Quinn scanned her surroundings. "Where is everyone?" She asked and she noted for a split second how Rachel's face fell before she plastered her trademark smile back on. Quinn envied Rachel in a way for being able to wear her heart on her sleeve.

"Erm I saw Santana and Puck in the living room about half an hour ago. And erm…Kurt, Mercedes, Britt and Finn are outside making snow angels." She explained while Quinn frowned thinking she must have misheard.

"Snow angels? It's the middle of summer." The blonde said as she leaned over the sink to look out into the back garden. Sure enough on the grass laying on their backs were her friends who were spearing their limbs out all clearly in fits of laughter. "Jesus what are they on?" She couldn't contain her own laughter as she watched their free behaviour.

"Kurt and Britt made special brownies." And just like that it all made sense. "Before you ask, nope there's none left. They consumed the entire lot." Quinn smiled up at Rachel as she took a sip of her drink. "We will just have to make do with the buzz from the alcohol."

"If that's the case, I say we break out the tequila." The blonde declared with a wide grin while the diva's face fell comically.

"No!"

"Yes!" She counter argued as she bent down and rummaged through the cupboard. "Ah ha!" Quinn yelled as she reappeared clasping a bottle and a satisfied grin.

"I can't. Last time I did tequila I dislocated my shoulder while belting out show tunes in the middle of Time's Square. Not my finest hour." Rachel recalled an embarrassed expression on her face and without thinking Quinn placed a reassuring hand on Rachel's knee. She felt the current pass up through her fingers as skin met skin and a shiver travelled up her spine making her feel light headed. However she didn't move her hand back. She watched as Rachel's eyes darted down to witness the contact, her bottom lip sucked in between her teeth. She looked up to meet Quinn's shining hazel orbs.

"We are nowhere near Time's Square. And I promise I won't let anything happen to you." Quinn meant it and she squeezed Rachel's knee to reinforce her pledge.

"You promise?" Rachel repeated and Quinn suddenly noted how close they were to each other. If she were to lean a mere 15 centimetres forward her lips would crash into Rachel's. For a split second she considered it, she was slowly starting to forget how the brunette tasted and the realisation hurt.

"Q!" They both snapped out of their moment as Puck came stumbling in. "Where have you been?"

"I told you I had to see Jamie tonight; I've only just got here." Quinn's eyes shifted to Rachel as the brunette eyed her suspiciously.

"Ah you should have brought Jamie along." Puck said as he threw his arm around the blonde's neck pulling her close; she could smell the alcohol thickly on his breath.

"I don't think so." Quinn replied. This was the last place she would ever want Jamie to be. Everything was complicated enough without adding another factor into the equation. Feeling the increasing need to breathe she pulled herself away from the muscled man.

"Rachel do you mind if I steal Quinn away from you?" He asked with a wide smile showing all his teeth.

"She doesn't belong to me." Rachel responded rather evenly toned and Quinn silently cursed Puck for ruining the moment that the duo were having. Against her feelings and her better judgement she adored her stolen moments with Rachel. Since the day she'd walked in on Rachel and Brittney on the couch it was all she could think about as if the image was perpetually burned into her brain. She ached with the knowledge that it wasn't her touching Rachel and it killed her, she loved Brittney and she wanted her friend to be happy but she couldn't stop herself being drawn to the brunette. It confused her because usually she would be able to switch her emotions off and pretend as if nothing affected her, but Rachel made all her defences useless. This all made Quinn feel like a teenager again, and her heart wasn't under her usual control.

"But you'd like her to be." Puck shot back with a challenging glint. Quinn stared at Rachel unable to stop a sudden feeling of hope rising up in her chest. Ever since her encounter with Puck outside Bar Nun she'd noticed the male watching her more closely when she spoke to Rachel. She couldn't help but wonder what else he had noted from his observations. The brunette's mouth opened and closed a few times, the male had clearly stumped her and Quinn smiled at the endearing action. "Come on Q I've got this hot piece of ass I want you to meet." Quinn was still watching a shocked diva while the blonde subconsciously shook her head. She knew why Puck was doing this he was trying to take her mind off the brunette, trying to take temptation away from her, but Quinn was a glutton for punishment. "What do you mean no? Why are you shaking your head? Did you not hear the words 'hot' and 'ass'?" He asked slightly bemused but a small smile played across his lips as his eyes shifted between the two females.

Looking up at him she grinned. "Yeah I heard you. But I think I'm going to hang out here with Rach for a while." His confused expression changed to understanding as he nodded his head knowingly.

"Right. No problem. More for me." They both watched him go before shyly looking at each other. It surprised Quinn every time how shy she became around Rachel; all her false bravado disappeared and she was just Quinn.

"So where were we?" Quinn asked rising a perfectly arched eyebrow.

"I believe you were saying how you wouldn't let anything happen to me."

"That's right." Quinn went on with a smirk pouring the tequila into two bigger than usual shot glasses. "You trust me?" Her tone became serious as her eyes connected with Rachel's. Something silent seemed to pass between them and Quinn chewed on her bottom lip.

Rachel nodded. "Against my better judgement. Yes."

"Bottoms up!" Clinking the glasses together and in one fluid motion the duo necked back the liquid so that it hit the back of throats. Quinn slammed hers down first. "Nice?" She stuttered out as her face scrunched up.

"Argh!" Rachel shuddered and quickly covered her mouth with the back of her hand probably to prevent the tequila coming back up. "No!" She exclaimed as she shook her head causing Quinn to laugh. "Do you have any lemon?" With a smile the blonde went to the fridge and rummaged through it in search of the fruit in question. She stood in front of Rachel a moment later with every fruit they owned…but no lemon.

"I've got pineapple." Quinn exclaimed and Rachel laughed hard lighting up her brown eyes before jumping down from the counter. Quinn couldn't help noticing the way the brunette's skirt rose when she did. Feeling like an extremely horny teenager her cheeks flushed and she looked away; the action had clearly not gone unnoticed by Rachel who eyed her suspiciously.

"A pineapple?"

"Kurt heard that it makes your spunk taste better." Quinn stated with a shrug.

"I didn't need to know that." Rachel chuckled. "Right, pineapple it is." The brunette nodded as she pulled out a knife from the rack by the sink. "Just so you're aware if I dislocate my shoulder again I'm holding you responsible." She pointed the cutlery at Quinn who put her hands up in mock defence.

"I said I'd look after you. Now stop stalling"

"Oh my." Rachel exclaimed loudly.

"Urgh!" They both complained an hour later as they sat at the kitchen table with the empty bottle sitting between them. "I thought the mango was bad." Rachel whined as she wiped her mouth with her face screwed up. The brunette ran her tongue along the roof of her mouth trying to brush the taste away and the blonde laughed at the sight. "But that was worse, why do you have passion fruit I would have thought you'd have enough passion in your life?"

"Oh you're funny." They laughed uncontrollable for almost five minutes. When it finally died down neither of them understood why they had found it so funny in the first place.

"Well the passionate fruit isn't actually mine its Brittney's…actually all of the fruit apart from the pineapple is hers. Me and Kurt aren't exactly the spokesmen for healthy living. Although we did have a veggie supreme pizza the other week." Quinn remembered with a satisfied nod of her head.

"I am almost certain the grease and layers of cheese cancel out the notion of healthy eating." The brunette shot back as she leaned forward in her chair, she noticed that she over pronouncing all of her words. "I think I'm drunk."

"Oh good, I thought I was the only one." Quinn whispered as though it was a secret and placed her hand on Rachel's forearm.

Rachel looked back at her with a smirk. "Was this your plan? Get me inebriated and make a move eh?"

Quinn looked down to her hand that was resting on Rachel's skin. "You think this is how I make my move? No way. You know when I'm making a move, there's no doubt." She wink and Rachel stuck the tip of her tongue out.

"Yeah I remember it really quite well."

The blonde remembered it as well and she could not fight the shy grin that placed itself on her face. "I'm actually usually a lot cooler than that."

"Cooler eh?" Rachel chuckled and like always Quinn found herself smiling at the sweet sound.

"I was so nervous."

"Sure you were." She retorted with a shake of her head.

"I was. It's more difficult talking to a girl you like." Quinn explained as she fidgeted with her hand.

"You like every girl." She wanted to argue, tell the brunette that wasn't true but instead she ducked her head down and removed her hand from Rachel's skin. Rachel leaned forward staring hard into hazel eyes. "You know, you have three gold flecks in your left eye." She said her observation aloud, and Quinn felt her cheeks flush slowly under the intense gaze.

"No one's ever noticed that before." Quinn admitted.

"Then no one has looked hard enough. There's so much going on behind them." Feeling bold Rachel reached out to tuck blonde hair behind her ear but hand lingered there and cupped her face.

"Behind my flecks?" Rachel smiled.

"No behind your eyes. I can see the cogs going round whenever we're together." Quinn could feel her heart beginning to pound and could hear the blood rushing around her body. "I wish you'd stop. It must be exhausting."

"I don't know what you mean." The blonde made to move away when she felt Rachel's fingers under her jaw lifting her gaze to meet brown eyes. Quinn felt exposed like whatever Rachel would ask of her she'd confess.

"You think that it's mysterious and sexy…but that's not what's sexy about you. The way you play piano is sexy, the way you arch your eyebrow is sexy and the way you care about Kurt and Britt is sexy. But the mystery is over rated." More than anything Quinn wanted to look away she wanted to look at anything other than the hypnotic chocolate eyes in front of her. She was scared about she might confess, she cleared her throat loudly and Rachel's eyes seemed to sadden. "You know I'm not that type of girl."

"What type?"

"I don't meet woman and sleep with them right off the bat. But I guess I thought you'd treat woman like you did that piano." Rachel's thumb traced the underside of Quinn's bottom lip and the blonde worried that it might tremble under the delicate touch.

"What do you mean?" She didn't understand the words that had been uttered from Rachel's full lips.

"You treated that piano with such care like each note was a secret love letter from your heart. Although I'd heard every song you played a hundred times before they all sounded different, pure and beautiful." Rachel's eyes showed the disappointment that she'd discovered after sleeping with the blonde and Quinn found herself wishing she could go back do it all differently. She wished that she was strong enough to go back in time and pass up on the gig all together and therefore never having slept with Rachel; but she couldn't wish for that. "I thought if you could treat a woman like that, you'd be something special."

"Sorry to disappoint." Quinn finally managed to pulled herself away from the brunette and looked back towards the living room that was still packed full of random people.

"You didn't." Rachel said quietly, barely above a whisper but Quinn heard it perfectly as though it had been shouted from the highest point. "Tell me something." With a deep sigh the taller girl turned her head to face the tanned beauty. "Anything."

Quinn bit the corner of her lips trying to keep her pile of secrets hidden away where they belonged, but looking into those painfully truthful eyes she could feel them slowly working their way up her throat. No matter how much she swallowed her truths fought against her and she was helpless to prevent them. "I…I…" She started trying to find her words.

"Please Quinn. What about that?" She asked reaching out and running her finger along the scar above Quinn's eyebrow. "Where's that from?" Just like that all her truth's fell back down through her and ran back to their vault.

"I hate tomatoes, I like pizza but I hate them. The way the juice inside kind of bursts when you bite into it. Ew." She emphasised this by pulling a face and Rachel shook her head. She understood Rachel's disappointment she'd thought for a brief moment that she was getting through to the blonde and in truth Quinn had thought the same. But she did what she always did when someone got too close; she blocked them off. Rachel's eyes began to glaze over and Quinn felt like the worst person in the world.

"There you are!" Both Rachel's and Quinn's head snapped up to see Brittney come skipping towards them. Naturally she wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders and brought their lips together in a quick kiss. Quinn looked away. "Hey are you alright?" Brittney asked as she obviously noticed the watery eyes of the brunette.

"Oh yeah, me and Quinn were just doing shots. It didn't go down the right way." She laughed as she explained and wiped away at her eyes before any tears could fall.

"How about you come with me and I'll find something that does go down the right way." Brittney flirted and this time it was Quinn who felt her eyes burn.

"On that note I'm going to find Puck, he mentioned some hot girls." Quinn slipped on her mask and smiled at the happy couple. She wanted to cry, she wanted to be sick and she wanted to scream to the heavens. But right now she just needed to get away from the brunette.

"Have fun." Rachel said and Quinn looked at her quickly and saw the slightest tremble on the shorter girls bottom lip. Quinn quickly walked away letting her feet carry her into the back garden which was only occupied by two people who were more interested in each other than her appearance. She leaned against the side of the house, her chest heaving and her eyes stinging. This was all too much, too hard; too close to the bone and Quinn felt like she was going to be crushed under the weight of it all then get blown away with the evening breeze. Clasping a hand tightly over her mouth she tried to fight against the tears that wanted to spill forth and confirm to the world she did in fact have feelings. Sliding down the wall Quinn placed her forehead against her knees that were pulled up. She was Brittney's now, she was Brittney's. Her shoulders shook as her eyes leaked and her truth escaped out for anyone to see.

Quinn slowly opened her eyes feeling the blinding light trying to burn her corneas. Her head instantly started to pound, and she immediately cursed herself for the amount of alcohol she consumed. Her mouth tasted like an ashtray and Quinn's tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth. The blonde remembered falling upon the couch in a drunken stumble even though her room was just down the hallway but it just seemed too far away at the time. The party had been quieting down and she'd spent most of the evening trying to avoid Rachel and Brittney. As her eyes had started to shut she remembered seeing Rachel leaning over her placing a blanket over her. Quinn had contemplated opening her eyes wider, perhaps pulling on the tanned girl's hand pulling her on top of her but she didn't. Then her heart practically stopped when the shorter girls bent over and ever so gently grazed her lips against Quinn's forehead and quietly said, "I wish I could hate you." It had been one of the most heart breaking moments she'd experienced in a long time; and although she was exhausted sleep didn't find her as easily after this. With that memory still burned into her mind she stretched out her body slightly and rapidly felt something was out of place, there was a weight on her thigh. Tentatively she looked down to see what the cause of the weight was, she could barely remember anything about the previous night, after the 7th shot with Rachel the night became a blur.

Then her heart stopped at the sight before her. There was a mess of brown hair sprawled out around her leg and a tanned face lay hidden facing towards her. Rachel was deep in sleep her chest rising up and down slowly. She looked so peaceful and beautiful that Quinn couldn't stop herself as she reached out towards her. Her fingers found Rachel's bangs and pushed them out of the girl's face, her heart was pounding inside her chest and Quinn thought she might cry at how beautiful the girl was. She looked like a sleeping angel and Quinn wished she could keep the brunette as her own. Feeling Rachel start to stir Quinn quickly retracted her digits and put her head back down not wishing for Rachel to witness her moment of weakness. She needed to be stronger than this; she had to be stronger for herself and for Brittney.

However Quinn needn't have bothered as a second later her phone rang out loudly from her pocket causing Rachel to jump. The shocked tired expression on the brunettes face was adorable. And Quinn smiled apologetically as she pointed to her phone. Rachel looked up at the blonde, suddenly realising their intimate position, with flushed cheeks the singer moved to sit up right.

"Hey Jamie." Quinn said into the phone with a hushed tone. "Ah no I'm not coming round today…Yeah I know we arranged that last week but that's why I came and saw you yesterday." She could feel Rachel's eyes on her as the brunette sat up on the couch running her hands through her hair. Even with her makeup hanging around her eyes and her hair a mess she still looked beautiful and Quinn hated herself for looking at the girl like this. She had no right to look at the girls full lips, had no right to imagine those lips against hers. "Well I could come round tomorrow, yeah we can get some dinner or something. Okay well have fun…yeah I love you too. Bye" The blonde could feel Rachel's questioning gaze upon her and knew that she should explain herself but she couldn't bring herself to open her mouth and instead held her head low. "Rachel…"

"Hey, you weren't there when I woke up." Both girls looked up to see Brittney walking towards them. The tall blonde was wearing a pair of hot pants and a tight white tank top. Quinn felt inadequate with her body at the sight of her roommate's body.

"Sorry I just passed out." Brittney popped herself down on the arm of chair and kissed the side of Rachel's head. "How you feeling?"

"Great."

"She has never suffered with hangovers, it's one of the things I hate most about her." Quinn laughed but quickly grabbed her head when it started to throb deeper.

"You want some painkillers?" The blonde offered and Quinn couldn't fight the guilt in the pit of her stomach, only a moment ago she had been thinking about kissing Rachel and her Brittney was being her sweet lovely self. It made Quinn ache.

"It's alright. I can get them…when I remember how to walk." Quinn sighed as she pulled the blanket around her tighter.

"My body hurts." Rachel whined as she stretched her arms out with a grimace.

"I think that's my fault." Brittney said she with a sly smirk, Rachel blushed and Quinn hid her discomfort. It was one thing to know they were sleeping together it was a whole other thing hearing about it.

"Hey, where did San go?" Brittney asked looked around at the few people who still remained, all still passed out in their living room.

"Um…I think I saw her go home with that red head." The blonde said as she watched Brittney's expression closely.

"Oh." Brittney said looking down before looking back up with a smile. Quinn could see it in Brittney's eyes that she still cared about the Latina, her eyes always sought out Santana in every room. But she understood her need to move on, she just wished that Santana could realise that she wanted Brittney just as much; that they were perfect for each other. Quinn watched as Rachel squeezed Brittney's hand and she wondered if Rachel was aware of the other two girl's feelings for each other as well. The nature of the situation wasn't lost on Quinn, she knew it was all completely messed up, but she couldn't fix her friends; no one could. Maybe this was how it was meant to go, Brittney and Rachel; maybe they were what the fates had planned all along. The notion didn't sit well in the pit of Quinn stomach as she pushed herself up and went to the kitchen in search of painkillers; to numb both her head as well as her heart.


	7. Chapter 7

*****I'm extremely sorry for the late update in this story. I know a lot of people will probably hate this chapter, but it's all needed. I also could really do with a beta to go through my spelling and grammar and get right of my English-ness. It would also help if they were a little pushy because I have the entire story mapped out I just get easily distracted by life. Any way I hope you enjoy this. It's not proof checked so for that I'm very sorry. I'm just a big ball of sorry! Thanks for everyone who reads this! It means a lot!*****

The bar was packed. Bodies were cramped together like sardines and Quinn watched them all shuffle past one another trying to find what little space was available. That was one of the many perks of knowing the owner; she always had somewhere she could sit. She had never once witnessed the bar this busy and that included single nights and the odd theme nights that had been held. The only difference tonight was that the Pretty Little Liars were playing; to say the place adored them would have been an understatement. Most of the audience were there to see Rachel and they watched her with such hunger and desire it almost made Quinn proud. She loved watching people staring at Rachel, singing along with her, smiling at her. She loved that people adored her. She found herself smiling just thinking about it.

Keeping her emotions in check was becoming a problem.

The band this evening had joined them at their table and Quinn couldn't stop herself from stealing sly glances at the singer even from where she stood at the bar. Ever since Puck's party she had felt a stronger pull towards the girl and it was getting harder and harder to pull away. And for perhaps the first time she was willing to admit to herself that her feelings went a little deeper. It was too scary deciding how deep they went, but she was happy with the baby step she had taken. What kept her away had been fear; she was brave enough to admit that. Now what kept her away was the way Brittney had her finger's interlocked with Rachel's.

She was waiting on the drinks she'd ordered when Mercedes came and stood beside her.

"It's crazy in here." Quinn said to fill the silence that threatened to overtake them. Although they did exchange conversation Quinn would actually describe them as friends. The girl always seemed to be wary of Quinn and she often caught Mercedes watching her closely.

"I know, I can barely move."

"What do you want?" She asked as she gestured to the bar with her head. Mercedes shook her head but Quinn held up her hand in protest. "Come on, I'm being served. You could be here all night and who will play if you're here."

"Well I don't want to deny our loyal audience." The diva chuckled. "Can I have a rum and coke?"

"Sure you can." Quinn motioned for the bartender and repeated Mercedes request. Subconsciously or rather automatically the blonde looked over to the table only to see Brittney lean over and kiss Rachel sweetly on the lips. As if the image burned her eyes she looked away quickly.

"Hurts huh?" The words snapped Quinn's attention to her right and the blonde raised her eyebrows curiously. "Rachel and Brittney."

"No. Why would it bother me?" Quinn replied with a shrug looking to see where their drinks were.

"Girl you can't fool me. You know the first night you two hooked up she rang me at stupid o'clock and wouldn't shut up about you...I tell you I heard stuff I shouldn't know." Quinn could feel her cheeks reddening; she couldn't even bring herself to ask what the other girl had heard. "She thought you were different."

"I didn't give her any indication-"

"Sometimes it's not about what you say." Mercedes noted with a nod of her head and it all added on to the guilt already circling around Quinn stomach. "She's amazing. I mean we don't say it to her facebecause it goes to that girls head but she is."

"I know that. That she's amazing I mean."

"And yet you blew it. So I'm gonna say this once, leave that girl be now because she deserves someone to treat her right." The woman said with a threatened glare that said that this was the last she had to say on the matter. Quinn tried to hold her gaze for as long as possible, informing the girl without words that she wouldn't be intimated. However feeling herself weaken under the gaze the blondes eyes slowly averted to the floor and Mercedes scoffed before walking off with her drink.

Quinn's head shot up and her mouth fell open to protest but no words came out. What was there to say? Sorry? I'll stay away from Rachel? I won't stay away from her? I won't stay away because I think I'm falling in- no she wouldn't say any of that. So instead she took her drinks and walked over to the table her head hung low and her eyes avoiding the disgustingly happy couple.

"Hey." She said as she slid into the empty seat and watched as Rachel removed herself from Brittney and moved to her own chair. The action caused Quinn to frown, why had she moved? Things had been slightly weird between them since Puck's birthday, as if they both consciously avoided having to be alone together and yet they always found themselves in close contact with the other. Quinn couldn't help herself from seeing deeper into it. But her heart would never apologise for reading in to every detail. It gave her some hope. Unfortunately that's all Puck's party had achieved it had given her heart hope and it clung to it desperately, remembering how close Rachel had been to her. Close enough to almost kiss. Until Brittney had come along and claimed the brunette.

Maybe they wouldn't last.

It could just be a fling.

Then what?

Quinn didn't need to think about that, the gleeful singing of the creature inside her told her exactly what would happen.

"So I saw you talking to the diva." Puck said bringing the blonde out of her thoughts, and she ripped her eyes away from the beautiful brunette.

"Yep." Quinn replied with a nod, she hoped he didn't enquire to what the conversation was about because she did not desire to revisit it.

"Did she mention me?" He asked as he scooted further on his seat.

Quinn couldn't help the small chuckle as she shook her head. "Why would she mention you?"

"You mean apart from my good looks?" She rolled her eyes as she subtly looked over to Rachel finding chocolate eyes staring back at her. Quickly she looked away focusing back on the boy. She couldn't be looking at the girl was Brittney. Her best friend was sitting right beside her. This was messed up.

"Yes apart from your apparent good looks."

"Because I've been laying the foundations, she's going to crack any day now and when she does...bow chica bow wow!" With a smirk he winked at the girl and Quinn laughed whole heartedly.

"How do you work that out?"

"Because we are the only two available straight people in this joint."

"So basic math?"

"One and one make fucking one."

"Wasn't that a spice girl song?" Brittney suddenly interrupted, managing to pull herself away from Rachel; Quinn took a large gulp of her drink.

Trying to avoid looking at Rachel was like trying to stop yourself looking at a total eclipse. You knew you shouldn't look directly at it because it might cause pain but you couldn't help it. A natural response. That's what gazing at Rachel was, a simple as breathing and impossible to stop.

"Shhh fucking hell puck!" Kurt's sharp words drew her eyes away from Rachel and she looked over to the baby faced boy with a frown. Quickly noticing that Quinn's eyes were on him, he smiled. Too widely in the blonde's opinion, she saw through him instantly. She watched as she eyes momentarily darted behind her and Quinn frowned before beginning to look in that direction.

"Quinn!" Whipping around she looked over to the mohawked boy who had shrieked her name.

"What?" She asked slightly irritated. She felt like she was missing out on something and she didn't know what was going on.

"Erm so erm did she mention me?" He asked his eyes looking completely panicked and she could feel her annoyance growing.

"Who? What are you talking about?"

"Mercedes?" Closing her eyes Quinn shook her head.

"No she didn't. Happy now? What is going on, you two are acting weird." With suspicious eyes she watched the two men shoot questioning looks to each other which one confirmed her suspicions.

"Nothing." Puck answered with an unconvincing shrug.

"You are paranoid." The pale man across from her chipped in with a tight smile. "I'm just going to check on the staff. Unless you think there is something else I'm doing and want to tail me?" He joked and Quinn couldn't help but smile. Maybe she was being paranoid, being around Rachel sometimes did that to her. It put all her emotions on high alert and she couldn't always control them.

"Maybe I'm gonna have to step up my game with that hot mama." Quinn turned her attention back to the table trying to ignore the nagging feeling and instead listened to Puck.

"I think calling her something other than hot mama would be an acceptable way to start." Rachel offer with a small smile.

"You mean like a hot cuppa coco?"

"Not quite what I meant." She rebuffed.

"Not sure that I know what you saying?" He frowned and Quinn smirked.

"I think what she's saying is you need to treat her with respect and that starts with you using her actually name." The blonde explained and Rachel nodded, Quinn noticed that Rachel was now refusing to look at her and it made her heart tighten. She wanted to reach out and cup that tanned cheek forcing the girl to make eye contact with her. She kept her hand tightly wrapped around her glass instead.

"Hey I'm just going to get a drink." Brittney promptly said as she almost jumped up.

Rachel and Quinn's eyes looked shocked by the blondes sudden movement, while Quinn was sure she saw Puck nod out the corner of her eyes. "Anybody want anything?" They all shook their heads; it was then that Quinn noticed that the dancers drink was actually full and frowned at woman's odd behaviour.

As the lean woman began to leave Quinn called. "Your drink isn't even...empty." She trailed off with pursed lips shaking her head.

"Girls." Puck just rolled his eyes at the blonde's retreat drawing her attention back. Rachel scooted over a seat and the confusion she was feeling vanished as she felt Rachel's bare arm brush against her own. It caused the hair over her body to stand on end and all thoughts disappeared from her mind and all she could focus on was the warmth coming from the girl's body as she sat dangerously close.

"What were you saying?" The blonde asked trying to bring the conversation back, not wishing anyone to notice how her body was acting on its own instincts.

"Call the drummer by her name." Puck clarified.

"Yeah exactly." Quinn nodded trying to recover. "That's the way I always play it." Beside her she heard the brunette scoff and Quinn turned her head with a quirked eyebrow. "Yes?"

"What?" Rachel replied innocently.

"You made a noise."

"I did not make a noise."

"You most definitely did make a noise."

"Fine I did make a noise I mean come on Quinn."

"And I repeat...yes?"

"That's not your approach; as I recall when you proceeded to hit on me you didn't even remember my name." Then she smirked, Rachel smirked at her and Quinn literally forgot how to breathe for a brief moment.

"I did not hit on you." Quinn corrected her.

"I think we've covered that you in fact did hit on me."

"And how did she manage to pull you fine ass?" Puck asked leaning forward, the blonde couldn't help but glare at him, at the way he had spoken about Rachel and she quickly had to shrug it off. The singer didn't belong to her; she had no right to be protective over her even though every inch of her skin ached to do so.

"She failed." Rachel stated and even though her words were directed to Puck Quinn felt those intense brown orbs on her, a delicate smile playing on her lips. Under the gaze Quinn felt her cheeks flush as a heat crept up from her neck and she thought it wouldn't be so bad to have those eyes on her for the rest of her life. If that was all she achieved out of her time on earth to make Rachel smile she'd believed she'd live a life worthwhile.

"Well she didn't fail seeing as she got you in the sack." The man pointed out as his eyes shifted between the two girls watching them curiously.

"No she failed to hit on me. She was terrible in fact. It was endearing. She was trying too hard. Like perhaps her game usually flowed unforced and for some reason it didn't with me." Quinn couldn't take her gaze off the shorter girl. She remembered that evening too clearly, she'd expected to use all her regular chat up lines and she'd sounded silly and uncool. But it had worked and she spent the night with the beautiful brunette, the girl's touch was still singed into her skin. Her fingerprints were forever marked on her flesh like a permanent reminder.

Puck's hearty laugh made Quinn frown. "You're losing you touch." He barked and Quinn slapped his bicep. She felt the sting to her ego but it didn't hurt as much as it usually would and she couldn't help but suspect that it had something to do with how close Rachel was to her at that moment.

"I'll have you know I haven't lost anything."

"Is that so?" He challenged and she saw Rachel rolled her eyes.

"I could pull any girl in this place. I'm almost positive I wouldn't even have to open my mouth." The brunette beside her shook her head and Quinn wanted to retract her statement, to prevent the cocky attitude. To somehow be better. But couldn't. She wasn't better and that was why Rachel deserved Brittney, someone who could make her happy. Could give her everything she needed and wanted. But her heart told her no. She could make her happy if only Quinn would give her a chance.

Quinn's emotions were a warring battle field.

Get down.

"Oh I sense a bet coming on." The male said with a half-smile as he scanned the bar for a target and Quinn found herself doing the same. That's when she noticed her two friends over by the entrance. And she noticed the girl with them.

Her heart forgot how to beat; or rather it felt such a chill that the cold had frozen her beating core to a stop.

"Quinn..." The boy beside began but his voice sounded muffled. As she collided with a body she realised that the reason for his quiet tone was due to the fact she was walking away from their table.

Kurt and Brittney were all but man handling the woman from the bar and Quinn watched as the dark haired girl put her hands up in defeat before turning and leaving. Instantly Quinn quickened her pace, everything seemed to be happening without her consent as if she was outside of her body watching her foolish self chase after the ghost from her past.

A firm hand grabbed Quinn's forearm before she forcibly shook it off not bothering to turn and see who the digits belonged to. All she could focus on was not losing the girl in the crowd as she left the busy bar. The blonde's stomach started to plummet as she lost the girl from her vision and she picked up her pace ignoring the calls of her name.

The warm evening air was like a slap on the face and Quinn took a deep breath as her eyes searched in a panic. As a group of girls to her left dispersed she caught the image of the black haired beauty. She seemed to be having an internal struggle as she'd take a step before stopping and then repeat it. Her shoulders lifted defiantly and she spun around. Quinn was frozen to the spot. Every sound ceased to exist, every person disappeared and it was just them two in the whole world. Quinn wanted to shout for everyone to come back. Don't leave her here alone with her past.

"Quinn." Her voice was like honey. But the blonde should have known better, what she really was was a perfectly polished red apple. Beautifully tempting but the consequences of taking a bite were not to be thought of. She was the being that made up Quinn's nightmares and as she looked into those crystal blue eyes she pitied herself she being so weak. 6 years had done nothing to damper the woman's attractiveness. Although Quinn noted quickly that it wasn't as natural as it once was. It seemed a little too forced now.

But that still didn't stop Quinn's eyes from tracing a line along the girls firm solid jaw traveling up to her thin smirking red lips, she took in her porcelain skin that still seemed flawless to the touch. Then Quinn's eyes locked on to those intense blue eyes and immediately felt like she was 16 again in her cheerleading outfit staring at the most wanted girl in school.

"Quinn?" She said again and the blonde suddenly realised the girl was standing right in front of her. In all her thoughts she had lost the concept of time and space.

"Sarah." It was barely a whisper and the name felt like a curse leaving her lips. There were so many questions she wanted to know. Why are you here? Where have you been for the last 6 years? Do you think of me? Do you regret breaking my heart? Have I messed you up the same way you've messed me up? Did you come to see me? But not one of those questions came out of Quinn's mouth. Instead she steadied herself, drew her shoulders back giving herself an extra inch or two on the girl and coolly slipped on her tough girl exterior. She was too strong to be broken. Her heart was too protected.

Never again.

As if sensing the shift Sarah reached out and ran her hand down Quinn's exposed arm. "You look good." Her body quickly betrayed her and left a trail of goose bumps in the wake of Sarah's path. She had to stop herself from physically shaking at the simple touch. It had been so long since she'd been close to the woman and yet at that moment it only felt like yesterday. Yet the goose bumps didn't burn through to her core like Rachel's touch did and the difference just added another question to growing number already swirling in Quinn's head.

"W-what are you doing here?" Quinn managed to get out once she regained the use of her mouth.

"Would you believe me if I said I came to see you?" The woman asked her voice low and seductive, as though she hadn't disappeared on the blonde, as though nothing had happened. She wouldn't allow the girl with the silver tongue to worm her way in.

"No." She replied simply trying to look anywhere but in the girl's eyes. Sarah chuckled and Quinn thought it sounded hallow and she wondered where the youthful laughter had gone.

"I've wanted to come. Here. But I knew Kurt owned it. I didn't think he'd be too happy to see me." Quinn didn't say anything, her mouth had gotten incredibly dry again and she wondered if she was losing her ability to actually speak. Her dry tongue licked the inside of her mouth trying desperately to get something to work; she swallowed thickly before shaking her head.

"So why now?" She forced out almost choking on her words.

"This isn't my first time here." She explained but she reached out and hooked her index finger under Quinn's chin drawing her hazel eyes upwards to meet her own. "I came here last year. I wanted to watch your band, see you play. Know what you'd done...but I couldn't move past the door, something stopped me."

"Could it have been shame?" Quinn replied defiantly staring right into the girl's eyes slowly allowing feeling to roll through her body again before she jerked her head back.

"Perhaps." She mumbled as her tongue poked out and moistened her bottom lip.

It was only then that Quinn noticed the other girl was too close; she had invaded the blonde's personal space without her knowledge or consent. One more step and their bodies would be flush against the other, breast to breast- hip to hip. A part of her toyed with the notion of having the girl that close again, almost daring Quinn to do it. But her heart's screams caused her feet to stay planted to the spot. Squeezing her eyes shut and creasing her forehead Quinn repeated her earlier question. "What are you doing here?"

She sighed. "I wanted to see the band play, some of my friends said they're really good. I was hoping maybe Kurt wouldn't be here." She answered with what Quinn hoped was honestly which was what she'd asked for but it still stung. What had she really been expecting?

"And I wanted to see you." It didn't feel like butterflies were racing through her stomach it felt like someone had struck her and she tentatively took a step back as though it had broken the spell she was under.

Quinn released a small puff her air, her face contorted with confusion. "You wanted to see me?" She didn't wait for Sarah to answer. "It's taken you 6 years." She didn't raise her voice but her words were laced with the hurt that still lingered on that issue.

"I wasn't sure you'd want to see." And although her words seemed insecure and nervous the half smile on her lips took away any sympathy Quinn might have felt for the girl. The blonde tried to hold on to this emotion, she didn't want Sarah to crawl under her skin because she wasn't sure she'd be able to refuse. That was the problem with first loves, they were forever.

"What would give you that idea?" She replied sarcastically, as she folded her arms across her chest, as though protecting the delicate organ within.

"Come on Quinn."

"What?"

"It's been years. I just wanted to see you." There was sadness to her voice and it pulled at the pieces of Quinn's heart. The blonde could feel the emotions running through her veins like a poison, the feelings she had once felt as though they had never been gone, never been destroyed. She knew it was an illusion. It wasn't real. Her heart physically twisted in on itself when Sarah reached out and touch her forearm. Quinn pulled back as though the contact burned.

"What were you expecting? A happy reunion?"

"No, but I thought maybe you'd be happy to see me."

"Well I'm not."

"Could have fooled me, you ran out here quick enough to find me." She replied cockily and Quinn could feel herself getting worked up, her flesh was tingling and not in the same way it did when she was in close proximity to Rachel. But she couldn't deny what the girl was saying so Quinn quickly averted her eyes. "See, you came running after me. Some things don't changes."

"I've changed. I'm not that cheerleader anymore."

"That's a shame I use to be a fan of those skirts, the way they showed just enough and never too much." The girl said in a sultry voice as she stalked closer to the girl and Quinn's stomach churned.

"That's not fair, don't do that Sarah." Quinn said shaking her head.

"What?" the woman asked innocently.

"Don't stand there and flirt with me as though we're still in high school."

"It was so much simpler wasn't it?" Quinn looked up with an arched eyebrow. "High school. Just us. We had the whole world in front of us."

"You broke mine."

"I was selfish."

"And cruel."

"And cruel. You're still just as beautiful."

"I said stop that."

"You know no one has ever come close to you. I've tried. People said it was first love, it goes away. But it was more than that, wasn't it?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"I didn't come here for the band tonight." Quinn's heart was slamming against her chest as though it was knocking out a Morse code screaming SOS at her. But she needed to hear this.

Was it for her ego?

Retribution for what the girl had done to her?

"Why?"

"I moved uptown and I was unpacking boxes and I found your letterman jacket. You remember giving me that?"

"Yes. It was after our second date. You took me to Vinny's pizza and you didn't bring a jacket." The memory came flooding back to her and the emotions she'd once felt for the girl were starting to overpower her anger.

"So you gave me yours. I knew I loved you in that second. It was that quick. One moment I was just a girl on a date. The next I was in love."

"Don't say anymore."

"I came here for you."

"Please." Quinn looked up from the floor and suddenly found that all her personal space had been taken over by the girl. Her lips were mere inches from hers and she contemplated closing the distance, just one more time. If she just leaned forward a few more-

"Quinn?" The sound of her name snapped her back giving them distance. She looked over her shoulder and saw Rachel standing there.

"Rach?" She almost wanted to shout thank you. She almost did. Then she started to worry, what had Rachel heard? What had she seen?

"We're about to go on." She stated staring hard at Quinn, there was something behind her eyes.

"Okay."

"Would you come in and watch. Please."

"Of course." Rachel didn't move she just stood there and Quinn frowned. "I'll be back in, give me a second." The brunette almost hesitated before she looked at Quinn and the taller girl nodded her head before Rachel turned and left. Quinn watched her.

"Oh I didn't realise."

"What?" She asked as she turned back around reluctantly looking away from the brunette's perfect form.

"You're taken."

"What?" Quinn felt like a parrot.

"The hot little brunette there."

"Eh, she's not, she's not my girlfriend. She's…not mine." Finally she managed to stutter out and she felt her checks start to flame.

"You sure?" Sarah's eyes narrowed.

"Positive actually." There was something about Sarah talking about Rachel that the blonde didn't like.

"Well then it's only a matter of time."

"What does that mean?"

"The way you two were looking at each other. There was so much-"

"We're friends."

"You sure?"

"Again I'm positive."

"No you're not." She challenged. "You had better get back before she comes out here and drags you in."

"Don't talk about her like you know her." Quinn shot back.

Sarah watched her before she rummaged through her bag and pulled her hand back out with something within her fingers. "Here." She extender her arm and held out what Quinn saw was a card. "It's my number. Take it."

Quinn debated just turning back around and go on with her life as though she had never seen the girl but instead she reached out and took it. "I won't call." She stated firmly.

"Maybe if that girl isn't interested you'll change your mind."

"We're just friends." Quinn tried to clarify.

"Course."

"We are."

"I'm agreeing."

"No you're being condescending."

"Call me. We can catch up. I've missed you. All of you." She said as she leaned forward in one fluid motion until her lips connected with Quinn's soft cheek. The contact burned, not like the good deep burning. More like painful my skin is melting pain.

Quinn didn't move she couldn't, so she had to stand there and wait until Sarah finally turned and walked back. Her eyes didn't follow her ass but instead she eyed the floor. When finally the feeling came back she began to head back towards the bar. Briefly she saw the swoosh of brown hair of a girl who quickly ran back into the bar. She knew that hair anywhere.

Rachel.

"Thank you." Quinn said as she walked up behind the girl who stood at the bar.

"For what?" The shiver that passed over her made Quinn smile, the thought that just her breath on Rachel's neck made her quiver; her heart skipped a beat.

"Saving me."

"Didn't look like you needed saving." The brunette had her arms folded over the bar as she stood rather ridged and Quinn frowned.

"Then why did you come out?" Rachel was being short with her (no pun intended) her tone was firm and it dawned on her that Rachel was pissed off…with her.

"Kurt said you were talking to your ex and that it would; and I quote '_be the biggest bloodiest train wreck this world has ever seen if anything happens between them two.'"_

"A little bit dramatic." Quinn mumbled.

"She's very pretty." Rachel said quietly .

"I guess."

"You guess? You were the one almost kissing her."

"Why did you come outside for me?" She needed an answer to this question. She needed it more than she needed anything else in that moment. To know why Rachel had begged her to come back inside the bar.

"They were worried about you." The reply was simple but not what Quinn wanted to hear.

"But they didn't come and get me. You did." Rachel was still leaning against the bar her knuckles that were holding the edge had become white. Quinn knew she should have kept her distance but she took a step nearer. They were so close now; she could smell the jasmine scent from Rachel's hair. It was intoxicating.

"What does it matter?" The singer's shoulders became solid and she held herself higher. Quinn realised her mistake in getting closer, it was ruining the calm that had started to settle between them. The firmer Rachel was back.

"It matters."

"But why?"

"Because any one of my friends could have come and got me but you did. Why?"

"You gutted that I ruined the moment?" Finally the brunette turned around to look at Quinn. They both had flats on and Quinn was enjoying their height difference. She loved the fact that even though Quinn had a few inches on Rachel the brunette never felt intimated by it.

"You gutted there was a moment to ruin?" Quinn smirked and Rachel scoffed.

"They sent me to get you. I didn't volunteer so don't flatter yourself there." She liked defiant Rachel, the way her eyes shined.

"You didn't have to though."

"We're going round in circles Quinn."

"Because you won't give me an honest answer."

"I am."

"Then why did you come out a second time."

"I didn't."

"Oh you did."

"I said I didn't."

"You did. I saw you. So why?"

"I don't know who you thought you saw but it wasn't me!" The brunette was getting more worked up, and Quinn tried to bite back her smile.

"Yes it was. Why?"

"Because I was jeal-"

"Because you were what?" Then it went silent, as silent as it could in the crowded bar, their chests were heaving from the anger and frustration radiating off the duo. Rachel's cheeks were flushed and they were now chest to chest. Quinn would have usually loved to revel in the feeling of their breasts touching but she was too busy searching brown orbs.

"Nothing." The shorter girl said as she looked down between them clearly realising herself how close they had become. But she was trapped between Quinn's strong body and the bar, the blonde watched as she tried to look for a retreat. Quinn didn't give her one.

"Just talk to me." She pleaded and not just with her words, her hands came up and rested on Rachel's hips. The brunette took a sharp intake of breath at the action and Quinn's heart grinned. She hoped that the bar was so packed that her table of friends wouldn't see them. That Brittney wouldn't see them.

"It's not going to change anything."

"Why not?"

"I know nothing about you, not really. And yet here I am."

"You know me." Quinn urged, she felt like Rachel did, like Rachel was under her skin. She might not know the big things, the life changing events of her life, but she knew every look and every movement and what it meant. That meant something…right?

"Really? I mean yes, I know you went to one of the best colleges in the world! And you seem to have money you don't use. You've been friends with Kurt and Brittney for years, oh and you were in glee and a cheerleader. But I want to know you Quinn and I hate that. I wish…I wish that…" Rachel's hands came and rested upon Quinn's.

"What do you wish?"

"A million things but that's all they are. Wishes." Instead of leaning forward and kissing her like Quinn hoped she would Rachel gripped her fingers around the blonde's hands and removed them from her. Then with a sigh she pushed Quinn back and slipped out from her confined space.

"Wait." Quinn quickly said racking her brain for something, anything to get the girl to stay. She grabbed Rachel's hand in both of hers. "Our band. Remember we said they broke up. Well Finn was dating our lead singer, they'd been together for ages. So one night she came to our rehearsals early and instead of finding an empty space to practice. You found Kurt on his knee's giving Finn a BJ. She was mortified. Dumped him right then. Quit the band and that was that." Quinn smiled at the end, she'd rushed the story and felt like she'd missed out the finesse the story needed. But she'd wanted to tell Rachel something, something that showed she could open up.

"You missed the point Quinn." She shook her head and Quinn frowned confused.

"You wanted to know about me. I'm telling you stuff. I thought that's what you wanted."

"I wanted to know about you. Not about Finn and Kurt. This is too much and I don't even know what this is." Rachel breathed out as she looked at Quinn square in the eyes.

As she stood in front of Rachel she noticed the girl's soft jaw line, her full natural lips as she gnawed on her juicy bottom lip nervously. The blonde eyed the girls tanned skin that looked soft in the bars gentle light, but she couldn't help notice the little scar on her check or the couple of little beauty spot that made her face much more individual. And then as she lifted her gaze she was drawn into the pure openness of Rachel's chocolate eyes. She could hide nothing behind her brown orbs, they were an invitation for the world to see her soul and she made no effort to push anyone away.

It hit Quinn like a tidal wave; it crushed her body and took away all her power to draw another breath. All these feelings that had been building come to the surface, they escaped their cage and attacked her heart. How had she not seen it, how had she managed to keep these emotions so well hidden? Her eyes caressed Rachel's face and she watched as she girl shook her head defeated before turning around to leave.

"Rachel..." Quinn called finding her voice, the girl watching with relief as Rachel looked back with an expectant smile. The hope seemed to be shining off her, and Quinn wanted her words to only lift that smile.

"Yes?"

"...have a good show." Were the words that left her lips and Quinn's heart crumpled in disappointed.

While inside a quieter voice said _'I love you.'_

Rachel's eye's glazed over and her bottom lip shook, just once but Quinn saw it before she sharply turned away to head behind the curtain to the backstage. The blonde stood their feeling foolish and looked down at her hands that had touched Rachel. They felt warm and tingly, like energy was buzzing through them. The black ink on her wrist caught her eye and she stared at it. The letters shone back at her like a reminder of her past, but they held something else in their font. Her future.

Before she could register what her feet were doing they were taking her to the curtain where Rachel had vanished only a second ago. She wasn't sure what she was going to say except she was going to explain her tattoo, the meaning behind it and tell her, the biggest secret. That she had fallen for her. Her heart's pieces had slowly somehow mended and Quinn knew that Rachel had something to do with it. She didn't care about Mercedes. And… Brittney would forgive her for this. She had to. Because Quinn couldn't stop herself. It was too late to stop. She just hoped that Brittney could forgive her for what she was about to do.

"Rach…Rach. You're okay. You'll be okay."

"I'm so stupid. So very stupid."

Quinn could hear the voices behind the curtain and stood close to a small gap peeking inside. And just like that, her heart that had just repaired ripped apart its stitches and burst. Rachel was sitting in a chair her head on Mercedes chest as the girl hugged her. She'd done that. Rachel was crying and it had been Quinn doing.

"No baby girl. It's that Quinn who's stupid, not you. Don't you ever ever think it's you."

"I kept thinking she'll wake up and see it."

"That girl is so far repressed, that she can't see nothing."

Quinn wanted to move, she really did. She tried to tell her feet to take her away so she couldn't hear the girl's sobs they were too painful.

"Rach you need to forget about her."

"I can't I've tried."

"You have a wonderful girl out there who thinks you are amazing." That only seemed to make Rachel cry harder. It made her heart ache.

"I know. I'm no better than Quinn. I like her. Brittney, she's so happy and she instantly makes my bad moods lift. She makes my heart shine."

"That's usually a good thing."

"Quinn sets my heart on fire."

"You need to forget Quinn and focus on Brittney. That girl could set on you fire as well but you are so zoned on that idiot out there you can't see it."

"I guess you're right."

"I am right."

Quinn couldn't hear any more, her heart couldn't take another word. She couldn't deal with the fact she had hurt Rachel. She couldn't cope with the idea of Rachel trying to make a go of it with Brittney. She flat out couldn't breathe. She collided with people as she tried to scurry away, pushing them as she moved needing to get away, far away. The way to the exit was so crowded that Quinn took a right and veered into Kurt's office shutting the door behind her.

She slammed her body against the door and buried her head into her hands before sliding down to the floor. When she brought her hands away she saw the moisture, the collection of tears held in her palm. It felt like a long time since she'd cried. In fact it had been a long time. Quinn rarely cried, she hadn't cried at the Notebook ('_you're heart is made of stone!_') she hadn't cried when they'd gone and watched Marley and Me ('_Have you had your tear ducts removed?_'). It wasn't that it didn't affect Quinn, it did, a lot of things pulled at her heart strings but she figured she'd gone through so much pain in her past that nothing really hurt as much. Until now.

What had she expected? That she'd push the curtain back, Rachel would have turned around in surprise while Quinn approached her confidently. The brunette would have opened her mouth to speak but Quinn would have silenced her, wrapping her arms around Rachel. Telling the gorgeous singer _'I'm in love with you'_ before crashing their lips together in a kiss that put every kiss in the history of the world to shame. _Idiot_! She said as her shoulder's shook as more tears fell and she wasn't even brave enough to try and stop them.

Seriously!

They'd have kissed her and Brittney would have hugged them both and said she was happy for them and everything would be perfect. She was delusional. She couldn't even say those three little words out loud so how did she expect to say them to Rachel? She wasn't even sure that she was capable of a '_relationship_'. Quinn knew the truth about herself. She was broken, not like everyone else who could accept love. Quinn had learned a long time ago that love didn't make you strong or brave it made you scared. It gave the world carnivorous teeth that were ready at any moment to rip away chucks of your life. She decided a long time ago that she would never allow anyone to have that power over her again. And yet she wanted nothing more than to let Rachel into her extremely damaged heart.

How could she do this to Brittney. She was happy with Rachel. So what if she was miserable, Brittney had been her best friend for years. They'd been through so much together…

"Hello again, if you don't know who we are by now then where have you been!" It was always Rachel who introduced them; always. But tonight over the crowd and through the door it was Mercedes voice that floated to her ears. "We always start with a big fast song. But our lovely lead singer has been writing her own songs. And we were wondering if anyone here would like to hear one?" The crowd let out an almighty cheer and Quinn smiled at the reaction. "Okay I'll take that as a yes! Let me hand it over! Go on girl. Let it out!"

The music started up. But Rachel still didn't speak, didn't say thank you for the introduction like she might usually have done.

'_Face to face and heart to heart  
we're so close, yet so far apart  
I close my eyes I look away  
that's just because I'm not okay'_

Quinn heard the voice so clearly as though Rachel was singing in this very room with her. Every word felt like a blow to her heart and she found herself getting to her feet. Opening the door she looked around the bar seeing everyone standing their eyes transfixed on the female on stage. She was completely hypnotising. Her voice sounded like heaven. It had been that voice that had drawn her to Rachel in the first place. Her singing had floated it's way into her heart.

_'Will we ever say the words we're feeling  
reach down underneath and tear down all the walls  
will we ever have a happy ending  
or will we forever only be pretending  
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending'_

But Rachel wasn't the same on stage, she wasn't radiating that usual energy that spread through the entire room touching everybody within the space. She looked smaller and defeated. Her eyes were red that was clear even from across the bar. Quinn knew it was her own doing. By being weak and scared she'd caused Rachel to break.

Was she singing about them?

It did seem to fit. And the thought just made it even harder to listen to the song.

'_Keeping secrets safe  
every move we make  
seems like no one's letting go  
and it's such a shame  
cause if you feel the same  
how am I supposed to know._'

Rachel's eyes landed on hers and offered her a moment to look inside, to show Quinn everything that she was feeling. It was beautiful and truthful and it caused another stray tear to escape Quinn's eye.

Yet she lowered her head and walked towards the exit. She didn't want to see inside Rachel, she didn't want to see the emotions that she was unable to give her even though they all bubbled beneath the surface. So she walked. She walked out of the bar and away from the girl she had accidently fallen in love with. Because the truth was it was easier. Painful but easier.

Quinn sat in their garden with a half bottle of Jack Daniels beside her. The winter air was starting to make its presence known as she sat in jeans and a jumper a few sizes too big. Her knees were drawn up and her chin rested upon her knee cap. The house was quite and most people in their neighbourhood had probably gone to bed at this hour. Kurt and Brittney had gone to bar Nunn while Quinn had made her excuses and stayed home.

Sitting there with the bottle beside her Quinn was reminded of the first time she had tried the whiskey. It had been a cold night and her feet had taken her to Central park while her cold fingers gripped the bottle she'd stolen from her parents alcohol cabinet. Not that they would have noticed. Taking a seat on the park bence she undid the bottle and took a mouthfull. Her face instantly contorted in disgust as the liquid burned a path down her throat to the stomach. Quinn had stared at the bottle in her hand before again raising it to her lips and knocking back another gulp. It was still painful but she welcomed the stinging, even enjoyed the feeling. It felt nice just to feel something. When Brittney and kurt had found her an hour later she was half away through the bottle. They muttered that people were worried about her, but all Quinn did was shrug and offer them alcohol. Sitting either side of her they helped her finish the drink and never once asked how she was. They didn't need to, they knew she was broken so they simply sat there until the cold reached their cores giving their damaged friend silent support. The duo had kept her together, stopped her from drowning. When the rest of the world had disappeared on her they had remained constant. She shook the memory away hating being reminded of the pain.

As a weak breeze rattled past her she wrapped her arms more tightly around her curled up limbs, before talking a mouthful of the burning liquor. It sent a pleasant warmth through her body as she set the tumbler down. She hadn't been to the bar in over two weeks; she couldn't bring herself to look at Rachel let alone talk to her. All the warning signs had been there but she has foolishly ignored them thinking they would go away. Instead they had only intensified and now they were screaming inside of her trying to claw their way out. Her emotions cried out in pain and shouted crippling hurtful words. Blaming Quinn for not admitted what she really felt for Rachel. Love. In defeat she lowered her head until her forehead touched her knee.

Now she was stuck. She couldn't go to the bar because she couldn't face the brunette and when Brittney brought her back Quinn had to make her excuses to leave or be out of the house. So here she sat alone. Drinking trying to numb the excruciating pain of Love. She had always avoided it, ran from it, pushed it away or destroyed it. Now here it was refusing to leave, tormenting her hourly. She deserved this. She wasn't worthy of someone like Rachel, someone so pure and joyful. And  
how could she do that Brittney? How could she hurt one half of the reason she was still standing. She wouldn't do it. Quinn had ignored the cries of longing from her heart for this long she would just have to move on. She hoped that eventually their wails of pain would dull down, perhaps join the rest of the hurt she locked away in the hidden crevasse of her heart.

"You know drinking alone is the first sign you've got a problem." The voice startled Quinn and she spun around to face the sound. Santana stood behind her with raised eyebrows and pursed lips. "Want some company?" She offered holding up a bottle of Southern Comfort in one hand a glass in the other.

Quinn extended her leg and kicked the chair out in front of her. "Take a pew." The brunette took the seat and quickly poured herself a drink before downing the contents instantly. "You might as well drink it straight from the bottle." Quinn noted as she watched the girls face scrunch up briefly only to shake her distaste away, pouring another glass.

"That's not very ladylike." Came the reply as she filled the tumbler again this time only taking a sip.

"Ladylike isn't really a term I'd use to describe you."

"What term would you use to describe me? Sexy? Hot? Incredible? Amazing?-"

"Delusional?" Quinn mumbled into her drink.

"Delusionally hot."

The blonde frowned. "Do you think adding the word hot to the end of it doesn't make it an insult?"

"Wow the pole up your ass is riding high tonight."

"Sorry."

"No you're not."

"No. I'm not." It felt like too much work to be preppy and happy.

They lapsed into silence as they both continued drinking the alcohol of their choosing. Quinn looked over to the Latina and noticed the slouched shoulders, the lack of makeup, the way she gripped her glass too tightly...something was off. Quinn had two options although really all she wanted to do was sit and drink alone with her thoughts torturing her. She could either sit and wait for Santana to tell her what was wrong; which might not happen at all or she could just ask which might result in getting verbally abused. Neither option sounded very appealing.

"Where were you tonight?"

Quinn shrugged. "Didn't fancy it."

"Don't think I can remember the last time you missed a Tuesday night."

"Last November. I had the flu." Santana just nodded, Quinn was sure she could feel the awkwardness of their conversation, it radiated off them.

"Did you have any lesson's today?"

"A few. You been training?"

"Yep."

This was excruciating Quinn thought as she brought her head back down to her knee with a thud.

"It's starting to get cold."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"Did you come round to talk about the weather?"

"No." She grumbled.

"Brittney's not here by the way." Perhaps that was why the woman had come round to accidently bump into her blonde roommate.

"I'm aware of where she is." Santana snapped.

"That tracking device still working?" She used most of her energy to joke however Santana didn't even smile. "Why are you here then?"

"Well fuck you very much."

"I'm just asking."

"Can't I just come see my friend?"

"You could but that's not why you're here. Is it?"

Santana didn't say anything she just emptied the contents of her glass and put it back on the table. Her index finger worked its way around the circular rim like she was hypnotised by it. Quinn could only watch.

"That's it." She finally said but it was so quiet Quinn struggled to hear the two words.

"What's it?"

"The diva and the dancer." She scoffed. "Sounds like a cheap b-movie porno." Quinn continued to frown, completely lost in the Latina's jagged thoughts. "It's official. So I'm drinking to celebrate."

"San you're gonna have to use your words and make sense because I've got no clue what you're talking about."

"Rachel and Brit. They're together. As in offical. As in all hope is now riding off on its fucking horse in shitty fairy tale fashion." This time Santana didn't use the glass she grabbed the bottled by its neck and chugged down several mouthfuls. But Quinn couldn't move, it felt like some unknown force was slowly creeping through her body leaving her motionless. Her eyes were fixated on Santana's throat as she swallowed her poison, she watched as her throat moved up and down not stopping and that was all she could see. All that existed.

Then the motioned stopped and she could hear her name. Like someone far away was calling her, but she couldn't focus.

Official?

Rachel.

Brittney.

Rachel and Brittney.

The flood gates opened and the creature screamed in agony to the heavens. Everything started to happen so quick that Quinn had to act quickly to keep up.

Eyes don't water.

Lips don't move.

Heart don't break.

Please. Please Be strong.

Quinn didn't understand why he was hurting so much. She knew they were together. Perhaps it was because she thought somewhere in the back of her mind it wouldn't last. That Rachel would be single and...what Quinn?

She'd be mine.

"For fuck sake!" The bellow shocked the piano player and she suddenly realised she was outside. With Santana. Who had a single tear rolling down her tanned cheek. "Don't you have anything to say?" Quinn unhugged her legs and planted her feet on the floor as she tried to remove her tongue from the roof of her mouth.

"What do you want me to say?" She managed to ask blandly.

"Jesus. What you feel? Stop being a damn robot!" Quinn could only stare surprised at the Latina's outburst. Whereas Quinn kept her feelings buried as far as they could go Santana's sat at the surface for everyone to see. She wasn't that cool collected - bitchy athlete. She was a girl slowly cracking apart and Quinn had a front row seat to it.

"You had your shot with her." The blonde muttered, the words felt cruel and she hated herself for them. But she wanted to avoid those accusing eyes on her.

A cold laugh left Santana's lips. "Yeah. So did you." Her words were venomous and they clung to Quinn's flesh rotting through to her heart. "You walk the walk but it's all crap. You're all crap."

"S I know you're hurting bec-"

"Of course I'm fucking hurting but at least I can man up and admit it. I'm not some sad pathetic loser who pushes everything away."

The blonde's jaw set and she stared hard at the other woman, wishing nothing more than for her mouth to shut. She wanted the words to stop tumbling from Santana's mouth, they were only fuelling the beast inside her; giving it more anger.

"I don't have to listen to this."

"Oh right, do what you do best. Run away. Go on then."

"Stop throwing your pain on to me." It sounded a lot more like begging which had not been want Quinn wanted.

"I'm not throwing shit on you; I'm just telling you how it is. If you'd just had one brave bone in your body. It would be you and it would be me. Not them."

"Except it wouldn't because as we've pointed out on multiply occasions. You can't do it because of your precocious career."

"Don't you dare mock me right now Q."

"Or what? You gonna prove me wrong." The Latina was staring back at her with so much anger that Quinn worried the girl was going to luge for her. But Quinn didn't care; if she could deal it out the woman had to learn to take it as well. "Oh wait you can't because I'm telling the truth."

"Shut up!"

"No. Because Rachel has nothing to do with you and Britt. It was your choice not to be with her."

"That's not how it happened and you know it."

"Oh right you couldn't be open. It still boils down to the same thing. It was your choice. You couldn't give her what she needed and now she's found someone else."

"Don't pretend like you're not bother by this." Santana spat out as she kicked her chair back and stood up, her back to Quinn.

"It's nothing to do with me."

"That's not what I said."

"She likes her." Quinn admitted keeping her chin high.

"You love her." The reply came as Santana turned to face the girl, staring straight into her.

"I-"

"Don't fucking do that. Don't lie to me. You do. You know you are. You know you love her."

"It's not that simple." She muttered to the floor.

"No you see it is. Love is simple, the songs and the stories and the poems make it complicated. But love is simple. Its hearts, soul and flesh. It's everything."

"Then why not just go for it with Britt?"

"Argh!" She groaned in frustration as she took her seat again, then grabbed the bottle and downed some more not even flinching any more. "We're not talking about me!"

"Actually we are."

"No we're talking about you and the fact you want that little hobbit."

"Don't call her that." Quinn warned.

"See!" Santana exclaimed pointing at the blonde in triumph.

"What?"

"She's a leprechaun."

"I said don't."

"Kinda reminds me of Rupaul."

"Don't."

"Her hands are extremely manly. Not attractive at-"

"Stop saying shit about her just stop!" Quinn shouted and Santana just sat opposite smugly.

"What?"

"You love her."

"What would you know?" She wanted to refute the claim but she found that the words wouldn't leave her mouth so instead she skirted around it.

"You know I didn't even notice and then puck said-"

"You spoke to Puck? Fuck who else has he told?"

"Told what?"

"Nothing."

"Look for what it's worth I don't think he's told anyone else. But as soon as he said it, well it was damn obvious. You stare at her. Not like looking in her general direction you out and out stare. I don't even think you blink sometimes."

Quinn shook her head and filled up her glass. "Whatever. Doesn't matter now does it."

"It always matters." She was instantly reminded of her conversation with Rachel and it made her ache.

"She's Brittney's and even if I wanted to and I'm not saying I do. I wouldn't come between that. Would you?"

"Yep."

"No you wouldn't." Santana dropped her head in defeat. "You wouldn't do anything that would hurt Britt, you love that girl too much."

"This is all your fault you know. Have I mentioned that before?"

"Yeah you might have once or twice."

"So what do we do now?"

"I don't know. Move on I guess."

"How does that work then?"

"I think it just fades. Like when I saw Sarah I thought I was going to explode with old feelings for her but instead..." She thought back to how she'd walked back into the bar to Rachel and instantly she forgot all about her ex. It was like nothing in the world matter except for the brunette singer.

"Instead?"

"A part of me will always love her. She was my first but it wasn't the same. One day it won't be the same."

They sat in silence both consuming their drinks for a few moments and Quinn hated herself for letting images of Rachel flood her mind. That was now all she could think about, those brown eyes, that angelic voice, those long legs, her innocent heart...fuck.

"I know!" Santana suddenly shouted startling Quinn.

"Know what?"

"Let's go out."

"Now?"

"No not now you look like shit."

"Good because you're a hot mess."

"Thanks."

"Again just because I put hot in that sentence doesn't make it a compliment."

"Whatever. We're gonna go out and be dirty dirty sluts."

"Do we have to?"

"When was the last time you had sex?"

Quinn frowned and shrugged trying to wreck her brain remembering the last time...well there had been...and that one..."I don't know. Who keeps track?"

"You did. You use to sleep with woman like I down shots. You had sex like other people breathe."

"Maybe I'm growing up."

"Maybe you only want one person."

"Don't start."

"Then let's go out next week and have mindless, mindless filthy sex."

"How filthy?"

"Like foot fetish."

"Urge. No I hate people touching my feet."

"Fine then just whips and chains. It doesn't matter. I need this. I need someone."

"San..."

"Please. I just don't want to feel like this."

"It won't be the same. Trust."

"Is that why you haven't slept with someone since...well you would have slept with that girl if I hadn't been in your room that night." It wasn't condescending or joking. Santana seemed genuinely concerned and Quinn realised how much this friendship meant to her. They could fight say harsh words but in the blink of an eye it was back to normal without either having to apologise.

"I'm pathetic." Quinn admitted.

"You know you still haven't said it out loud."

"Said what?"

"That you love her."

"When I say it then it's real. I can't say it because then I have to face what it means."

"That's messed up."

"Tell me about it."

"Let's drink! Right now it's just me and you."

"You're not gonna try and have terrible...terrible sex with me?"

"God no. That was awful."

"We'll be alright."

"Course. Or we'll be bitter old ladies with hundreds of cats."

"Cheers to that." Quinn said lifting her glass and Santana smiled before clinking it against her bottle.

"Cheers. Let's get shit faced!"

Quinn shut the bedroom quietly not wanting to walk the girl up who had passed out on her bed. Santana had gone on to finish her own bottle before drinking what remained of Quinn's. However she needn't have bothered being quiet because as she padded down the hallway to the kitchen the front door opened and the sound of voices and giggles filled the bungalow. Her stomach lurched at the laughter.

Rachel's laughter.

She stopped briefly wondering if she could just turn back around and head to her room. No one being none the wiser about her presence. But with a deep sigh she walked on.

"Quinn!" Kurt shrieked but her eyes only found the interlocking fingers of Rachel and Brittney. "You missed a great night." He said as he fell on the couch beside Finn who's eyes were half shut.

"My girlfriend brought the house down." It was said in a casual manner but the word girlfriend rang loudly in Quinn's ears. And she fidgeted on the spot glancing back down the hall to her bedroom wondering if it was too late to make a break for it.

"Don't I always." Rachel smiled. A full white smile that was almost blinding. She looked happy and Quinn wondered why it hurt so much.

Because you're not the one making her smile.

"Where were you tonight?"

"San came round. She's a little worse for wear so she's sleeping it off in my room." She explained her eyes finding the floor. The floor was a safe place to look, it didn't hold any fear.

"I didn't think she was drinking tonight." Kurt mused as he ran his fingers through his sleeping boyfriends hair.

"She wasn't, remember she said she had training tomorrow with her new coach and she wanted to be in top form." Brittney explained as though she was the only one who was listening to the Latina. More than likely hanging on her every word. Quinn noted to herself that she'd set an alarm early to wake the brunette in her bed. "Is she alright?" Brittney asked concerned.

"Yeah, she's fine. I'm just gonna get her some water and then I'm gonna get some sleep." Quinn didn't wait for a response and walked over into the kitchen. Looking through the cupboard for a glass. She had been foolish to think she could handle seeing them together. She didn't know how long she could keep it up. The idea of finding new friends and leaving the state started to float through her head.

"You heard then." Quinn didn't need to look to know that it was Rachel.

"Heard what?" She asked as she turned on the tap and filled the glass.

"Me and Brittney."

"What about you?"

She heard the sigh but didn't look back. "We're a couple now."

"Haven't you always been a couple?" She shot back and stupidly she turned around to face the girl.

Rachel was leaning against one of the kitchen chairs and hands resting behind her. Looking gorgeous. Just plain gorgeous. "Not exclusively."

"And now you are." Quinn nodded.

"Yes. Now we are."

"Well I'm happy for you. Both of you."

"No you're not."

Quinn frowned. "Of course I am."

She looked over her shoulder before focusing back on Quinn. "You're jealous."

The blonde smirked at Rachel, loving her confidence, loving the way her eyes were challenging Quinn: she just loved her. "Really? How do you work that out?"

"When she said the word girlfriend you literally stopped. Stopped moving, stopped breathing. You stopped."

"And that means I'm jealous?"

"It means something." There was nothing behind her tone now. Just honesty and Quinn felt exposed.

"I should get to sleep. And you should- you should get back to your girlfriend." Quinn said as she began to walk back to her room. Needing to be anywhere but here.

"She still loves Santana. I know it. She knows it. This isn't love."

"But it could be?" She meant it to be a statement, was that her window of hope?

"Perhaps. Or perhaps we're both clinging to something. To someone while we wait."

She didn't want to ask bit she did. "For what?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me." The sound of Quinn's swallow echoed through the room. "One day this could be love between me and Brittney. It could be epic love."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because something in me wants to tell you everything. I don't know why and I can't stop it."

"You deserve epic Rachel."

"Why are you telling me that?"

"Because something in me just wants you to be happy."

She didn't say anything. There was nothing else to say, so she just walked towards her room. Towards a broken heart that matched her own. And she left the cure to her brokenness standing in her kitchen.


	8. Chapter 8

**Firstly I just want to say a big huge massive thank you to my rather lovely Beta Missy! Who on top of being a top class girl is also a bit of a bully! So here's the next chapter. Thanks for everyone who is reading this still and to everyone who comments! Thank you! x**

Quinn was glad to have the day free; her head was pounding and her stomach churned from the consumption of alcohol the previous night. Since Rachel and Brittney became official Quinn had tried to ignore them, staying in instead of going out. Even trying other bars. For the first week it had been fine, her absent hadn't really been noted. She would make sure that she was vacant from the house when Brittney brought Rachel round. Quinn started to wonder if Rachel even had her own home she was round theirs so much. Then the questions started from her friends, Puck and Santana gave her knowing looks and she had no excuses. Santana declared that it wasn't fair that she had to endure their company and Quinn did not. With her plan exposed she'd had to succumb to the painful truth and spend time with her friends and Rachel.

To be fair to the brunette she wasn't overly coupley with the blonde and Quinn was thankful for this. She wasn't sure she could take it now that she had realised the depth of her feelings for Rachel. But she also encountered this new braveness to Rachel; the shorter girl did not avoid Quinn's eyes, in fact half the time she sought them out. She would stare at Quinn openly while she sang on stage, or she would smile from across the table at the blonde. It was painful. Looking into those eyes that would look away from hers to the blue of Brittney's. But Quinn would bite her tongue, on more than one occasion drawing blood, and she'd drink. She would drink glass after glass, spirit after spirit just wishing that it would numb her hurt. Each time she saw Rachel she thought it couldn't possible get any worse, it couldn't be any more painful and then she'd be proven wrong. It was like Groundhog's Day except not like the funny comedy starring Bill Murray...this was reliving the moment her heart ripped open.

The previous night had been no different. And when she'd seen Rachel wink at Brittney while singing it had all been too much and she'd dragged Santana to the bar for shots. She'd lost could after the 6th and then the night became black. Not just blurry but completely blank. Quinn preferred it that way.

She ran her tongue over her teeth, trying desperately to get moisture into her mouth. It tasted like an ashtray and felt like one as well. She needed water, feeling like she couldn't even swallow.

Grabbing her phone she decided to go to the kitchen. With one eye still tired and refusing to open she squinted with the other and began to flick through the messages she'd received while sleeping.

You must feel like shit this morning! I dont think there's any booze left in the city! Puck

I think I'm dying. Think it's your fault. I hate you. Santana

Think I'm gonna hire you as an exotic dancer. Way to work a pole! Kurt

A pole? When had she- then the memory hit her, she remembered swinging around the pole of the dance floor before starting to undo-NO! Quickly Quinn shut the recollection down. She had no desire to relive that embarrassing moment. Alcohol was evil! Stupid and evil! Why hadn't her memory simply stayed black?

"Oh god!" Quinn stopped, she hadn't said that, both her eyes snapped opened and they were assaulted by the morning light. "Yes, please don't stop!"

That definitely wasn't her speaking. Where was that coming from? With a lowered brow she followed the voices down the hallway. Then she could hear panting, the heavy breathing. Was someone watching porn? She chuckled as she rounded the corner and peeked into the living room. The TV was off but the moans were definitely coming from this room, she scanned the space and didn't see anything. If it wasn't the TV then it had to be-

"God Rach, harder!"

Oh sweet mother of pearl!

Quinn jumped backwards pressing her back hard against the hallway wall, as though if she presses hard enough she'd disappear into it. Sure she figured the duo had sex, although she hoped they didn't. However hearing it like a live porn show was something completely different. Her heart twisted and shook with jealousy.

Maybe she could set the smoke alarm off! That would stop them.

The idea of Brittney touching Rachel, her fingers tracing paths that she had once taken made Quinn feel sick. Her stomach was aching and she put her hand to her mouth trying to hold it back. Had Britt found that spot behind Rachel's ear that made her tremble? Did she know how kissing Rachel's inner thigh made her squirm with arousal? Was the taste of Rachel just as intoxicating to Brittney as it was to her?

Quinn doubled over putting her head almost between her knees. It was too much listening to Brittnay's breathless pleas. This was like a new form of torture. Her imagination burned brightly. Her mind, showing her images of what they could be doing right around that corner, the positions they could be in. Oh Lord!

How could Rachel do that to her? Claim to have feelings for her and then be in Quinn's living room fucking someone else! Letting someone else touch her intimate areas, tasting someone else's core.

She wanted to scream out! 'It's me you want!' but she didn't, she couldn't move because Rachel wasn't hers to touch. She couldn't blame Rachel. She couldn't do that, it wasn't fair. Rachel had tried, she had seen the girl trying, felt the girl trying. But Quinn did what she was best at. She ran. She ran until her legs ached and lungs burned. And now she was suffering the consequences.

She'd lived through worse she repeatedly told herself as she reminded herself to breath. It was like the couple's ragged breathes and pleas for more were sucking all the air in the house.

"I'm co-I'm coming! Fuck!" Brittney suddenly exclaimed. And it took everything to not remember the brunette's talented tongue and resilient fingers. How they had made Quinn's body ache with a need and want she had never experienced. Quinn's body had been on desire, craving more of the brunette wanting her inside her, over her. Everywhere as long as she was touching her. Afterwards her body had been completely spent and she'd actually fallen asleep. Only for maybe half an hour but it had been a first. Usually she would have her clothes on in a flash saying thanks before disappearing through the door. It wasn't particularly nice but Quinn made it clear that it was never anything more.

With Rachel it had all been accidentally different. The brunette was only meant to be another girl. If she could go back in time and do it all differently but heck she...wouldn't. Since that night with Rachel she'd contemplated this idea daily. Wondering if she could take the night back, would she and each time the answer was always the same. No. She wouldn't let go of the memories from that night she wouldn't give up the way Rachel made her body feel when the brunette was around her. She wouldn't even give up the agony that it regularly caused. Because it was better than anything else, it proved that she was still alive and she couldn't imagine existing without it.

"Oh god that was-I don't think I can feel my legs." Quinn winced when she heard Brittney's voice followed by Rachel's gentle laugh.

"You're welcome."

"Well now it's your turn!"

Hell no!

It was one thing hearing Rachel being the one touching Brittney but to hear it the other way around. She wanted to vomit. Quinn was possessive. It was a quality she hated in herself, and she could feel the jealousy of Rachel being touched by Brittney raging inside.

She had to run. She had to escape this.

Thinking quick she ran forward to the first door she could find. Trying to shut it as quietly and quickly as possible.

Bathroom?

She couldn't hide in here! She couldn't stay in here, there wasn't enough space between them. There wasn't enough space in the whole world at that moment. Then she looked over to the window. It seemed to shine like a beacon, leading her towards it.

Without a second thought Quinn stood up on the toilet and began to shimmy her way out of the window. It was a tight fit and Quinn was sure that she was losing some of the skin on her thighs as she finally managed to get herself free. However her foot got caught and she hit the floor outside with a thud.

"Shit." She exclaimed, laying there with her eyes closed in pain, glad no one was there to witness her fall.

"Quinn!" At the sound of her name she lifted her head to see the last thing she imagined to see by the side of her house.

Kurt was on his knees in front of Finn who was clearly struggling to put himself away in his boxers. Quinn frowned and cocked her head to the side letting the image run through her head until she understood what was happening. Why was Kurt on his...Why were Finn's jeans around his ankles why were-WAIT!

"Oh erm I just got stung by a...bee and Kurt was just you know inspecting it. Because I was stung." Finn mumbled as he reached down and pulled his trousers up. Quinn just continued to frown.

"On your penis?" Quinn asked as she finally began to pull herself up while she rubbed her lower back. It was aching from her sudden fall from the window, she didn't realise it was that high.

"Yeah it somehow managed to get into my jeans and..."

"And Kurt had to be on his knees?" Quinn was fighting back a chuckle as she watched the tall boy try and explain himself as he tripped over his words making up a story. She knew exactly what was going on. Kurt however was standing beside his boyfriend mirroring Quinn trying to stop his own laughter.

"Well he had to be close so that he could-"

"Babe she's winding you up. She knows what we were doing. Why must you toy with this boy?" He said as he ran a hand up Finn's arm while shooting Quinn a warning look which the blonde only smirked at.

"It's fun."

"Wait why are you climbing or rather falling out our bathroom window?"

"Because, well it's a funny story...hold on, why are you two out here anyway. If I'm not mistaken you have a very acceptable bed. Unless this is you two being experimental? Doing it outside keeping the fire alive."

"Funny. Actually we went out for breakfast and when we came back we found Britt and Rachel going at it in the front room so we had to do it out here!"

"Exactly! Hence why I'm climbing or falling out the window." Quinn explained as though it was the most obvious answer.

"Why didn't you just go to your bedroom?" The shorter boy shot back with a raised eyebrow. Quinn didn't care for his probing gaze.

"I panicked! It was the first door I found!" She was thankful that they only had a one floor apartment, with her terrible dismount Quinn wasn't sure she'd have survived if the bathroom had been on the second floor.

"So what you gonna do now?" Kurt asked running his eyes up and down the girl's clothing and she too looked down at herself. She was still wearing her bright orange short shorts and a white wife beater. She hadn't even run a brush through her hair and she'd passed out last night before removing her make up. It was a blessing that it wasn't particularly cold, the summer was fighting against autumn still and Quinn was thankful otherwise she might have frozen. She really hadn't thought her retreat out properly. There was really nowhere for her to go. She couldn't go and have a coffee and wait for Brittney and Rachel to finish having se- no she couldn't even finish that thought. It hurt too much.

So instead she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I'm gonna have to go to my music room..." Subconsciously her eyes shifted down to watch the tall boy fidget with his crouch uncomfortably. "And I'm gonna go now because Finn's jeans look like they're gonna burst." He looked down at the bulge and instantly blushed. Brightly. "Big boy." she said with an exaggerated wink.

"I know." Kurt grinned cheekily.

"Well done."

"Thanks." Kurt smirked.

"Hey I'm right here." The other boy said throwing his hands up in the air. "

"Sorry I'm gonna go in my shed so you two can just crack on. I'll pretend I didn't see a thing. Mums the word!" She said backing up while miming zipping her lips shut. Before she turned around she gave the boys a thumbs up and disappeared around the corner of their building.

Was everyone having sex but her? Her head screamed as she looked to the heavens as though expecting an answer. When one didn't come she lowered her head shaking it as she walked to her safe place.

The one place in the entire world where everything always did and always would make sense. The blonde girl hoped that once she entered those four walls and her fingers glided along the keys of black and white, that together made notes that when all strung together caused beautiful music; then her mind would finally be clear. There would be no Rachel. No Brittney. No Rachel and Brittney. No pain. No confusion. Just her and music. A million melodies. Each one different. And yet at the same time just the same. Every tune was born from a place of passion, a place of love or pain or a million other emotions. But they came from somewhere pure and that's why Quinn loved music. Why she loved playing. And that's why when she entered her music study her mind would go blank.

No Rachel.

Inside she sat at her red cushioned seat and her fingers glided over the keys without playing them. This was the closest to a home as she'd ever been. It was her anchor. Her friend. Her family.

The notes floated through the air before she even realised she was playing it. As always, it was the same song, she remembered learning this song in the lounge when she was 13. Loving the melody and the words, it was a heart breakingly beautiful song. Quinn didn't understand why she always played it, it hurt with every note that filtered into her ears but she didn't stop. Not until she pressed the final keys. Then she sat there.

Rachel's voice would sound lovely on this song.

Damn. Five minutes. She'd managed five minutes to not think about Rachel and it felt like an accomplishment. But at the same time she enjoyed sharing this space with Rachel even if she hadn't invited the girl inside. Even if it was just imaginary Rachel. Because in here it was just she and Rachel and the music and it felt perfect.

She imagines Rachel singing along to the tunes she played. Chuckling at Quinn's song collection, demanding Broadway songs which Quinn would argue against before eventually caving. She's allowed Rachel to share one song with her but it was enough. She needed some time alone so she pushed thoughts of the brunette away.

Needing the distraction she began to play again and this time she sang along with the tune.

'It's her hair and her eyes today

That just simply take me away

And the feeling that I'm falling further in love

Makes me shiver but in a good way

All the times I have sat and stared

As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair

And she purses her lips, bats her eyes as she plays,

With me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say

Coz I love her with all that I am.'

As soon as she finished that song she didn't pause before she began another song.

'All this time I felt so lost, lost and needed help.

Incomplete, out of reach, alone all by myself.

It all becomes so clear, when I see your face.

And it's only when you're near, I feel I'm safe.

So before we take this road,

before you change my mind, and fill my heart with hope,

help me to believe this time.

I've been torn apart,

desperately tryin' to find a way back to my heart, so I can love again.'

Another she told herself. Another song. A different song. Any song but different. Her fingers still over the keys for only a moment, just a smile hesitation and then they played again.

'I've hardly been outside my room in days,

'cause I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays.

The darkness helped until the whiskey wore away,

And it was then I realized the conscience never fades.

When you're young you have this image of your life:

That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife.

And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross,

And if you happen to you wake completely lost.'

Her fingers found a new tune each time and each song reminded her of brown eyes, wavy hair, toned legs.

Of Rachel.

Then again and again she changed to another melody trying to escape her, trying to run from the reminder of the short singer until finally her fingers stilled upon the keys. They ached. Her digits physically trembled from the constant movement. This was meant to be a safe place from the world. It was just a place for Quinn and the melodies. Nobody else was allowed in here unless she sanctioned them access. And yet there Rachel was. Everywhere. All over her. It was deafening and Quinn wondered how the girl had managed to get through the walls.

But she realised it was because Rachel was music, it consumed her like it consumed Quinn. That's why she'd managed to penetrate her one safe hide out. She was becoming such a part of Quinn that she couldn't associate where she ended and where Rachel began. She didn't even belong to the blonde and already she couldn't image the brunette not in her life. It was frustrating. She was Brittney's and that was that. No maybes. No buts. She needed out of her music room.

She wasn't safe in there anymore. She needed air.

It felt like she'd been playing for hours and when she glanced to the clock on Kurt's desk and saw that two hours had passed. Surely it was safe to head back indoors now. She had expected the horny duo by the side of the house to tell her the coast was clear.

Surely they were done.

Feeling the need for air growing stronger she got up and walked outside into the afternoon air. She had thought she'd be safe in her haven; Rachel had just found every possible nook and cranny and dug her way in. She'd played song after song and they'd all had Rachel rippling through them.

Maybe being outside was better. Fresh air. She took a big lungful and then Quinn fell back in the hammock and it swung rapidly at her sudden presence. Then Quinn just laid there swinging back and forth. Her hands were interlocked behind her head as she stared up at the clouds making shapes.

A bunny smoking a pipe.

An elephant with two trunks.

Tom Cruise.

Just as instantly as the images appeared in the clouds they were gone again, swept away as the world turned. In that moment Quinn had never felt so completely insignificant. As though the earth opened up and swallowed her whole she'd have made no impact on the world. She would have left no hand print that said she'd been here, she'd existed.

Quinn wished Rachel was beside her. Maybe tell the blonde that she'd made an impact on her. She wished that Rachel was there.

She picked up her phone that was laying on her stomach and called someone. Someone who she knew would notice her absence. Quinn needed it.

The ringing in her ear caused her heart to tighten and she hoped that it wouldn't go to voicemail. It would be an ironic twist of fate. And then she heard the voice that lit up her day. The only other sound that ever came close to making her this happy was the sound of Rachel, her singing, her talking and her laughing. But the hello on the other end of the phone sent a smile to her face that nothing could ruin.

Jamie.

"Hey there...no nothing much, just relaxing thought I'd give you a call." She said as she picked at the fraying edges of her pyjama top. "How you doing?...really? You're terrible, must be all that natural charm you've got, the girls can't stay away." She laughed and she felt some of the weight lift from her shoulders. "...course we're still meeting tomorrow...I don't mind, where ever you want to go...oh alright I'll let you get back. I'll call you later...bye, bye." And that was all she needed. With a deep breath she placed her phone on her chest and closed her eyes inhaling deeply.

"Are you actually going to call that girl?" Quinn knew that voice. It was slowly becoming such a part of her being that it intertwined with her own inner voice.

Rachel.

"You say you don't do relationships but you seem to see this girl a lot." Quinn propped herself up on her elbows and looked over to the back door of the house. There stood Rachel leaning against the frame her eyes transfixed on the blonde. "And she clearly likes you. And us girls who fawn over you won't be waiting around forever for that call." Rachel stood there for almost a minute as if waiting for the other girl to say something. But all words were caught in Quinn's throat. Then just as quickly as she had appeared Rachel turned and left, leaving Quinn alone.

The brunette's words hung heavily in the air and they made it hard to do the simple act of breathing. What was she doing? Why hadn't she told Rachel about her and Jamie? Why hadn't her mouth worked dammit? Had Rachel just said she was waiting for her? Had she meant it? Was that why Rachel had stood so long after speaking? Had she wanted Quinn to reply, say wait for me? That she could be the person Rachel needed soon. She could love Rachel the way she deserved to be loved. All she needed was for Rachel to wait.

Being around Rachel was like being a teenager again when you had your first crush. Against better judgement you look into everything deeper, every touch, every laughter, every conversation. Deconstructing every little word wondering what it could have meant until you end up exploding. Rachel made Quinn feel young, like first love young, to a time when it wasn't just painful it was excruciating and when it wasn't simply joyful it was bliss. When a fight meant the end of world and when a chaste kiss on the lips stole your heart. That's what this was. Quinn was 14 again. Losing all her words in Rachel's brown eyes. And she had never felt more helpless in her life. She wished she could stop. But she couldn't. It was pointless to even try.

Quinn looked down at the wet patches on her top and then back tithe sky with a frown. Was it raining? The sky was still a crystal blue.

She was crying. Again.

Something had broken within her and now it seemed as if her tears simply flowed through her just like her blood. She didn't want to be weak; she wanted to be the strong young woman her parents had raised her to be. But she knew now that sometimes being strong meant knowing when it was okay to give in. She lowered her head into her hands and began to cry. Her shoulder's shook and she tried to hold back her sob. This hurt more than she thought was possible. She could hear the disappointment in Rachel's voice and it felt like a blade to her flesh.

The hammock dipped next to her and she reservedly lifted her tear stained face. Kurt sat beside her, his face was a picture of concern. Without words he reached over and held her hand, Quinn leaned her head against his shoulder and cried silently. She didn't need him to say anything, there was nothing he could say to make her feel better and Kurt knew this. So the boy held her hand, telling her without moving his lips that his love was unconditional and he was never leaving her side. Love's come and go but friends are forever.

"Life is a serious of event's Quinn. It's built up of brief, fleeting moments. And all that matters is that you choose the path meant for you." Kurt said quietly as he pulled the girl closer to him, holding her tightly.

Quinn used to run. She used to run until the throbbing in her legs was too much and she thought any second they'd turn to liquid. But they never did and the next day she'd run again. She would run when she fought with her parents, she would run when she'd fallen out with Kurt or Brittney, she would run when the melody she played just didn't sound right and she would run just because it was Sunday and she knew she would pig out on chocolate. The latter was actually only because she feared the wrath of her cheerleading coach Sue if she put on even a pound. When music failed, she turned to running although it wasn't a past time she had indulged in over the recent years.

Since her music session the previous day had been a disaster she was doing up her trainers, completed with form hugging cropped yoga pants and an equally tight baby blue vest top. It had been an outfit she'd purchased when herself and Kurt and had gone to one of Brittney's dance classes. The outfit had remained in her drawer ever since.

Running was relaxing; just hearing the pounding of her feet as she took breath after breath. It was a simple process and maybe that's why she had once enjoyed doing it. Once upon a time her muscles would have been vibrating under her skin begging for the exercise, begging to be pushed to their limit. But all of that was a long time ago.

Thinking back she didn't know how she'd managed to do it all and still managed to have energy to burn off with running. Her freshmen year of high school she had joined the Cheerio cheerleading team. By Christmas that first year she was captain. Then by the time summer approached she had joined Glee club and started dating Sarah Barlow. On top of all of that she's managed to keep up with her piano lessons, still found time to hang out with Brittney and Kurt. Junior year only reinforced what she started, she won nationals with the Cheerio's, got to nationals with the Glee club, continued her relationships with Sarah, went to various piano recitals, kept up her perfect GPA, was on honor roll and she did it all without breaking a sweat.

Senior year it all changed.

She got her heart broken more deeply than any teenager should experience, she quit Cheerio's, while she still turned up to Glee she sat at the back rarely participating, she still played piano but only by herself. Her grades stayed the same however, she threw herself into studying. And she stopped running. Her clothes became darker and her eyes became heavy. For a long time she stopped being Quinn Fabray.

Shaking the thoughts aware Quinn stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. With a smile she turned, grabbed her iPod and left her room, mapping out in her head where she was going to jog to.

When she reached the living room she almost had a spring to her step, she could feel the excitement humming through her body at the idea of a work out. She knew it would hurt, her muscles would scream out and her lungs would curse her for smoking. But that's what she needed. She needed it to drown out the other cries wailing inside.

"Where are you going?" She hadn't even noticed the people sitting around the TV watching Sunday morning cartoons. She frowned at the tall boy in his superman pyjamas who had now officially moved in with them.

"And why so early? It's Sunday. The day of rest." Brittney added as she curled up further on the beanbag, as if just the thought of being up and dressed before noon was tiring.

"I'm going for a run." She stated confidently placing a hand on her hip.

"You run?" Finn enquired the puzzlement etched onto his face.

"Yes-"

"No she doesn't." Kurt interrupted.

"-I do."

"No you don't!" Brittney exclaimed.

"Yeah, I used to run all the time." Quinn said with a shrug as though it wasn't that hard to run. All that was required was one foot in front of the other. Like walking but quicker. The duo in front of the TV started to laugh loudly and freely while Finn watched on confused.

"You haven't ran since you were...what 15?" Kurt managed to say through his rambunctious laughter. Quinn folded her arms firmly over her chest. She was not enjoying being the butt of their jokes.

"Ooo if you don't die we could go running together." Brittney said brightly.

"I'm not going to die."

"You might do." Kurt said with a nod of his head. "You're quite unfit." Quinn's mouth fell open in outrage and she stuttered on her words before she clamped her lips shut.

"You do smoke." Finn offered into the conversation and Quinn threw him a warning glance. Quickly he averted his eyes to his lap.

"And you drink at least two times a week." Brittney threw on top of the pile of insults and Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Dammit! I'm not unfit, have you seen my guns." To empathise this fact she brought her right up and flexed her bicep. Pointing to the bulge that appeared.

"That is quite impressive." The taller boy said with a half-smile.

"That doesn't count!" Kurt protested. "That's the arm you use to flick your bean!" Only this time all three of them burst into a fit of giggles.

"Fine I'm going. By the time I get back I expect you dressed."

"Hold on!" The blonde girl reached over to the side table and grabbed a pen and the pad as she began to write. Quinn frowned wondering what the girl was doing. After a moment Brittney ripped the page. "Here you go." She handed it over to Quinn who reached out to accept it.

"What's this?" She asked before she looked at it.

"It's our address and number just in case you pass out." The giggles started again and Quinn fumed.

"Oh laugh it up. Because I'll be back and you lot will be eating your words."

"Like you'll be eating dirt when fall darling." Kurt called as she Quinn stalked to the door.

"Good luck." Were the last words she heard from Finn as she slammed the door behind her.

On the porch she stretched out her muscles taking her time as she prepared her legs. She could feel them pull under her flesh. But she craved this. She needed the freedom that this activity used to give her. Stretching her neck out Quinn popped the buds into her ears, selecting her work out play list. And started.

Prodigy blared loudly into her ears, the beat setting her a good pace. Her sneakers slammed against the pavement as she jogged. This wasn't so bad, she thought as she reached the end of their street and she decided to pick up the pace. The air rippled along her exposed neck and as the stray hairs fallen from her pony tail tickled her flesh. She felt free like she was flying. Like all her troubles were miles away and all that existed was the beat and the pounding of her feet. This was freedom. This was beautiful. And she instantly picked up the pace again. She could start to feel her lungs burning and her breathes were becoming more difficult. But she laboured through, she could do this. She could run through this pain. She was damn Quinn Fabray!

She could push.

She could power through.

She could beat this.

It only took five more minutes and then the burn was searing her muscles. The aching in her lungs began to get painful, and she could taste blood in her mouth. She wished she'd brought water. Quinn was sure it never use to hurt this much, she'd been able to run for miles in highschool. Now the sweat was already starting to drip from her skin, making her feel hot and sticky. The muscles in her legs started to feel like lead. But she was determined not to let this beat her. Just keep moving, she told herself repeatedly, this will all subside soon.

However painful it was Quinn was thankful because it stopped her thinking about Rachel. Stopped her thinking about kissing the soft flesh of her thighs, stopped her thinking about nipping at the delicate skin on her neck, stopped her imagining Rachel's tanned body gleaming with a thin sheen of sweat and stopped thinking of licking up between her breasts before capture a firm- Dammit it!

She'd been doing so well not to think about her. Dammit!

"Oh shit!" Quinn managed to choke out as in her confusion her foot collided with the curb and she went flying to the ground, and there was not a single thing she could do to stop it. The connection with the concrete floor was painful and she hit it with a thud. Instantly a pain began to shoot from her ankle all the way up to her knee but she didn't look down to see what she'd done. Instead the blonde rolled onto her back on the cool ground and closed her eyes. Her lungs immediately took great lungfuls of air, happy to finally have stopped the torture Quinn had been putting them through. She pulled her ear buds loose and pressed the pause button on her iPod. Thank god no one had seen her.

"Nice dismount. I'll only give you 3.1 for the landing however." Quinn frowned, she opened her eyes gingerly. She knew that voice but how could the owner of it be there. She tilted her chin upwards and there standing in tight pink running shorts, a slightly baggy white vest top and a pink head band was Rachel Berry.

Fantastic.

"You alright?" She asked after a few moments without Quinn speaking.

The blonde tried; she was still trying to understand what the brunette was doing there. Had she been imagining her so hard that she'd summoned the girl's presence somehow? Quinn nodded yet made no effort to move.

"That was a rather spectacular fall." Quinn looked down to her right leg that was still throbbing. Eventually she sat up and looked down at her exposed quad before reaching down and rubbing her ankle. "Are you hurt it?"

"I think it's broken." Quinn finally spoke with a slight pout. Rachel giggled.

"You not being a little bit dramatic."

"Don't laugh. I could be crippled. What if I can't walk again? Oh what if they have to cut it off?" This only seemed to make Rachel laugh louder. Quinn narrowed her eyes at the girl. She was a comedian today clearly.

"Sorry. Let me look at it." Rachel said as she stifled her laughter and moved around the blonde before crouching by her foot.

"Don't touch it. It hurts." Quinn whined before flopping back onto the ground. There were many things Quinn wasn't good at; making cocktails, basketball, hand puppets. Worst of all she was not good when hurt or ill. She didn't like to be touched and she didn't like people near her. It all made her feel weak and vulnerable, which were too words she hated to describe herself as. And yet here was Rachel about to reach out and touch her, yet while Quinn protested she wanted nothing more than for Rachel to take care of her.

"Don't be such a baby." Rachel sighed as she went to touch it and Quinn instantly moved it away.

"What are you doing here? You coming to see Britt?" Quinn asked as she slung her arm over her eyes. Preparing to brace herself for on the coming pain.

"No I was just jogging. I jog every morning."

"Near our house? Are you stalking us?"

"No." Rachel chuckled and Quinn wondered what was taking so long for Rachel inspect her extremely injured leg. "I only live five blocks over remember."

Quinn recalled the modest two bedroom apartment that she now knew Rachel shared with Mercedes. She remembered the bright coloured walls, the rooms free from clutter. Although she'd only glimpsed them, they'd only had one destination the night she'd been there; Rachel's bedroom. However the taxi ride home had seemed to last a lot longer than five blocks.

"Yeah I remember vaguely." Quinn lied.

"Perhaps it was you who was stalking me." Rachel replied humouredly and Quinn smiled at her delicate tone. Her foot hurt but she imagined it would be hurting a lot more if Rachel hadn't been there.

"I'd be the worst stalker in the world."

"Well it was hard to miss the falling blur of blonde."

"See I alerted you to my presence."

"So you admit you were stalking me. I wouldn't blame you if you I were you. I am very stalkable." Quinn threw her arm off her eyes and looked up to see brown eyes playfully gazing back at her. A smile dancing across Rachel's plump lips.

"I-I was- no. I wasn't stalking you."

"Well that's a shame." Rachel replied as her eyes flicked back to Quinn's ankle. "Well it doesn't seem to be broken."

"You haven't even touched it yet! It could be hanging on by flesh and muscle."

"Quinn, I've been checking it the whole time we've been talking."

"You have?"

"Yes." As if to make sure Quinn pushed herself up and looked down to see her running shoe had been removed and her foot was in Rachel's hands. Quinn hadn't even noticed and now she could feel the gentle touch of Rachel. Her fingers were softly rubbing circles around Quinn's ankle. It was soothing and it made the blonde forget about the pain. How had Rachel been checking her for the past few minutes and she hadn't even noticed? It was like the brunette had distracted her with her voice, her flirty tone and gentle conversation. Her heart swelled.

"So it's not broken?" Quinn questioned.

"Definitely not. Just strained it. You're gonna live."

"Thanks." Quinn smiled but made no attempt to move her leg from Rachel's relaxing fingers. Maybe it wasn't so bad that she'd fallen after all. Quinn could feel her skin tingling from the touches and it set free a thousand butterflies in her stomach. There was a heat rising through her body all travelling to her core. She couldn't stop herself from picturing those talented fingers on her body. Exploring every contour of her body. Slender fingers pushing her thighs apart that Quinn would have parted willing herself. Have them trace patterns on her inner thighs teasing her with the anticipation, before they slipped into her wet folds, circling her throbbing bundle of nerves. Watching Quinn as she shook with every movement, exploring the ways that made Quinn moan. Slipping her fingers lower to Quinn's entrance and feeling Quinn jerk her hips begging Rachel to enter her. Quinn licked her lips and felt herself soak through her panties. She hoped that her arousal wouldn't be obvious.

She sighed and tried to shake it off. She'd have a cold shower when she got in.

They hadn't spoken for a few minutes; the blonde was just content to be in Rachel's company, Rachel looking after her like she was a damsel in distress. Like a modern fairy tale, rewritten just for them two.

"We should be friends." The words shocked the piano player and she shot her head up to look at Rachel who wasn't attempting any eye contact. Her gaze was only on her hands as they massaged Quinn. The blonde didn't know what to say. She wasn't aware four innocent words could sting quite so much. Why was Rachel saying that?

"Aren't we friends already." Rachel breathed heavily and nodded her head, which only confused Quinn more.

"Of course we are."

"Then why did you say that?"

"Because I wanted to be sure. I didn't want it to be weird between us." Rachel said though her usually confident tone wavered under the pressure of Quinn's question.

"Why would it be weird between us?" she knew why it might be strange, why it was strange between them. There was more than friendship flowing between them. She knew it and Quinn was damn sure Rachel knew it too. But she asked anyway. Just to have Rachel say it. Just once. She wanted to hear Rachel say, because I have feelings for you. Her heart began to pound in anticipation.

"Because of what happened that first night and then what happened that night you came and apologised." Quinn frowned. What about their stolen conversations? There long glances across the bar? How about the fact Rachel sometimes sang on that stage just for her? Quinn was sure she wasn't imagining it all. Had she misheard Rachel when she had told Mercedes of her feelings for her? Or was Rachel moving on, putting Quinn away neatly in a box and shelved away with other past indiscretions?

"We're friends. We can chalk it all up to mistakes." Quinn saw Rachel flinch at her words and that had been her intention. She wanted to make the other girl feel. Set her on fire the way she set Quinn on alight. The last thing Quinn would ever call it was a mistake, not now; meeting Rachel was fate. But she couldn't help the comment, a quick reflex to protect herself. She hoped it would spark something on Rachel. The brunette only nodded while she reached out to Quinn's iPod that lay discarded on the ground, wrapping her headphones around the device.

"You think you'll be okay getting home?" Her voice changed, it was back to Rachel Berry again as though the conversation only a second ago had not occurred between them.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." There was silence between the duo and the growing tension was mounting to a point where it threatened to send out a sonic boom in every direction, knocking the entire sate of New York to its feet.

Quinn finally removed her leg from Rachel's hand she no longer wanted the girl to be touching her. Maybe it was petty but Quinn didn't care. The blonde slowly put her running shoe back on so she could make her escape, without Rachel's touch it started to throb again. She felt the material of her yoga pants rub over her knee and it stung, lifting it up she saw the blood and she pouted. Touching the wound she winced and she felt as though she was five years old. "Ow."

"Ooo. You're bleeding." The concern was dripping from her words

"I'll live, as you said." Quinn didn't want to be snappy, really she didn't but she found their previous conversation had settled under her skin.

"Just let me look at it. See if it's deep, it might need disinfecting." Rachel said as she scooted forward her eyes fixed on Quinn's knee

"I'm not putting disinfecting cream on it." Quinn said defiantly.

"Why not?"

"Because it will sting." The blonde muttered and she saw Rachel look up and smile. It was a genuine wide smile and it eased away some of Quinn's anger.

"And I thought I was dramatic. Come here." Without letting Quinn move she grabbed both sides of the blonde's knee and held it tightly. Quinn didn't struggle, she didn't want to. Rachel was only inches from her face now and she could feel her inner creature purring at the closeness. "It's not very deep. It's only a graze."

Then she felt Rachel blowing on it, the feeling was odd, a mingling of warmth, coolness and a stinging beneath the flesh. Quinn thought she might combust into flames.

"Does it feel better now?"

"Still stings."

What happened next stopped Quinn's breathing, all the air got caught in her lungs as she forgot how to inhale. Rachel slowly and tentatively leaned forward and didn't stop until her lips made contact with the graze. The kiss lingered, a heat began to pool out from the touch travelling up her leg through her pelvis, up and up until it reached her heart.

Then it exploded.

Just like that Rachel removed her lips and looked up at Quinn through long eyelashes. She looked heart stoppingly beautiful. The top of her tank top was damp; Quinn guessed from sweat, her hair was in a sloppy bun and the sweat band held back her bangs. Nothing fake or forced about her natural beauty. Her checks were rosy without the need of artificial help, she glowed a way that no amount of make-up could ever achieve.

Beautiful seemed like an unjust word to describe her.

Stunning fell short. Breath taking was an insult.

She was just Rachel and it seemed like the perfect word to describe her.

Breathe. Quinn reminded herself and she exhaled deeply.

"Better?" Quinn nodded dumbly, her lips parted as she simply stared at Rachel. She couldn't look away, why would she because nothing else in the world could compete. "Well we should get you home." Rachel's smile faulted for a second before getting back up and brushing down the front of her of her bare legs, slipping Quinn's iPod in her pocket. Quinn didn't want to move she didn't want this moment to come to an end. She'd completely forgotten about her mood from minutes ago.

Everything she was feeling constantly conflicted. One minute she was angry, the next she was beyond happy, one second she wanted to confess her feelings and then in a heartbeat she was pushing it all aside. This run was meant to have cleared her head, stop these thoughts of Rachel. Maybe get some perspective on it all but instead she could feel her head swimming with confusion and her heart singing loudly to the world.

"Let's get you up." Rachel said breaking her thoughts and holding out her hands to Quinn. The blonde looked at them, wondering if the contact would be too much. She worried that the slightest contact might just tip her over the edge. But with pursed lips she reached out and accepted them. "Easy up."

Gently Rachel pulled the girl up it surprised Quinn that it didn't take Rachel much effort. She was stronger than she looked. The blonde stood up in front of Rachel and stumbled forward until she stepped into her. They looked at each other shyly and Quinn hobbled back. However the distance between them didn't last long as Rachel stepped towards her and hooked her arm around Quinn's lower back as she stood beside her.

"What are you doing?" The blonde choked out.

"Helping you get home." Quinn attempted to move away but Rachel's grip tighten.

"Hey. I'm helping you get home whether you like it or not. So you might as well just stop struggling against me." Quinn sighed and put her own arm around Rachel's shoulders, when her hand hit the bare flesh of Rachel's arm it made her heart flutter. If they were going to do this then Quinn was going to do it right, and she held on tightly. The gesture made Quinn feel safe and protected, having someone who cared about her and wanted to look after her. To show Rachel that she was okay with their closeness she turned and smiled, the brunette smiled back reassuringly telling Quinn with just one grin that she wouldn't let anything happen to her.

They started to walk or rather Rachel walked and Quinn limped in silence. It always surprised Quinn when the other girl was quiet because she was so full of personality and she had an opinion on everything that the silence threw her off balance. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Rachel's mouth opened and closed occasionally as she was trying to find the correct words to say something. Quinn waited patiently until she couldn't wait for the brunette any more.

"So since we're friends..." Quinn began trying to formulate her words as carefully as she could.

"Yes Quinn."

"How's it going with Brittney?" She wanted to know more and yet at the same time she was dreading any answer to her question. Quinn was fairly certain she was glutton for punishment.

Rachel looked at her with playful eyes and laughed. "Has she not spoken about me?"

"Of course she does. But I just wanted to know from you."

"I'm not sure we're that good of friends." Rachel squeezed the blonde's waist.

"Come on. This is what friends do."

"Okay well things are going well. She's funny, sweet and I can tell she genuinely cares about me."

There felt like there was more to that, there was a 'but' behind her sentence that Rachel couldn't bring herself to say. The blonde wanted to hear what Rachel was keeping secret. So she did the only thing she could do. She prompted her to continue.

"...but..."

Rachel pursed her lips and shook her head as she readjusted her hand holding Quinn. The taller girl felt the tingling through her body with the movement of the delicate fingers around her. She thought that Rachel's hand might be searing a hole through her top.

"There is no but. That was the end of my sentence."

"Are you sure?" Quinn's hopes sank.

"I'm positive. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"That girl. What was her name...Samantha?"

Quinn frowned wondering what Rachel was talking about, then it hit her and she couldn't fight the smile. The oldest trick in the book. Belittling the other woman.

"Do you mean Sarah?" Quinn asked with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk.

"Whatever." Yep Rachel was definitely jealous it practically radiated of the smaller woman. "That girl you were talking to the other week." Quinn didn't care that Rachel hadn't finished her previous sentence because this felt so much better.

"What about her?"

"Have you seen her again?" Immediately Quinn pictured Sarah's number that was still wedged into the frame of her mirror.

"No I haven't."

"Do you think you will?" Rachel continued to push and Quinn contemplated her answer because this question haunted her every time her eyes flicked over the number every morning. On more than one occasion she had actually punched the number into her phone but there was also something that seemed to hold her back from calling.

"I don't think so." Quinn replied honestly. She didn't want to lie. She didn't think she'd ever be able to call the girl. Sarah had a way of making Quinn feel exposed and raw like she could reach right into

her chest and rip her heart out. She wouldn't put herself in that position, there was only one person she wanted to hold her heart and she couldn't help but think in Rachel's hands it would always be safe. Until then Quinn would just have to keep it locked deep inside her and protect it herself, because Rachel wasn't free to take it and she worried that Rachel might not even want it any more.

"Why not?" As they approached a curb Rachel held Quinn and took most of the girl's weight to help her take the step.

"She's my past."

"So there's no one else?"

"Not at the moment." Quinn answered quickly not trusting her own mouth.

"Wow."

"What?"

"It's just a little surprising. The girl I met had more girls than I have hot dinners."

"How many hot meals do you have a day?"

"Maybe two a day."

"Well that's like two women every day so that would make it over 700 woman. I have definately not slept with that many woman."

"No? Just 600?"

"Really? I'd need a revolving door!"

"Imagine the chaffing."

"Seriously. Stop." Quinn laughed as she cringed at the mental image. "I'd be comatosed."

"But what a way to go."

"Death by sex."

"So there isn't anyone special?" Rachel asked again and Quinn wondered why it was so important that Rachel felt the need to ask the same question twice. Did she want Quinn to move on?

Quinn pondered the question. She thought about saying yes, there was someone, a petite brunette with a beautiful voice and eyes so deep and endless she feared drowning in them. She considered saying yes there was a girl who was completely and utterly consuming her and there was nothing that she could do to stop it. All of this sat on the tip of tongue and her heart tried to force the words out between her closed lips. Then her brain uttered one single word that stopped any notion of a confession:

Brittney.

Her best friend.

Rachel's girlfriend.

"No there's no one special." Quinn lied and she wondered if Rachel was able to see through it.

A few yards down the street Quinn could see her house come into view and she knew this secret moment alone with Rachel was almost coming to an end. She felt her heart twinge at the prospect of parting with the girl, she didn't want the brunette to leave her side. However the sad truth was Rachel was not Quinn's and so she would have to let her go, she's have to reluctantly slide her body out of Rachel's protective embrace and she dreaded the moment the lack of body heat would depart.

"I'm glad you're happy." Quinn finally spoke. She meant it. She wanted Rachel to be happy; she wanted Rachel to have the world. She saw it sometimes, her dreams of singing on a stage bubbling beneath the surface and Quinn wanted it to simmer over.

"Thank you. I want you to be happy as well." The sentence threw Quinn and she looked over to the girl with a knotted brow. "You just look sad sometimes."

"I am happy." She shrugged. She was. Well most of the time she was.

"Jamie seems to make you happy." Quinn's stomach doubled in on itself and she couldn't help the loud swallow than erupted from her throat. "Is she another one who got away?"

"Jamie is my anchor." It was the honest answer even though she was aware of how cryptic it sounded. She didn't have time to explain it all and she wasn't sure she had the strength to tell the story either.

Rachel just nodded as they approached the drive way to her house and Quinn wondered what the girl was thinking about. She'd love to go into the shorter girl's head and explore every thought and every feeling that lurked inside.

"Well here we are."

"Do you want to come in? I feel like I owe you a drink or some breakfast seeing as you saved my life."

Rachel smiled but it was forced and obvious. "No I've got work soon and I really should shower."

"You have a gig this morning?"

"No I've started waitressing at a little cafe, just some extra money to help with rent."

"You'll have to tell me where and I'll come get a cup of coffee or something."

"Okay." Rachel agreed but she was already slipping away from Quinn and the blonde already felt the cold seeping in. "I should really go."

"Alright, thank you. You know for helping me." Quinn said as she gestured to her leg which still had the material raised up over her knee.

"You're welcome. Oh don't forget this." Rachel said as her hand slipped into her pocket and pulled out Quinn's iPod. Their fingers grazed as she accepted the device and it sent that all too familiar burning through her skin.

Brittney. She reminded herself.

"Bye." Rachel didn't wait for Quinn to respond as she quickly turned and proceeded to jog off. Quinn couldn't help but watch the girl as she left; watching the way her ponytail swung, wondering how everything managed to shift so swiftly between. It was like she was constantly on a rollercoaster, going up and down, round and around. It made her feel ill. When Rachel disappeared around the corner Quinn sighed and walked towards her front door and entered her home leaving the past twenty minutes hesitantly behind her.

"Do not say a word. Not a single damn word." Quinn said as she hobbled past her three room mates who were still in the same places they were when she had left. She didn't look at them as she went to her bedroom. But before she shut the door she heard their laughter and she slammed the door loudly to block them out.

As she fell backwards onto her bed with a bounce she couldn't stop the smile on her face despite how things had been left between herself and Rachel. She pulled up her pant leg a little higher and looked at the graze on her knee. It felt warm. Warm where Rachel had kissed it. Her grin grew wider and she bit her bottom lip trying to get the gesture under control. It might have just been a second of lips to her knee. To Quinn however it felt like she'd been kissed everywhere.

Bringing up her index and middle fingers to her lips she kissed the tips before pressing her digits to the graze. Her heart sang. It sang to the world. It sang to the heavens and beyond. Quinn could only lay back on her bed as she listened to her hearts joyful melody play around her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Firstly I've got to thank my bully of a beta...although she hasn't bullied me as much recently...I miss the abuse! Secondly I want to thank everybody who has read this and left me any comments, they are amazing and my silent readers as well! Hope you guys like the chapter. I think the next one will be when everything starts to come to a head. Not many more chapters left people! Thank you so much again! xx**

Quinn met Brittany on her first day in kindergarten. The dancer had been gangly, already predicting that she was going to be tall, her hair was bright blonde and Quinn thought it looked like sunshine. Little Quinn had sat at her table with her head down, she hadn't wanted to leave her mother that morning and the sting of being left behind still hurt. When she'd run out of pink glitter she'd wanted to cry but that was when a new tub of glitter appeared magically in front of her.

"You can share mine." The happy blonde had declared. "My name's Brittany. What's yours?"

"Quinn." The timid girl had replied and their friendship was set in stone there and then.

Kurt had joined the despicable duo (as their parents lovingly called them) 9 months later. He had moved to their school late and both girls' had been curious about the new boy. They'd argued over who would introduce themselves first. Quinn had argued that she should because she was 32 days older while Brittany claimed she should be because she was taller. In the end it hadn't mattered. As Brittany had twirled on the grass showing Quinn what she'd learnt in her latest dance class; Kurt had approached them telling both of them they looked fabulous. He gushed about Brittany's yellow tights and commented on how Quinn's butterfly hair clips matched the ones on her jumper.

The despicable duo quickly became a terrible trio.

Quinn and Kurt would go and watch Brittany's dance classes which Mrs. Fabray would eventually sign her daughter up for. 'I know you love music and I'm not stopping your lessons but it's important to be well rounded', her mother had said. Kurt's father had refused to let his son join their class however; the boy still went to watch them.

Brittany and Kurt would attend all of Quinn's piano recitals. Being the first and only people to stand up and cheer when she played, ignoring the looks of the people around them.

When Kurt's mother died the two girls' went straight to his house and watched Singing in the Rain with him until he eventually fell asleep.

As they'd nervously approached the steps on their first day of high school they stood shoulder to shoulder. They could do anything as long as they had each other.

It had been Brittany who had dragged her to cheerleading try-outs. And it had been Brittany who convinced her to go for captain.

Kurt had joined glee club first. Stating that he wanted a place to shine. He'd easily talked Brittany into joining. After two months of emotional blackmail Quinn had joined too.

The boy never had to tell them the words 'I'm gay.' He didn't need to and it wouldn't have changed anything.

When Britt and Kurt had caught Quinn making out with one of the cheerleaders, Brittany had only smiled while Kurt muttered, "it's about time." Before shutting the janitors closet door.

As Brittany skipped down the hall with another girl's hand in her own her two friends had only smiled.

After Quinn finally admitted that she liked the glee clubs lead female vocalist Sarah Barlow.

Nothing could ever change the way they felt about each other. They loved each other unconditionally.

Every key moment in Quinn's life had those two in it. They were her constant point in a world that never stopped moving. When everything seemed to change, Kurt and Brittany remained the same to her. Quinn knew them better than she knew herself. She knew every smile, every blush and every hand gesture.

She could do anything with them on either side of her. She could capture the world as long as her hands were in theirs.

Thoughts of her childhood had plagued her in the recent weeks. She's recalled their tears, their laughter and their pathetic excuses of arguments. She loved them without restriction; they were her family, her smile, her laughter and her heart. She could never hurt them, would never want to cause either of them pain. The best days of her life were experienced with her best friends and that's how she knew she was doing the right thing.

Quinn thought of herself as a creature of habit. However in the recent months it had all fallen off course, she'd changed her pattern. She'd decided it was time to push for the old Quinn. The girl who lived for the moment, slept with girls to warm her cold heart for brief moments of passion. She was that girl once. She could be her again. Rachel had turned her world upside down, night was day and day was night, she'd pulled her inside out. As much as her entire being vibrated with a need for Rachel, a desire so strong it rattled her bones she had to face the hard truth; she was Brittany's.

The blonde dancer was happy around Rachel, she smiled all the time, she walked with a literal bounce in her step and Quinn couldn't deny that seeing her friend so joyful made her smile. She would not do anything that might in any way shape or form hurt the blonde. Friends first.

Quinn was selfish. She had started to think only of her own heart, and how it wanted Rachel. Mostly she counted her weeks not in hours or minutes but by the time she got to see Rachel and that wasn't right and it wasn't fair. To always be thinking about her best friends girl. Quinn would spend nights laying on her bed wondering if Rachel was thinking about her the way she was thinking about Rachel. Quinn had no right to be on Rachel's mind, she didn't belong there. She'd had her chance all those months ago in Bar Nunn when she'd seen the brunette and she'd denied it. Hurting Brittany would only break her own heart in the process.

It was finished.

She was officially moving on.

With a defiant sigh Quinn looked at herself in her full length mirror on the inside of her wardrobe. She was wearing black heels (thankfully her ankle was healed), not too high; she didn't want to tower over girls, wet look tights and a mid-thigh length off one shoulder white top. Her hair was tousled in waves looking effortless but in fact had taken her an hour.

She was going out with Santana, to drink, to hit on girls and most importantly to forget about Rachel and her hauntingly beautiful eyes.

Jesus.

Forgetting about Rachel was harder than telling her lungs to stop breathing or telling her heart to stop pounding.

"Argh!" She pushed out through gritted teeth before grabbing her cell phone and calling a cab. She was already running late and she couldn't be distracted further by thoughts of Rachel. Tonight was about her and Santana, to forget about their hearts and how they were mangled by their own hands.

Leaving her room and walking into the kitchen her heels clipped across the wooden floors echoing off the walls. Opening the fridge she pulled out a bottle of beer and popped the lid off. She had time for one before she went out, a little Dutch courage to help her.

Quinn frowned because she'd never needed alcohol to loosen her tongue before. Words and charm had flowed through her much like her blood did. It was just another reminder of how things had changed.

The whistle caused her to snap up and she looked through the arch way to her living room to see Puck. He was sitting on the sofa and had probably been alerted to her presence by her less than quiet shoes. The rest of the head's turned and faced her as well.

"Looking good!" Puck said as his eyes looked her up and down and then winked. "You taking a stick out with you tonight?"

"A stick?"

"Yeah you know so you can beat the girls back." He replied with a smirk and Quinn just shook her head although she was enjoying the compliment to her ego.

Her living room was one of her favorite and yet worse things about her house. Favorite because there was always someone there and worst because...there was always someone there. The amount of times she'd brought girls home to find one of her friends sprawled out on the sofa had driven her mad. But yet she wouldn't have had it any other way.

Quinn walked through the archway to see her friends all watching American Idol. Finn had his arm around Kurt's shoulder while Puck was slouched on the single seated sofa. Across the room sat Rachel on the bean bag and Brittany between her legs. It wasn't an intimate gesture but it showed familiarity and Quinn thought that stung more.

"I'll hand out tickets to the girls tonight so when their numbers called they can come right on over." Kurt threw in. "Otherwise they'll just be all over you. Like bees to their hive."

"You never do that for me." Puck interjected with a frown.

"That's because no girls are lining up for you."

"Hey, Hudson, will you sort your woman out." Finn looked between his friend and his boyfriend, before shrugging at Puck. "Man you are whipped. It's fucking sad." He turned his attention back to Quinn. "Right well fuck him tonight. You are now my wing man or wing woman."

"Thanks for the offer but I'm not going to Nunn tonight." Quinn said as she took a swig from the bottle and perched on the arm rest next to Kurt.

"What? Why not? It's Tuesday." Brittany protested as she shifted in her seat. Quinn avoided Rachel's eyes, the brunette had been playing with her girlfriend's hair as she sat in front of her.

"Me and San are going to try the Kitty Bar that opened up downtown."

"That place is meant to be a dive." Rachel added but still Quinn looked anywhere but at her. She had to power through this moving on thing and the first step was never making direct eye contact with the object of her affection.

"Oh is that how it is now?" Kurt chimed in with a look of distaste and Quinn pursed her lips predicting the oncoming disappointment.

"We just thought we'd try somewhere else." She clarified taking a huge gulp of her beer. The cab would be there soon and she couldn't stand Santana up any later. She had told the girl she'd meet her at 7 and it was now after 9.

"What my bar isn't good enough for you anymore?"

"Could you stop being so dramatic."

"It's probably because they've been with every girl who's stepped foot in Nunn." Puck said while he wiggled his brows.

"I don't need your help Puck." The boy ceased his smug expression. "Look, San just wanted to try somewhere new." Quinn sighed and squared up her shoulders and prepared herself to become the girl she once was. When it hadn't been about anyone's feelings but her own.

"I don't think you'll find anyone of substance there." Rachel spoke again and Quinn bit back her quick retort about not having found anyone of substance at Kurt's bar either. Although part of her would have liked to see the hurt flick across Rachel's eyes just to know she felt something; Quinn couldn't bring herself to be that cruel.

"I don't know, maybe I'll meet someone special there." The comment was meant for Rachel and even though she refused to look directly at her she saw Rachel stiffen in her peripheral vision at her off the cuff remark. Perhaps she should have held her tongue tighter.

"So Santana is looking for a girlfriend?" The quiet words came from Brittany and everyone in the room looked away from the dancer. The hurt in her tone was obvious.

"I'm not sure girlfriend was the term she used."

"Quick fix?" Kurt asked.

"Fuck buddy?" Puck smirked.

"Just someone." Quinn clarified. "It's not always about a relationship."

"You'd know." Quinn's head shot up and connected with the brown of Rachel's eye, the singer looked surprised that the words had fallen from her own mouth. Quinn quickly turned away and she wondered if the shock of the words were etched on her face.

"Ouch." Puck laughed. "Burn!"

"Shut up Noah." Kurt said as he looked up at one of his oldest friends. Quinn just shook her head.

"It might be awful and we'll end up with you guys tonight anyway. You lot are cutting it close aren't you?" Quinn said noticing the time and wondered why her friends were still at their house.

"We're going later tonight. One of the perks of owning the place we can stroll in whenever we choose and still get a seat." Kurt explained as Quinn drained the last of her drink down her throat.

"So what angle you gonna work tonight?" Puck asked as he scooted forward on the sofa.

"Angle?" Subconsciously Quinn began to rip the label from her bottle, feeling too many eyes on her.

"Yeah you know? Dark and brooding or charming and flirty. Badass? Unattatinable?"

"Puck have you seen me? I don't need an angle." Quinn said as she stood up placing a hand on her right hip and posed.

"Why do you have to sleep with girls? It's like a crime." The blonde couldn't help but smile at the compliment and it went straight to her ego which had suffered recently.

"You couldn't handle me."

"Let me try. Just once." He said as he clamped his hands together as though praying.

"You could not keep up. These walls are paper thin, I've heard it all. That girls is like Lionel Richie, she goes all night long." Quinn flicked what liquid was left in her bottle at Kurt and his hands instantly went to his hair. "Hey!"

"Really you can hear that? You can bring a girl home tonight if you wanna." Finn said with a grin.

"You're aware I'm your boyfriend and I'm sitting right next you."

"Course babe. But you know I was just thinking about getting tips."

"If you try on me what she tries on girls then this relationship is over." In a moment of weakness while the group's attention was diverted; Quinn chanced a glance at Rachel who was staring right at her. She wondered if Rachel wanted to say sorry for her earlier comment. Or perhaps she'd deserved the remark after the dig she'd made towards the brunette. She looked away knowing it didn't matter what Rachel was thinking because she was sitting next to Brittany not standing beside her.

Quinn laughed along with her friends even though she hadn't heard the rest of the exchange. Walking back into the kitchen she placed her empty bottle in the recycling box. When she turned around she saw that her roommate had followed her. Brittany stood by the kitchen table her hands deep in her pockets.

"Is she going to come out?"

"She's already out, I'm just mega late."

"Of the closest."

Quinn blushed as she considered this for a moment; it had been obvious that Britt was talking about Santana. Everything was always about Santana even though the blonde dancer couldn't always see it. From the way she wore colors she knew the Latina liked all the way to still watching athletic events to see who Santana might be up against. They all noticed but none of them said it aloud, they didn't want to remind the blonde that she was still pining for her lost lover.

"I don't think so. I don't think that's what tonight is about."

"What is it about?"

"This really isn't my place."

"I'm your best friend."

"You can't just whip the best friend card out every time you want to know something."

"Sure you can. It's like the get out of jail card in monopoly. You don't just keep it to say you've got one, you use it when you need it." It was hard to argue Brittany logic so Quinn didn't even attempt to.

"It's hard for her." Quinn spoke after a few seconds, trying to consider her words carefully; she's played the sentence over her tongue before releasing it. She felt like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand she didn't want to lie to the blonde and on the other hand Brittany had Rachel. She wasn't sure if she was claiming it was hard for Santana or admitting it was hard for herself.

All this time she had always thought about how Britt would come off in this situation she hadn't considered the possibility that it could be Rachel that would get hurt. Quinn was certain on many levels that Brittany still loved Santana, but she also knew it was the dancer who had walked away because Santana couldn't give her what she wanted or needed. This had spiraled into some incestuous sexual love square. It hurt Quinn's head almost as much as it hurt her heart.

She'd often played out the scenarios in her head. The what if's and what would happen if...it always led to someone getting her their heart broken. Yet her own heart and Santana's were breaking anyway, but she'd rather it was her hurting than Rachel or Brittany.

"What's hard?"

Quinn sighed heavily. "Seeing you with Rachel." She admitted and saw the blue in Brittany's eyes shine harder and brighter.

"It is?"

"Of course it is. If this was a perfect world she would be out and proud. But it's not."

"We can make the world perfect." The innocent of Brittany's words caused Quinn's heart to contract tightly and she resisted the urge to refute her claims; to tell her friend that the world was in fact harsh and cruel.

"Would it change anything?" Quinn needed to know. If Brittany was willing to go back to the Latina then that might mean that she had a chance with Rachel. She could swoop in and care for her after Britt returned to Santana. It would be like a great romance novel come to life.

The dancer turned and looked back into the living room before looking back to Quinn. Her eyes suddenly looking sad. "No. I guess it wouldn't."

"You have Rachel." She said the words aloud as if to reinforce the thoughts that were clearly running through Brittany's head.

"I do. And I really care about her."

"I know you do."

"It's hard for me too."

"I know that as well." A silence fell between them before Quinn spoke again. She needed to say it. And she wanted to mean it. "Just be happy."

"I want you to be happy as well." Quinn stilled. It had been the second time someone had told her to be happy. She couldn't help wondering what vibe she was giving out.

"I am."

"Are you?"

Quinn opened her mouth to speak. Maybe if she just told Brittany everything. Told her how she had completely by accident fallen in love with Rachel. That she was trying all the time to stop it but couldn't then her friend would understand. She would step aside and tell her to go to Rachel; to love her and be happy.

"Q, you're cab's here."

The words of Quinn's confession died in her throat before she even had a chance to form them. Maybe it was fate. Maybe her and Rachel were only ever meant to be star crossed. One brief moment that would only ever be a memory.

The two blondes looked at each other for an instant before either of them began to move. Both trying to decide what had just occurred between them. Without a word Quinn walked past Brittany into the other room grabbing her purse on the table.

"Have fun." Finn said.

"Not as much fun as you'd have if you were coming with us." Kurt grumbled.

"Go with dark and brooding, girls lap that up. Go get it wet!" Puck offered with a dirty smirk.

"Be safe." Brittany called as she too entered the room and Quinn walked towards the door.

"I hope you find someone special." Quinn's hand stilled on the door handle before she opened it. She turned her head slightly to the right just able to see Rachel, she only stopped for a fraction of a second. She didn't wish for anyone to notice her brief pause. Quinn fought hard against her instinct to turn around and completely face Rachel. She fought against apologizing. She fought against falling to her knees and confessing it all.

Quinn pulled out the door. "See ya later. Don't wait up." She fought and won. But it was funny because as she slammed the door behind her she didn't feel like she'd won anything.

Rachel had been kind when she'd called the kitty bar a dive. This place should have been burnt to the ground and built again from scratch. Quinn's shoe's stuck to the floor as she walked towards the bar her eyes searching for the Latina. Unfortunately she couldn't see Santana anywhere.

Brilliant.

While handing over a bill for her drink she checked her phone to see if there was any new messages or if she'd missed a call. Her screen remained the same; nothing. The last contact she'd had was when she'd got in the cab;

Hurry up and get your ass here. I'm fucking drinking alone bitch! - Santana

Finding an empty table Quinn nervously sat down on the seat after she discreetly rubbed the trash on the chair to the floor.

She was still playing back her interaction with Rachel over in her mind. She didn't want things to be tense and harsh between herself and Rachel, she wanted them to playful and flirty and she wanted so much more but didn't allow to dwell on that. Quinn didn't know what she was expecting to happen, that they would become friends and all her emotions would disappear as though they never existed. Resting her head in her hands she rubbed her forehead as if trying to massage the thoughts away. It wasn't helping but she continued the soothing action anyway.

Never before did she want Santana in her presence more than she did at that moment. Just to stop her from thinking about Rachel, because if she was going to move on from whatever was going on with her and Rachel she definitely needed to stop thinking about her.

Although her head was down she could hear the scrapping of the chair as someone pulled it out. She knew it wasn't Santana because the Latina would have been shouting abuse at her for being late. "That seats taken." Quinn muttered as she glanced around the gay bar another time, but was still unable to find the Latina. With a sigh she put her head in her hands again, this had not been the night she'd planned out in her head. She thought her and Santana would get drunk, dance and laugh until their sides hurt. And there would have been no thinking of a certain brunette.

"Yeah by me." Came the flirty reply and Quinn couldn't prevent the eye roll she gave.

"Cute but no. That seat is taken by someone else."

"Can I buy you a drink?"

The blonde didn't respond but rather held up her own glass and rocked it gently side to side causing the ice to hit against the sides. "Thanks any way."

"I have a place just a block over. Me and you could get outta here."

Quinn shook her head before finally looking up to the short haired strawberry blonde girl. She wasn't unattractive, her jaw length hair was straightened into harsh lines and her eyes were a dark emerald green, she was pretty in a youthful way that eluded many girls. But Quinn wasn't in the mood. She could force herself to be, perhaps play along with the girls flirting but it seemed like a lot of effort. Whoever this girl was she deserved more than a half heart Quinn. "Look I'm not interested. I'm waiting for a friend."

"A girl friend?" She asked as she leaned against the back of the chair, chewing on her bottom in what she probably thought was an alluring manner, it was wasted on Quinn.

"No."

"So you don't have a girlfriend?"

"I don't. I'm not very good at relationships."

"Me neither. We could be bad at relationships together." The girl continued to push and Quinn could feel her patients being tested.

"Are you blatantly ignoring what I'm saying?" Quinn snapped with a frown. She didn't mean to take her mood out on the girl, but with Rachel and Santana's absence she really wasn't in the disposition to play nice.

"You're pretty." Quinn's knotted brow tightened at the change of subject. Not that the compliment didn't inflame her confidence. "I haven't seen you here before."

"I haven't been here before."

"Every girl has had their eye on you the moment you walked through the door."

"If it makes you feel better I'm not interested in any of them either."

"It does a little. My friends told me not to come over. Truth is I came out a couple of months ago and well I suck at hitting on girls. When you came in, sorry for saying but you're gorgeous. And I couldn't stop staring." Quinn blushed lightly. "But my friends said I should set my sights a little lower."

"There is no such thing as out of your league."

"No they were right. You're clearly way out of my reach, but I wanted to try."

"For all we know you are the one who is too good for me. You seem like a really nice girl..." Quinn trailed off waiting for the girl to prompt her with her name.

"Laura."

"You seem like a really nice girl Laura. A little forward but nice. You don't have to try so hard. If I was available I would probably be taking you up on your offer." Quinn didn't realize what she'd said until it had left her mouth and by then it was too late to take it back.

"I thought you said you didn't have a girlfriend?"

"I don't."

"But there's someone else."

"I guess there is." She admitted with a feeble shrug.

"Well that has lightened the blow to my ego slightly. But if you like her why aren't you together?" The girl inquired. Quinn wasn't sure why she was telling all of this to a complete stranger but she felt a little lighter every time she spoke.

"It's complicated. She's with someone."

"That sucks."

"It does."

"Does she feel the same way about you." Laura seemed generally interested and Quinn regretted her attitude towards the girl at the beginning.

"Sometimes I think she does and other times..." Quinn stopped herself from finishing the sentence wondering if she was right. If Rachel did feel the same or if it was all simply in her head.

"Other times you don't know." The younger girl finished and Quinn nodded.

"You should try Bar Nunn." The blonde said as looked the girl up and down.

"I've heard of it. But this is like my comfort blanket. I know everyone here."

"That's your problem. You know everyone here. You should try it. My best friend owns it. Lots of different girls."

The girl considered it for a moment. "Would you be there?"

"I'm there most nights."

"Don't worry I'm not trying to hit on you again. I just, it would be nice to see a friendly face is all. Tonight's been the most interesting night in this place for ages. Two new faces and-"

"Was one a Latina?" Quinn interrupted quickly.

"Yeah smoking hot. My friend tried it on her but she got shot down in flames it was painful. She was all like 'if I was in to immature kids then I would have come over to you, seeing as I didn't'. I mean getting rejected by you was bad but that was just a train wreck to watch."

"That's Santana. You wouldn't happen to know where she went?"

"She left about five minutes before you got here. She had an argument with a couple of girls and she left after they did."

"Fucking hell this was her damn idea..." Quinn cursed as she knocked back her drink and stood up. "It was nice meeting you. But I'm gonna get out of here. It's not really my scene."

"You do stand out like a sore thumb. So if I went to Bar Nunn I'd see you there?"

"Course. I'll even buy you a drink."

"Really?"

"Sure. Anyway I'm gonna get going. I'll see you soon Laura." Quinn walked around the table until she was standing in front of the other girl and leaned forward until their lips connected. It was only a brief second of contact and there were no feelings on Quinn's part but she wanted to say thank you. Pulling back she looked over the girl's shoulder and saw Laura's friends all staring with their jaws

dropped. Quinn smiled, pleased that it had caused the reaction she'd wished for. She didn't like the thought of Laura's friend telling her that any girl was out of her league, because in reality league's didn't exist, only feelings mattered.

"If I was single I'd be all over you like a rash." Quinn said loud enough for Laura's gaggle of friends to hear before she walked towards the exit. She didn't look back; instead she rummaged through her purse looking for her phone. She felt a swell of pride as she was greeted by the cool night air having seen the reaction of Laura's friend's. Quinn hoped the girl came to Bar Nunn not because she wanted to take the young girl up on her offer but rather she didn't think picking up girls in that shack was doing her any good. Under her false bravado Laura was a sweet nice girl.

She started her text to Santana, berating the girl for standing up, she was less than pleased. All her big plans for the evening were disappearing before her eyes and the blonde wasn't sure if she was unhappy about it or not. Over the last few weeks she's come to discover that she couldn't go back; she couldn't go back to not having Rachel in her life; she couldn't go back to not knowing that smile existed or having it beam in her direction. All Quinn knew was that she had needed this evening whether she wanted it or not.

Quinn heard the grunts and shouts before she saw what was going on, and she stopped to listen wondering what was happening somewhere nearby. She quickened her pace to see what the commotion was about, following the sound. As she got to the alleyway a few feet from the Kitty Bar Quinn instantly frowned; a fight. She was slightly disappointed, although she wasn't sure what she had expected. It looks like two girls against one and Quinn shook her head about to continue on with her way home. But her conscious pulled her feet towards the scuffle, knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep knowing she had done nothing. The fight clearly was unfair with the two girls towering over the one on the floor; she knew she had to channel her inner head cheerleader who had once struck fear into the heart of every freshmen.

It wasn't until she was a few feet from the fight that she realized who the girl on the floor was.

Santana.

The blonde quickened her pace to a run and instantly went to pull one of the other girls on the Latina, earning her an elbow to the eye for her efforts.

"Fuck off." The girl shouted pushing Quinn back who was still stunned by the blow to her face. Regaining her composure she pushed forward again wrapped her arms firm around the offender's waist swinging her away abruptly.

"I said fuck off bitch. This isn't your fight!" She shouted as she struggled free of Quinn's arms. She swung for Quinn and the blonde moved quickly feeling the air rush past her face. If she'd had time she would have smirked at the girl maybe even stuck her tongue out with smugness.

"That girl is my friend dickhead. So get the hell off her!" Quinn told her firmly as she drew her hand back and threw it forward. Hard. Her fist hit the girl in the cheek bone and it set a fire up through the piano players hand all the way up to her arm.

"I've got this." Santana called although her words we're muffled. The blonde chanced a glance at her friend and saw the blood pouring from her nose; Quinn suspected that it was broken but she didn't have luxury of time to investigate it just yet.

The other girl who was over Santana came towards Quinn and swung her fist towards the blonde's face but this time Quinn wasn't quite quick enough and the girls knuckles and ring caught Quinn's lip. She didn't need to look down to know it was bleeding, she could feel the warm liquid explode down her chin.

"Fuck!" Quinn screamed as her foot shot forward and struck the girl instantly in the shin causing stumble as she reached down to hold her leg.

With a blood covered face Quinn saw red.

As hour later the duo were sitting on green plastic chairs in the hospital's ER, the first 10 minutes had passed with them being patient. It had then transcended into irritated foot tapping which had now become out and out aggravated bitching. Quinn was having trouble focusing on her frustration as her face hummed with a dull pain.

"What is taking so long?" Santana moaned with an annoyed sigh her hand clamped on her side. "I could be fucking dying here."

"I think the fact you're upright and whining like it's an Olympic sport implies that you'll live, maybe you'd actually get a gold in something."

"I'll ignore that comment…Bitch. You see it all the time people going into the doctor and then falling down dead two seconds later."

"Where have you seen this?"

"Grey's Anatomy, ER, Private Practice."

"They're TV shows."

"That are based on fact." The Latina responded as her fingers cautiously touched her nose, that was swollen and has dread blood crusted around it. Quinn just rolled her eyes she knew it would be a useless argument; it was just an irrelevant conversation to pass the time.

Quinn had only ever been in a handful of fights and she wasn't even sure they could really be considered fights. She had only ever punched one person and that had been a brainless jock in high school. She'd been raging so hard that when he laughed she punched him square in the nose. He didn't look her in the eyes again after that incident. The other 'disagreements' she's experienced were more 'cat fights' which consisted of slapping, hair pulling and occasionally biting. However when the girl this evening Quinn had gone mad lunging at the girl's throwing threats about the police around until both girl had eventually turned and retreated.

This was definitely not how she had planned to spend her evening. But at least the throbbing in her eye stopped her from thinking about anything else; in particular Rachel.

Santana sighed beside her and Quinn looked to face her. "What's wrong now?"

"Jesus when my sponsor and agent find out they are gonna go fucking ape shit." The blonde hadn't really thought about that, she saw Santana as her friend and she often forgot what the brunette did for a living. That she had fans who followed her career, CEO's who watched her socially. To Quinn the Latina was just her bitchy closeted friend. Not an athlete who hoped to compete at the Olympics'.

"Maybe this is what you need." Quinn shrugged and Santana rolled her eyes.

"Don't start Q. I can't even process this shit right now."

"Look, lie." It was a peace offering of sorts; Quinn knew that now wasn't the time to push the issue with Santana coming out so she backed down.

"Lie?"

"Yeah. Tell them that you were with me, and then I got in a fight and you came to my aid."

"You'd do that?" The Latina looked over with hopeful eyes and Quinn smiled back at her, as much as she could smile with her split and swollen lip.

"Yes. It's not going to change my life."

"Thanks Q. You were pretty scary back there."

Quinn nodded her head and attempted a smirk. "Just glad you're alright."

"Well I will be when I see a damn doctor and he pain killers me up!" She shouted out loud for everyone in the entire waiting area to hear and Quinn sunk into her chair.

Another twenty minutes passed and the girls were still sitting in the same place, but their expressions were even more hacked off than they were before if that was possible. Even Quinn found herself losing her composure now. However after much complaining the irritated receptionist had given them two ice packs. Santana had hers delicately pressed to her noses, while Quinn had her head back resting the cold pack on her eye. It felt nice Quinn noted. The blonde thought that if Rachel was beside her holding her hand or rubbing her thigh then everything would hurt a little less. Even a bruised and bloody face could not distract her from the brunette.

"My God, we're more messed up than that guy." Santana said pointing to the guy who was being escort through to the examination rooms. Quinn looked up taking the pack off her face and following the Latina's gaze.

"San I think he's been stabbed."

"I could have damn internal bleeding here." Throwing her arms up until she winced Santana sighed, shaking her head in disgust.

"I think you're going to be fine."

"When did you become a damn doctor?" Quinn turned to face forward, deciding to leave the Latina to stew in her own annoyance for a while. "This is all Rachel's fault." Santana grumbled after a minute or two of silence.

"No its not." She argued although not for the first time she had thought if they'd never met Rachel they wouldn't be sitting in the ER. It was all a chain reaction, had her sleeping with Rachel set off a series of events that had brought them to this exact moment?

"You're only saying that because you like her."

"If it wasn't Rachel it would have been someone else. Britt wouldn't have stayed single forever, as much as you would have liked her to." Quinn explained, she sometimes thought that Santana expected Brittany to wait until she retired from athletics for them to be together. She loved both girls' deeply but her loyalty would always lay with Brittany. Whenever Quinn caught the two girls looking at each other she had always thought it was a shame that they couldn't work it out.

"But look at us, this is what this whole mess has fucking caused. Its shit." She removed the pack from her nose pointed to her face to emphasis the point.

"That's not Rachel's fault San." She hadn't planned to get defensive but she didn't like the way that Santana was attacking Rachel over something that was not the brunette's fault.

"It's not mine either."

"Well it sorta is." Quinn confirmed which only caused Santana to frown at her.

"Fuck you." With a huff Santana put the ice pack on her face a little too hard and groaned at the impact, Quinn stopped herself from laughing.

"Tried that remember. You're acting like a spoiled brat. You can't have what you want and now you're getting yourself into so much shit that I have to rescue you." Her defenses around Rachel were making her speak harsher than she should, but she couldn't stop herself.

"I was doing fine.

"Yes. Your face is totally screaming 'I had them where I wanted them'."

"I did!"

"Tell you what, next time I'll leave you to it shall I?"

"Does it look bad?" The self-confidence radiated off the girl and Quinn knew that she would have to tread carefully so as not to upset her.

"You look fucking awful." Her mother always told her honest was the best policy, it also helped that the out raged face of Santana amused her. Dipping down into her seat she popped her head back and placed the ice pack upon her face again.

"Thanks."

"You need to move on." It hadn't been her intension to broach the subject for a second time, but Quinn was having to face the facts that Brittany and Rachel liked each other; which meant Santana had to come to terms with it also. Yes they argued almost constantly but the reason their friendship worked was that they were each other's voice of reason. Telling each other what they needed to hear even if it was potentially life threateningly painful.

"That's coming from you?"

"I am. I'm facing facts its time you did the same."

"We're done talking."

"I haven't finished." Quinn said removing pack and looked over to the Latina who had her eyes closed.

"..."

"San!"

"..."

"You can't just stop talking!"

"…."

"Oh you're a child."

"…I know you are but what am I?"

Quinn sighed and rubbed her face in her hands momentarily forgetting the pain. "Damn it." She cringed. Santana chuckled before clutching her side at the sudden movement and Quinn laughed in response.

Quinn pushed through her front door an hour and a half later only to find the living room filled with the same people who had been in there when she'd left earlier that evening. When she entered the house all of them sat up and she felt like she was on a stage and any moment they were going to expect her to perform. But then she saw their tired expectant eyes and knew what they really wanted from her; information; comfort.

She considered pulling her sunglasses down so that she could look in their eyes. Santana had lent her the shades when Quinn had dropped the Latina off. The piano player had asked to borrow them so she'd have something to hide behind, not wishing for her friends to see the glowing bruise over her eye. If she was honest with herself there were only one set of eyes she wanted to avoid. She didn't want Rachel to see her like this, she looked weak and she couldn't let the singer see her so feeble. Said brunette was sitting on the sofa beside Finn staring relentlessly at her,

Only an hour ago she had wanted nothing more than Rachel beside her, telling her she still looked gorgeous. She knew that the girl's calming influence would make the greatest pain disappear. Quinn couldn't allow herself to wallow in her thoughts as she knew the questions were about to fly at her.

"So?"

"Are you both okay?"

"What's with the glasses?"

"Jesus, babe your lip."

"What happened?"

It was a buddle of voices so much so that Quinn couldn't determine who had asked which question and she tried to focus to answer what they each wanted to know. Quinn had to fight her initial instinct to just run to her room, hiding the injuries she'd been dealt. For a brief moment she'd actually considered the Halloween mask that Santana had offered, knowing it would cover not only her eye but her split lip. She didn't want anyone to see her like this; especially Rachel.

Then one voice pierced through all the chaos in her head: Brittany's.

"Where's San?"

Quinn swallowed and shook her head. "She went home. She didn't really want to see anyone."

"So she's alone?" The blonde asked as the rest of the group fell silent; the worry in her voice was clearly evident to them all.

"Yes, but she's fine Britt hone-"

"I have to go check on her." Sitting on the edge of the couch she turned to face Rachel who smiled. "I won't be long."

"It's okay. I'll wait here for you. You should be there for her." Leaning forward the blonde kissed the singer on the cheek softy and Quinn hated the way the innocent gesture made her ache.

"Look I'm not sure that she's up to company." Quinn answered honesty, knowing that in Santana's frame of mind it might not be best for her to see the one person she wanted most and yet didn't have.

"She shouldn't be alone." Brittany replied firmly as she stood up and Quinn knew that arguing with the dancer would be pointless.

"Fine." Quinn said after a deep sigh. "She is fine but she took a beating. I'm warning you, her nose is broken and she's got a couple of broken ribs as well."

"Jesus." She heard Kurt breath out and it only caused Brittany to move quicker. A moment later the blonde had her jacket and purse in her hands.

"I'll be back." She told the room but really she was telling Rachel and Brittany shut the door loudly in her haste to leave.

"What the hell happened?" Puck suddenly declared breaking the silence. "What's with the shades? You signed up for the men in black."

"It's nothing. I'm fine. I told you on the phone, there was a fight. It's nothing." She repeated although knowing her friends would not think it was 'nothing'. "Can we talk about this in the morning, I'm really tired."

"Should you be sleeping?" It was Finn's turn to talk now. The paleness of his face and the worry in his voice touched the blonde. Maybe she hadn't been friends with him as long as Brittany and Kurt but she cared just as much about him. "I mean what if you've got a concussion?"

"I don't, the doctor checked me out. No head injury. I promise, I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. But it's late." Quinn didn't wait for any of them to pipe up with any more questions and quickly darted for her bedroom. All through their inquest she'd felt Rachel's burning into her and Quinn couldn't bare it.

She had barely closed the door and taken a step towards her bed when the door flew open behind her and she turned to face the intruder.

"Take your glasses off." She demanded. The blonde felt her stomach drop, she didn't want anyone to see the swelling or the blackness that hung over her eye. She didn't want Rachel to see her weakness.

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Fine." In one fluid motion Rachel was upon her reaching for the protection that covered her eyes. She struggled against the tiny girl until eventually she lost and the glasses were whipped from her face. On reflex Quinn stepped back and turned her head away not permitting Rachel to see what had happened. A soft hand hooked around her jaw and pulled their eyes level. The brunette's face fell and then it hardened. "Quinn, what happened? Look at your face. Who did this to you?" Hating the pity that was written over the girl's face; the piano player pulled her head back.

"Nothing. I said it was nothing now can you please leave me alone."

"I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine. I said I was fine. Now leave."

"What is wrong with you?" The shorter girl asked her eyebrows knotted together. Quinn didn't want to look at her. Didn't want to be near the constant weakness to her heart.

"What's wrong with me?" Quinn spat out. "What's wrong with you? Who encourages their girlfriend to go check on her ex? Now that's fucked up."

"You know nothing about mine and Brittany's relationship Quinn. She still cares about Santana."

"She still loves her."

"Yes but she is with me. And I'm not a jealous person."

"Bullshit."

"Pardon."

"You heard me. That's bullshit and you know it."

"I'll have you know that I am fine about Brittany being with Santana. I trust her."

"What about Sarah?"

"Who?"

"You know who I'm talking about. You were completely jealous the night I ran into my ex." Quinn didn't understand where this anger was coming from nor why she was directing it at Rachel. Perhaps in some messed up way she just wanted to release some type of emotion from the girl; even if it was fury and disgust.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"And what about tonight when I went out you were practically green."

"Don't flatter yourself Quinn Fabray."

"I don't have to. You do it perfectly." The blonde wanted to stop it. To stop talking; prevent every word coming out of her mouth. She felt like she'd reverted to the head cheerleader she'd once been before Kurt and Brittany brought her back to reality. She hated that girl she'd become in high school, and she was even more hateful of that girl now.

"It's becoming more and more clear why you were punched in the face." Rachel said as she crossed her arms over her chest as if trying to protect her from the onslaught coming from Quinn.

"You hate seeing me with anyone else. It makes your skin crawl, I see it in your eyes."

"What are you doing?"

"Telling it like it is."

"No you are behaving like an arrogant jerk."

"Isn't that what attracted you to me? Don't deny it." Quinn didn't know why she was pushing the issue, why she was being so aggressive towards the girl, it wasn't what she wanted to do but it flowed out of her mouth.

"Right now I'm having trouble figuring out what attracted me to you. I only wanted to make sure you were alright. And possible brain damage aside you seem fine." Rachel spun and turned to leave the room, her cheeks slightly flushed. Quinn reached her hand out and instinctively curled her fingers around Rachel's elbow, stopping the girl.

"Wait." Although Quinn was hurting and in turn taking it out upon Rachel she knew the girl didn't deserve it, and she didn't want her to leave the room hating her. She wouldn't be able to stand it.

"What for? So you can act like an even bigger idiot?"

"I'm sorry." The blonde removed her hand from Rachel's warm skin and her arms fell helplessly to her sides.

"Try again." She folded her arms snuggly over her chest and Quinn had to stop herself from looking to the girl's breast that had been pushed together. Even in a situation such as this, her hormones still raged.

"I was being a bitch. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

"Getting warmer." Rachel kinked an eyebrow and Quinn sighed.

"This is hard. Harder than I expected."

"What is?"

"Brittany being in a relationship. I took it for granted that she was there and now she's got someone else. She doesn't have as much time for me anymore."

"She hasn't gone anywhere. She's still your friend."

"But it's not the same. Everything is different."

"It doesn't have to be."

"She had to be happy. She wouldn't have been content with living the way she was."

"How do you know? Did you ever ask her?"

"I could see it. She deserved to be loved. To be someone's everything instead of just being my…friend." Quinn knew they were talking around their issues. Saying everything without ever saying what they wanted to. It was like a dance they had gradually perfected, like a waltz, slow and yet power. Like a foxtrot, quick yet classic. Like a tango, passionate yet loving. They skirted around each other never getting out of their formal position, scared of what that extra inch closer might lead to.

"We're still talking about Brittany aren't we?"

Quinn gazed at the brunette considering her answer, wondering if it was now time for the honesty that bubble inside her to erupt. She sighed. "Yes." They lapsed into silence before the singer took a step closer; entering her personal space.

"How's your face?"

"Sore." Rachel reached out a hand and Quinn had to fight against her instinct to pull her head back like before. Not because she feared the electric pulses that would tingle her skin from Rachel's touch but she didn't want to wince when Rachel finally made contact. She needn't have worried however, the brunette's gentle fingers skimmed over the bruise and Quinn very almost melted.

"It looks it."

"You think this is bad you should have seen the other guy." Quinn smiled weakly at the over used joke and she saw Rachel made the effort to grin also.

"What happened?"

"There was a fight, Santana and some girl's. It doesn't matter."

"Well it matters to me Quinn."

"Santana's struggling at the moment and I think all her emotions are on high alert and she was just over taken by them. I didn't get there until it was too late. I wouldn't have let it happen."

"I know you wouldn't." The silence over took them and they gazed at each other, Quinn didn't know what was being said between them without word but she hoped she wasn't giving too much emotion away.

With a deep sigh and a reluctance to stop movement Quinn finally spoke. "Could I take you up on your offer again?"

"Offer?"

"Of friendship. I realize my outburst just now probably wasn't my finest hour, but I'd like to, if you'd like to." Quinn had finally admitted it to herself that night that she couldn't go back to a life without Rachel in it, so if friendship was all she could hope for then it was better than nothing.

"I'd like that."

"Good."

Later that evening when Quinn was alone in her bed she played all the events of the evening in her head. Trying to understand it all. She was only sure of two things: 'Santana was drowning' and 'her feelings for Rachel needed to be tamed.' She wasn't sure how she was going to tame said feelings nor did she know how she was going to save Santana. Life seemed much easier when she had slept with girl after girl, not bothering to learn their names. However easier it was though Quinn wouldn't change the moments of heart aching joy she felt in Rachel's presence. It was a dangerous situation, Quinn was aware of this and the moments of joys were matched with times of heart break. She knew she had been changed, beyond recognition in some ways and she wondered if the rest of the world were noticing it as well.

Quinn found herself sitting in her regular bar (her safety net) she planned never to vent to another gay bar again. She hadn't really wanted to come out tonight, she'd planned on a night in her empty house, eating Ben and Jerry's watching trashy TV. However that plan was now just a distant memory.

A grumpy and still sore Latina had burst in demanding that Quinn get her ass out the front door. The blonde had barely had time to change and put some concealer on before being dragged out the front door. Quinn's lip was mostly healed and her eye now had a yellow tinge to it. She wasn't conscious of the injuries any more, in fact Quinn was a little bit proud of the wounds she'd had been inflicted with. She held her head high like they were her war wounds and the blonde liked the sympathy. Including the way Rachel would wince ever so slightly when her eyes fell on the bruise.

The bar was packed which was a common occurrence now, well on nights The Pretty Little Liars played. The jealousy that Quinn had once felt was now replaced by another emotion, a feeling that she recognized as pride. The crowds adored them, Rachel in particular, she had many admires and her regular groupies. The blonde would watch the girl's smile radiate as they told her how good she was and all the compliments were slowly building up her confidence that had been shattered by all the knock backs she'd been dealt. Yes she was amazing, her passion while singing was nothing short of breath-taking but Quinn still couldn't help but think Rachel's talent was wasted here. She smiled at the brunette as their eyes caught each other and Rachel stuck her tongue out during the guitar solo of the song, which caused Quinn to pout dramatically. Rachel bit her lip while smiling and Quinn couldn't hold her gesture at the toothy grin and her lips curled upwards. Rachel was an addiction that she couldn't stop from indulging in. It felt like a life time since they had flirted in such a way, and it knocked against the damn she'd built; trying to push apart the barrier to let her emotions run wild.

Things between herself and Rachel had been weird and not in the; 'I can't stop myself from touching you and looking at you weird'. But rather they were being civil and nice to one another, they were friendly and polite and Quinn thought it was actually worse. The tension was there beneath every friendly word clawing to get to the surface, begging to let Quinn's true feelings be known.

One evening Rachel had actually pointed out an attractive peroxide blonde that Quinn should hit on. The piano player hadn't really been interested but she'd approached the girl just to spite Rachel. Hoping that she might see the flecks of green in her brown eyes once again. When Brittany and Rachel had left together a few hours later Quinn had blown the girl off and gone home alone.

What being friends actually meant was to be tortured daily, to have her heart ripped out every second, to have her soul crushed and her eyes constantly averted to the floor. Because friendship was the last thing she wanted but she knew it was the only thing she had to give even though she wanted to give Rachel everything. All her smiles and laughter were wrapped up and she only wanted Rachel to be the one to open them. It was pitiful.

But there was Brittany. Beautiful, sweet and trusting Brittany and she knew that she could walk through the fires of hell just so her friend was happy.

Rachel was on the last song of the first half of the band's playlist. Although the songs changed weekly, Quinn knew how many songs they played on average, which songs were their favorites and the number of minutes that waited between their intervals.

Every time Quinn watched Rachel sing she couldn't help but imagine the girl on a huge stage in a packed out theatre singing her heart out. Rachel wasn't just an amazing singer, she was outstanding; but she was so much more than that. When she sang her face conveyed every emotion, every smile every tear the song had to offer. They were more than just words leaving her mouth. The world deserved to see Rachel sing. She pitied anyone who didn't get to hear her. Because Rachel Berry was one in a million. It was a breath taking experience watching Rachel perform, even just as a lead singer in a band playing in a gay bar. The energy that Rachel exuded was electrifying; it travelled through her microphone touching everyone near her. Words failed to describe what it was like being able to watch Rachel sing; no word would ever convey it or do it justice. So Quinn just watched with a smile spread across her face.

Quinn didn't doubt that one day Rachel would have her name in lights somewhere. With people lining up to watch her. Quinn also knew she'd be the first one in line.

The blonde watched as Rachel said her thank you's and informed the engaged crowd that she would be back after a small break.

"Quinn?" Hearing her name she frowned and turned to look towards the direction it had come from: Finn. She'd almost forgotten that it wasn't just her and Rachel alone.

"Yeah?" She responded as she reluctantly drew her attention away from the talented brunette.

"Is it normal for guys to want sex all the time?"

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at the question before answering too quickly, "Yes."

"Seriously?"

"Of course you're a guy Finn, if you didn't want sex all the time then something would definitely be wrong. Don't guys think about sex like every other second?"

"It's not me it's Kurt!" Finn clarified as a deep blush crept up from his neck to his face.

"Oh. Well yeah it's normal to want sex all the time."

"Are you saying there is something wrong with me?" He exclaimed the worried expression etching deeper into his boyish face.

"No, I'm sure it's normal." Quinn shrugged she really had no knowledge on the sex drive of the average male, although she would assume it was generally quite high.

"It's just with girls you know I would get a break...like when they were on their period." He whispered the last word and Quinn held back her chuckle at the clueless boy. "But with Kurt he just wants it all the time and sometimes all I wanna do is cuddle."

Quinn stopped herself from calling him a girl and instead smiled at him fondly. "Do you like the sex with Kurt?"

"Of course I do. It's great and I don't have my erm mailman problem anymore."

"Then I'm not sure what your problem is?" She frowned, surely sex on tap was a good thing. Quinn failed to see an issue.

"I love him."

"Yep I know that." Another loved up couple, it seemed like soon the entire world would be paired up and Quinn would be alone like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Where was her damn Esmeralda?

"And I just worry that if I don't put out he is going to run off on me."

Quinn shook her head and bit her lip to prevent the annoyed groan that wanted to escape her lips. "Do you really think that Kurt would ditch you because you aren't giving him a jolly 3 times a week?"

"It's more like ten times a week."

"Jesus!" Quinn responded before her jaw dropped, she was impressed by her roommate. "How do you manage?" She was able to admit she loved sex, however since Sarah she'd never met anyone she'd wanted again and again-not until now that is. She often thought of kissing the places of Rachel's flesh she'd missed the last time. Claiming an unscathed inch of skin untouched by another as her own, to leave her mark forever on the girl. "This is like a millionaire complaining they have too much money." Quinn eventually said shaking her head. "You are actually complaining because you're getting too much sex."

"Well you say it like that, it makes it sound bad."

"It is bad."

Quinn shook her head at the boy and laughed as she looked over to the bar she noticed Rachel and a tall black haired woman she didn't recognize. The stranger seemed to be invading Rachel's personal space and the brunette was trying to back away slowly, the dark haired woman was clearly drunk as she stumbled closer to Rachel. Quinn felt her blood boil.

Looking around she tried to spot the brunette's girlfriend; she was still getting used to saying that, it just didn't taste right in her mouth no matter how many times she said it. When she still couldn't spot Brittany she pushed herself up out of her chair without explaining where she was going to Finn. The blonde began walking through the people pushing the crowd out of her way; Quinn's eyes were only focused on the increasingly uncomfortable looking brunette. Her feet only had one goal. She couldn't help herself. That was her problem when it came to Rachel she just couldn't help herself, she wanted to be there by her all the time. As her feet took her across the room she knew fighting it was a pointless task, but that didn't mean she wouldn't try to. She kept telling herself to keep her cool, to not approach the other girl and rip her dirty hands off the petit singer.

Before her mind could properly come up with some type of plan Quinn stood firmly against the singer and draped her arm around her shoulder. "You okay babe. Sorry I took so long."

Rachel gazed up at her a look of complete confusion on her face and Quinn could only smile back, noting how cute the expression was.

"Wh-Who is this?" The woman slurred and Quinn turned back to the woman and eyed her up and down. She wasn't even that pretty. She wasn't Rachel's type.

"I'm her girlfriend. Who may I ask are you?" The sneer on Quinn's face was blatant to read but the black haired girl didn't seem to back up.

"Well me and Rachel are talking. So if you-"

Quinn instantly opened her mouth to let an onslaught of insults at the woman who had the nerve to talk to her in such a way. Maybe she wasn't Rachel's actual girlfriend but this girl didn't know that.

"How about you and-" What stopped her mid insult was Rachel lifting up her hand and interlocking her fingers with Quinn's that were laying on her left shoulder.

"As you can clearly so I'm taken. Happily taken. So not only are you embarrassing me with your unwanted attention and yourself but you are embarrassing my girlfriend as well and you don't want her to smack you down, she has a black belt." For a second Quinn thought the girl was going to argue, but with a shrug she turned and left.

"You almost got me in a fight!" She exclaimed and Rachel laughed.

"It's my knight in shining armor." Rachel joked, her face a picture of relief and Quinn felt pride knowing she was the one to save her.

"Well don't look too closely, there are chinks in my armor." Quinn smiled sadly, it didn't quite reach her eyes and she wasn't sure she had the effort to lie. From across the room she saw Brittany approaching them, a happy bounce to her step. Hesitantly Quinn slid her fingers out from in-between Rachel's and removed her arm from around her neck. The lack of heat was instant. Rachel too seemed to sense that the moment was over and rubbed her hands on the front of her short pleated skirt.

"Thank you for saving me."

"Anytime." Quinn said with a half-smile and began to walk outside to get some much needed air. It was a persistent problem when it came to Rachel; the constant need for more air due to her inability to breathe easy.

Sitting outside she pulled out a cigarette and popped it between her lips, enjoying the gently humming of her skin and pride that was only caused by the petit brunette. She was just a simple pathetic addict when it came to Rachel. One part of her constantly told her to be strong, to move on. Then the other side would argue back, forcing her lips to rise into a small or for her feet to lead her to the singer. Knowing which side to take was an endless battle. And Quinn had no idea what side was going to win.

The image of their intimate touch from only seconds ago played on repeat in her mind. Quinn wondered silently if people that had been driven mad had done so by unrequited love? Having pictures flashing through their heads of people they could not have no matter how much they craved them until finally they were driven insane. Right now it seemed like a very reasonable explanation to the blonde.

She hadn't even taken her third drag of the cigarette when Puck came wandering over to her from across the street. She had wondered where he was, his late arrival had been noted by everyone but no one knew where he was. The male walked over to her wearing a pair of fitted black jeans with a white shirt tucked in tightly and what Quinn thought could possibly be a tie. The answer to where Puck had been was far from being answered with his appearance. His usually overly tight to reveal my muscle's T-shirt was missing and the blonde did a double take just to make sure it was the man she suspected.

As he strut over to her with one of his famous flirty smirk's she knew she wasn't mistaken, but he didn't look quite right. She didn't speak as he turned around in a circle in front of her and she just frowned in confusion. Hopefully he would explain himself; 'what on earth is on that tie?' she thought to herself as she cocked her head to the side.

"How do I look?" He finally asked looking extremely proud of himself, like a child who had just walked for the first time.

"You're wearing a tie." Her frown grew staring at the on his tie until she understood what the pattern was; Yep it was still Puck and not a pod person.

"Do I look smart enough?" The man said as rubbed down his clothes self-consciously, his arrogant usual smirk was faltering and it only caused the blonde to be more intrigued.

"Your tie has naked girls on it." The girl's weren't even in bikini's it was full frontal and completely Puck. Yet it still didn't answer why it was around his neck. He never wore ties he'd always said he was too worried a girl who pull on it and choke him to death. Which if it even did happen he would have probably deserved for some inappropriate comment.

"But it's a tie." He looked down waving the fabric around at Quinn as though she might not see how smart it looked.

"With naked girls on it. Why are you wearing a tie with naked people on it?" Quinn took a drag of her cigarette as she continued to eye him up and down.

"It's the only tie I own." That wasn't surprising.

"Doesn't answer the question about why you're wearing it."

"I'm trying to impress the drummer." Puck tried to sound cool but there was a very slight tremor to his voice that other people might have missed, but Quinn heard it. Puck was nervous. She never thought she would see the day. She tried not to smile.

"Yeah might want to lose the tie."

"But I think it gives me an edge." He explained as he posed with his arms on his hips. It was the most unmanly stance she'd ever seen. Quinn reminded herself to start going to a straight bar with the boy every now and then.

"Hey, why's everyone out here?" Rachel asked as she approached them. Quinn looked around them, noting that it was only them two from their group.

"I wouldn't say everyone." Quinn joked as Rachel took the seat opposite. "Where's Brittany?"

"Some Pitbull song came on and she ran off shouting this is my jam."

"Yeah, give me everything. She used to love that song in high school."

"Yes then Finn took Kurt into his office." Quinn chuckled considering the conversation she'd just had with the freakishly tall boy.

"They're obviously-" Quinn started but Puck instantly held his hand up.

"Don't say it. I don't need the visual."

"Why are you wearing a tie?" Rachel asked pointing with eased brows.

"He's trying to impress Mercedes."

"It's got naked women on it."

"Exactly what I said." Quinn said smugly and Puck once again looked down at the clothing tied loosely around his neck.

"Come on! This is completely acceptable."

"No. No woman wants to be wooed by a man with nakedness all over his clothes." The singer noted as she shook her head clearly as unimpressed by it was Quinn was.

"It's not all over..." Rachel stood up and proceeded to undo the tie and whipped it from his neck while he continued to protest. Finally she undid his top button and took a step back giving him an approving nod.

"That's better." She said happily as she idly wrapped the tie around her small hands and took her seat beside the blonde. "So what's your plan?"

"I'm gonna ask her out."

"Just like that?" Quinn asked.

"Yep just like that. No standing close by flexing my guns, no chat up lines, no pet names."

"That's impressive Noah."

"Damn straight." He smiled now; glad to have the girl's approval at last. Every now and then Quinn was surprised by people, this was one of those moments. People had always pegged Puck wrong, they saw him as just a well-muscled girl chasing jerk. And there were moments when he was just that, but in between all that he was caring and sensitive. He was the underdog she couldn't help but route for.

Taking a deep breath he rolled his shoulders. "Here it goes."

"Good luck." Rachel said with a wink and Quinn smiled as the boy walked into the bar in search of the drummer. After a beat Rachel turned back to the blonde with a worried look. "I hope he doesn't come back with bruised balls again."

"There's a fifty fifty chance." Quinn admitted earning herself a small light laughter from the brunette.

"This could be interesting." The silence that fell between them wasn't the awkward kind that is often dreaded but rather the comfortable kind. Quinn sat there just happy to be in Rachel's company and she was worried about speaking just in case she said anything that could ruin it.

"Hey."

"Hi." Said before blowing the smoke up above their heads into the night sky, she watched it float away before quickly looking back to the brunette.

"I wanted to say thank you again. You know for saving me."

"Anytime." Quinn had Rachel's name carved into her soul so deeply that she didn't think it possible for it to be worn off. Even if she had wanted to let Rachel fend for herself against the drunk girl's advances should couldn't. She was in too deep and she was only falling harder every second.

"You know smoking is a disgusting habit?" Her eyes were fixed on the white half smoked stick between Quinn's fingers.

"Well it's a good job you don't have to smoke it then."

"You should give it up. It's really not good for you." She stared intently at the blonde and Quinn felt her walls cave under the gaze so much so that she stubbed her cigarette out with an over exaggerated huff .

"Happy now?"

"Extremely."

Half-heartedly Quinn looked at her watch, their time together was pretty much up. "We should get back in. We don't want to keep your adoring public waiting."

"No we don't, they're addicted to me. It would be cruel." The duo smiled at each other, happy to be in the others company. Quinn suspected although Rachel was joking that the girls probably were in fact addicted to the singer. She felt a little jealous, as though she was just one of the many girls in love with Rachel. "This friend's thing isn't so bad." Rachel commented gently as she pushed herself up and waited for Quinn.

"It's fine." Quinn agreed while inside the creature roared with displeasure and together they walked back into the bar. Her jaw tensed painfully as she willed her mouth to stay closed, not wishing to tell her how hard it actually was.

Quinn looked at Kurt leaving his office his fingers interlocked with Finn's; she watched near the stage as Puck said something to make Mercedes's laugh; Tina sat in Artie's lap as he whispered into her ear over the music. For a brief second Quinn considered reaching her hand forward and holding the brunette's hand like they had done earlier that evening. However the moment was ruined as Brittany came running over and wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist.

Quinn was alone. But hadn't that been what she wanted? She didn't want relationships; she'd avoided them since senior year.

Looking at the couples loving each other, the blonde realized that perhaps that had been what she wanted all along. Or perhaps it had just been Rachel she'd been unsuspectingly waiting for all this time. The creature inside her traced the outline of Rachel's imprinted name on Quinn's soul and the blonde felt every excruciating second of it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Firstly as always I want to thank my lovely beta! We finally did it, for a while i didn't think we were going to finish this chapter. Secondly I want to thank every single person who reads this, it's reason I continue to write it even when the chapter drives me completely mental. Hope this is _kinda_ wehat you've been waiting for. We're almost there with this! Thank you again!**

Quinn slowly crept around the side of her house not wanting to alert anyone who might be inside the house to her presence. All she wanted to do was go to her music study in the shack at the bottom of their garden. She called it a shack but it was anything but. To her it was heaven and right now it called her name like a siren.

Her afternoon hadn't been exactly bad. In fact there had been an hour of pure and utter magic. She'd been teaching a young girl for six months and today had been the moment; she'd seen the twinkle in her eye as she played. Right then she knew the girl had found her passion for the piano and it was no longer a chore that her parents forced on her. It was rare and it reminded Quinn of herself the way the child had closed her eyes as she'd played the final notes. Magic.

However when she'd met Jamie for dinner the day had hit a bump and her mood had been severely affected. Jamie had been in a foul mood and in turn it had brought Quinn down to reality with a thud. Quinn watched as Jamie pushed the food around the plate until finally it was time to part ways. The blonde was usually the cure to even Jamie's most sullen of moods but none of her jokes or stories had even curled the slightest corner into a smile. In the end Quinn had given up.

Slipping into her music space the warmth hit Quinn, spreading through her body. It was home. Her safety net wrapped tightly around her and she knew that nothing in the world could get to her here. Without waiting her feet instantly took her to the keyboard and she played her usual warming up song. The song had once caused her so much pain but now it brought her comfort, it was the one constant thing in her life and so she played along with a smile on her lips.

When she came to the end of the song she didn't give herself a break and began to play another tune, it was all part of a challenge that Quinn gave herself. She would take an up-tempo song and she would slow it down. It was just something fun that she did to bend and change music to suit what she wanted out of it and yet it kept its original form refusing to completely break no matter how much she pushed the song. Today she played around with one of the early Lady Gaga songs, poker face. She remembered being in junior year of high school and everyone went gaga for Gaga. Quinn hadn't been overly fused but she was able to admit that woman had a gift for finding a good beat.

Sitting there Quinn stripped the song back to its bare roots until a slow and smooth melody floated through the small room. It was still recognizable and Quinn didn't want to sound cocky but she thought it might have sounded better than the original. Forgetting herself Quinn began to sing along.

"_Oh o-oh oh oh o-oh oh." _Quinn couldn't help but smile as she sung the happy little sounds_._

"_I'll get him hot, and show him what I've got oh o-oh oh oh o-oh oh whoaa oh I'll get him hot, and show him what I've got_." She opened her mouth to continue singing when her voice got caught in her throat. Luckily her fingers were more professional and continued to play when the new singer began to join in. The appearance of the brunette was surprising but Quinn didn't want to stop and draw attention to her shock in case the girl left.

"_Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face_." Rachel's voice was so versatile, she could sing the phone book and it would still be the most stunning thing ever to grace Quinn's ear drums.

"_She's got to love nobody_." Feeling brave or simply lost in the moment Quinn sang back to the brunette.

"_Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face._" She clearly took this as an invite and slowly Rachel walked into the room shutting the door behind her. Slowly she entered Quinn's secret place. Listening to her Quinn couldn't help but wonder if Rachel had been a descendant from one of the Siren's in Greek mythology. She had been adorned with a voice that the entire earth would follow to the end of the world.

"_She's got to love nobody."_

Rachel was standing beside the blonde as she played and subconsciously Quinn moved over on the bench and Rachel took the invitation and sat down beside her. Taking a deep breath at the same time the girl's continued.

"_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face,_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face."_

While she sang Quinn chanced a look to the side to see Rachel's mouth mold each word into the sound she desired and she had to remind herself to keep singing. Quinn didn't want to suddenly stop and therefore cause the brunette to halt as well. If she could stay like this listening to the brunette singing she'd trade everything she owned; she'd trade her heart, her soul, her all.

Friends thought that about other friend's right? It was perfectly natural.

The singers hand tapped out the beat of the song on her bare thigh as they continued to sing. It was slowly getting colder and Rachel still braved the weather in short skirts; Quinn considered getting the brunette a pair of jeans or jogging bottoms for Christmas/Hanukkah, because seeing those long tanned legs was becoming more and more torturous.

Friends thought about what presents they would get each other right? It was perfectly natural.

Turning her attention back to the keys; Quinn tried not to focus on Rachel as she went into the last part of the song otherwise she wouldn't be able to play. Rachel was too beautiful and too smart and too much of everything. With the greatest concentration Quinn managed to bring the song to a close.

"_She's got to love no body…_" They sang together although Quinn knew that it had been Rachel who had ultimately carried their performance. The blonde knew her voice wasn't bad, she could hold a tune and knew the right notes but it was in no way impressive. She was a player behind the singer and she was happy with her position. Because without people like her then people like Rachel would never be able to shine as brightly as they should.

Rachel was sitting beside her with the biggest grin on her face and Quinn didn't quite know what to do with herself. She thought she must have looked uncomfortable with her back completely straight and her jaw clenched but she was too scared to drop her guard.

Friends often became nervous around each other right? It was perfectly natural.

"I knew I was right about you." Rachel said as she stood up and began to walk about Quinn's secret space looking around, inspecting the room. No one apart from Brittney or Kurt had ever been in here, Quinn felt extremely protective over it all. Protective over the pictures hanging on the wall, over each page of scattered sheet music especially over the sheets that contained the start of her own music. She was never able to get past the beginning of her own melodies; another song always blocked her musical flow. It was extremely frustrating. She wasn't sure why she was afraid to let people inside, perhaps because if she allowed too many people inside that it would lose some of its magic and yet she didn't turn Rachel away. In fact she actually liked having Rachel in there; it was like she was allowing Rachel into her hidden areas.

"Right about what exactly?" Quinn was tempted to ask why Rachel had ventured into her music room; did anyone else know she was there? Why was she there? Had she come around for the sole perhaps of seeing Quinn? The thought let loose a flutter of butterflies in her stomach.

This was normal. Friends spent time together. Alone. In a secret, private place. It was perfectly natural.

"You can sing." Rachel said as she looked at a picture on the wall from junior year. Quinn and Brittany were in their Cheerio outfits while Kurt was in jeans and a tweed waist coast. The photo was of Britt and Kurt on their hands and knees while Quinn balanced on their backs; their very own pyramid. If the picture had been taken a moment later they would have seen Quinn flat on her back as Kurt pushed her off complaining about how much the jeans cost. The world had been waiting for them with open arms and they thought they had forever to embrace it. Quinn had been greatly mistaken, if she'd known what horrors hid behind the corner she would have slowed down every second.

"I wouldn't call that singing."

"What would you call it then?"

"I have a good voice for a musical instrument."

"You don't need a good voice for an instrument Quinn." Rachel pointed out as she turned her attention back to Quinn and the blonde in turn spun around to face her keyboard.

"Exactly." She could feel Rachel behind her and allowed the beautiful sound to echo in her ears. Every noise and sound that Rachel produced sounded like heaven or what Quinn thought heaven would sound like.

Yes friends did think that about other friends in such high regards. It was perfectly natural.

"You shouldn't put yourself down."

"I'm not. I just think that I should stick to what I'm good at. Hence the keyboard." Quinn said as she played a sped up version of chopsticks. "Ta-da."

"Very impressive."

"I aim to please." She replied as she winked at the brunette and she shook her head before returning to examining the small space.

"You are different on a keyboard." Rachel said as Quinn played a random tune she'd composed herself which quickly morphed into the same song it always did. The blonde stopped herself from smashing her hands on to her keys in irritation; the song was haunting her constantly. Instead she took a deep breath before answering the petit girl.

"How do you mean?" The blonde asked stilling her fingers on the keys and looking over her shoulder to the brunette.

"That first night when I saw you on that piano, I've never seen anyone play like that Quinn. Your passion was pure magic. Every note was special and original. You took care over every single song as though they were a love letter to someone meaningful." Quinn blushed, she couldn't stop it. No one had ever caused her to flush quite so intensely as Rachel before. Except maybe her mother with the baby book. "But when you play on the keyboard there is a lack of spark not to say you are not talented still because you are. In fact you are one of the most talented players I've ever had the pleasure to sing with. Or even listen to. There's something about you, the way you love music, how every note is special to you in a way that no one else can see. You're funny as well and you care about your friends so much and..." Rachel trailed off and Quinn could see the brunettes own cheeks start to flush, she was glad she wasn't the only one with redden cheeks. But it was adorable to witness nonetheless.

Clearing her throat Quinn said. "Was all that your way of saying I'm nice?" A lopsided smile appeared on the blondes face.

"Yes."

"Thanks". Quinn muttered, she wasn't sure why the compliment was making her inflame so deeply. Her cheeks felt like they might be on fire. "Well you're kinda nice yourself." She had meant it as a compliment but the moment it had left her lips Quinn knew that it hadn't come out right.

"Oh be still my heart, I've been waiting my entire life for someone to say I'm 'sorta nice'." Rachel explained clapping her hands over her chest, the duo chuckled together and Quinn shook her head at her lack of suaveness. Where had her charm disappeared to of late?

"You know what I mean." Quinn mumbled further hoping to dig herself out of the hole she'd made for herself.

"And if I say I don't?" Rachel teased.

Yes friends teased. NATURAL.

DAMN NATURAL.

Quinn couldn't help but start to think that she was trying to convince herself that every word, every glance or every gesture was just that of friends. Did friends think about each other as much as she thought about Rachel? Did friends think about holding each other hands? Did they think about what it would be like to run their hands up the others tanned thighs? To want to have only their name leave the others mouth? Was that natural?

"You've healed well." Rachel said breaking the blonde's thoughts. Quinn watched as the singer took in her appearance, the blonde felt suddenly shy under Rachel's intense gaze.

"Y-yeah." Quinn stuttered out feeling like a fool before coughing lightly. "I thought I pulled it off." She tried to cover her stumble in confidence with a cocky smile.

"Definitely, it gave you an added edge."

"You think?"

"Yes, it made you look very tough Quinn." Rachel said as she walked behind the keyboard, running her index finger across the top of it, a sly smile on her lips.

"Are you mocking me?" Eyeing the brunette through playful narrow eyes Quinn hid her own smirk.

"Would I?"

"Yes."

"Thank you and you are correct; I was in fact mocking you." She couldn't help but love this side of Rachel, her playful fun side. Truth be told there wasn't a side of Rachel that Quinn wasn't in love with. In a friendly way of course. Rachel's sly grin transformed into a full watt smile that lit up her entire face and Quinn felt her heart thud uncontrollably. It all made Quinn feel alive.

They lapsed into silence and Rachel went about looking.

Quinn was becoming accustomed to these moments of silence that often occurred between them. It was like they knew there was more to be said but neither of them was brave enough to speak it aloud. So to fill it Quinn began to string random keys together, playing a slow peaceful melody that floated around them. Rachel leaned against Kurt's desk and although Quinn wasn't facing the shorter girl anymore she could feel the girl's eyes burning into her.

"So where did you go to College?" Quinn asked while she began to play the tune to an Alicia Keys song. She had thought that Rachel would have gone to Julliard for sure, competing against people much less talented than herself.

"I went to NYU, I did performance studies."

"That's an impressive school."

"Not as impressive as Julliard."

"That depends upon who you're asking. So then you graduated; became a lead singer in a band while waitressing." Quinn didn't mean it to come out the way it sounded, and hoped that her words hadn't insulted the girl.

"Isn't that what every girl does who comes to New York or goes to L.A?" Rachel chuckled lightly but the blonde could hear that it wasn't the hearty laughter that usually erupted from the pit of her belly.

"You're just too talented, that's all."

"Oh, says the girl who went to the best musical school in the country and now gives piano lessons for pittance." Quinn felt the dig, but she wasn't going to let that deter her from finding out about the brunette. She wanted to know everything about the brunette, from her favorite color, to any childhood pets she had. It could be possible that she would never know enough about Rachel.

"Didn't you try?"

"Try what?"

"Auditioning?" She pushed and she heard Rachel sigh from behind her.

"Of course I did. I wasn't good enough Quinn."

"That's bullshit."

"Really? Do you see me on Broadway right now?" Rachel answered sarcastically.

"What happened?" Stopping playing now, Quinn turned around on the bench so that she could face the singer; she wanted to hear the story, to see Rachel's face as she explained.

"I grew up in a small town where I was the star, a slushied star but a star nonetheless. I knew my future, it was Julliard, and then I would get my first starring role on Broadway the year I graduated. But slowly the bullying, my lack of any real friends who weren't just riding my coattail began to bring me down. I slowly stopped being that girl. I couldn't bring myself to apply so I went to NYU. It seemed safer. I auditioned all through college and even afterwards but nothing. I was never good enough for them. I always lacked something." When Rachel spoke there was a deep sadness to her voice and Quinn wanted to take her in her arms until all her pain was gone. However Quinn kept her hands in her lap where they were safe.

"How can you say that?"

"Because it's the truth."

"Rachel I grew up here in New York, I've see countless musicals and I can say hand on heart you are more talented than they can ever hope to be." She could feel herself getting angry as she spoke, how could anyone ever tell Rachel that she wasn't good enough? She was perfect.

"That's sweet of you."

"That's honest of me. You shouldn't give up." Quinn said as she actually sought out Rachel's eyes, usually she did anything to avoid them. But she wanted to connect with those brown orbs and have her know that she meant everything she was telling Rachel.

"What about you?" Rachel shot back her eyes returning Quinn's intense gaze.

"What about me?"

"Why do you settle for the life you've got?" The words struck a chord too close to Quinn's heart and it was enough to turn her attention back to the keyboard.

_Why was talking about her past still so raw?_

"I'm not settling."

"Of course not. I just see that you were made for bigger things than this Quinn."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." The blonde began to aimlessly hit random keys trying to fill the void so that they wouldn't have to talk about this topic.

"Am I getting too close?" Quinn pretended that she couldn't hear the brunette; she knew it was the childish thing to do but she wouldn't let herself be ripped open for fear of what might come out. "I'm sorry; I guess I just don't understand."

"I wanted Julliard just like you did. But when the time came the passion I'd had wasn't there. The flame had gone out."

"I still see it." Rachel said quietly and Quinn had to stop herself from turning to face the beautiful girl. This was all getting too close for comfort. There were very few people who knew her past; it was so tightly locked away and it had taken so long to make it stay hidden that she didn't desire to release it again. It meant a lot to her that Rachel still saw something in her that she thought had died a long time ago. "Can I ask you something?" Rachel asked and Quinn could hear the girl's footsteps approach her.

"Course." She replied curiously while she continued playing another tune. Quinn just hoped that it wasn't anything to do with her past.

"Why did you lie to me that night when you left?" Her voice was quiet and yet the question seemed to echo around the four walls until it was ringing in Quinn's ears. Perhaps she would have preferred talking about her past.

"Rachel don't ask that." She didn't want to talk about this either, what good would come of talking about this? Friends most certainly did not talk about this kind of thing.

"I won't read into it I promise." The blonde stopped playing and considered just cutting this conversation off, put a stop to it before anymore could be said.

She sighed deeply, blowing the air our hard. "I meant it." She said eventually.

"What?" The surprise in Rachel's voice was evident and Quinn forced herself to turn around on the bench so she could look at the brunette, she deserved to see her face. To know that everything she was about to say was nothing but the truth.

"When I said it to you I meant it."

"You didn't even take my number how did you mean it?" The confusion was clear on the brunette's face, her brows were knotted her lips were pressed into a thin line. She doubted the blonde's words and Quinn couldn't blame her.

"I would have found you." Quinn had often thought of this, after her night with Rachel she hadn't been able to get the girl off her mind. Every second was burned into her memory. Even after her shower the next morning she could still feel the singers touch lingering on her skin. They had hardly talked and yet Rachel hadn't left her mind. Then without her knowledge fate had stepped in and brought their paths back on course.

"I thought you didn't do the same girl twice?" It was true, Quinn didn't like to do repeats but she'd never had a girl like Rachel before, so completely passionate in every aspect of her life.

"Doesn't the old saying go rules are made to be broken?"

"How would you have found me?"

"Well Kurt got me the gig so I would have asked him or gone back to the venue. I think I would have found you eventually. Don't forget I did find you that night you were performing at that birthday party." Quinn smiled and Rachel sucked her bottom lip between her teeth which seemed to be a ploy to stop herself from grinning.

"You'd found me before that." Rachel stated and Quinn looked away ashamed of herself. Because she had found Rachel or rather Rachel had found her, found her way under her skin. She'd had everything she never knew she always wanted being offered to her. But she'd turned her away. Like a fool. Like a scared pathetic fool. It was simply another mistake to add to the pile that Quinn already had, yet this one ached more deeply.

"I did and I didn't take the chance. You're with Brittany." Quinn said sadly as she looked at her hands in her lap.

"Yes I am...Quinn?" The sound of her name caused her to raise her eyes and she could feel the question sitting on the tip of Rachel's tongue.

"Rachel you said you wouldn't dig deeper into this." Rachel simply nodded her head, and Quinn thought she saw a flicker of sadness in those brown eyes that matched her own but she couldn't be sure. What if she was simply projecting her own feelings? But she had heard Rachel crying that night and heard the girl's confession about her feelings towards Quinn, yet she had also heard her tell Mercedes that she was going to focus on her future with Brittany. Had Rachel completely pushed her aside now? Was friendship really all she was after? Her head told said yes, but her heart told her to look more closely, to listen more intently. Rachel was feeling the same.

So for once Quinn decided to listen to her heart and to look more closely…what was the worst that could happen?

"You're right I did promise. I shouldn't have pushed you, I apologize." Rachel seemed to compose herself and brought her shoulders up and a show biz smile formed on her lips. But that's all it was for show. Rachel's smile was just as open as her eyes, it was either genuine or it wasn't. It was either beaming or dull. There was no in between with Rachel, which was one of the things Quinn liked the most about her. "You know any Funny Girl?" Rachel asked as she walked towards the stack of music books Quinn had put into a book case.

"Well I know a funny girl." Quinn joked and couldn't help but laugh at the lamest of it.

"Quick wit." The girl humored Quinn with her own small chuckle.

"I try. Try the yellow book on the top shelf that should have some in it, I know it has My Man in it." Quinn watched as Rachel reached up on her tip toes which caused her baby blue sweater to rise up exposing the girl's toned stomach. Quinn's mouth began to water that very instant.

"I love that song." Came the reply as she continued to reach up, her fingers just grazing the bottom of the book and she tried to nudge it towards her.

"I thought you might" Taking pity on her Quinn got up and placed herself behind Rachel, her front lightly pressing against Rachel's back and reached over the girl to grab the book. She knew she was over stepping the mark, maybe even pushing the girl, but she wanted to see what Rachel was feeling. She wanted to know if having Quinn close would make her nervous, if those tanned cheeks would flush at their close proximity. She needed to know.

"And why would you think that?" Rachel asked as she turned on the spot cornered between Quinn's body and the book case. The blonde thought that she was always backing the shorter girl into a corner, she was always pushing Rachel and whenever she seemed to have the girl right on the edge she would either retreat or the brunette would. What would happen the time neither of them backed down? Quinn wasn't sure she was ready for that although her heart seemed to sigh happily at the prospect.

"I remember you saying you use to watch the film with your dads." Big brown eyes looked into hazel; Quinn thought she saw a challenge behind them, asking the taller girl to make her move. Rachel went to take hold of the book that was pressed about the girl's chest, the last boundary between them. Instead of finding the songbook her hand rested upon the soft fingers of Quinn's. The sudden contacted startled them both and to Quinn's surprise it was her who backed away from the brunette.

She felt Rachel's eyes upon her once again as she went to take her seat at the keyboard. She looked over the keys to the brunette who was smiling. "What?" Quinn asked puzzled by the confused look on Rachel's face.

"You actually listened when I spoke."

"Only every now and then." She replied with a lopsided grin and her eyes traveled down to the brunette's delicate lips. Her thoughts journeyed to the night when she'd had those lips all over her body, sucking and nibbling every inch of Quinn's flesh. Her body let out a shiver. She hoped that Rachel didn't notice. Quickly Quinn looked away. The brunette began to look through the songs and Quinn took her chance to actually take the Rachel in. She had already noticed the girl's bare legs, they were all but impossible to ignore. The smooth shine to them naturally made Quinn want to reach out and touch them. Kiss a path from her ankle all the way up to her-

"Hey, let's sing this instead. You will sing with me." The word's surprised the girl and her eye's shot up to Rachel's face, the brunette smiled clearly having caught Quinn while leering at her. The amused expression on the singers face caused Quinn's face to flame.

Quickly she tried to cover and regain some of her fleeting composure. "I don't really sing Rachel."

"I don't remembering asking, I was rather informing you that you'll sing with me." Handing over the book she gave Quinn a charming smile and the blonde melted.

"Is this how this is going to work?"

"Of course. I'm sorry if at any point I led you to believe this friendship would be any other way than me pushing you into doing things that I want."

_Friendship_?

"Must have missed the memo." Quinn covered although the single word continued to echo in her head until it got louder and louder. She wasn't blind. She saw the way Rachel was looking at her, the way she flirted, the way she touched her.

It was in the little ways that Quinn would usually have ignored. How she looked around the space, gazing at the pictures of Quinn as if trying to memorize every section of the space. That wasn't all in her head, Quinn was sure of it.

"Well now you know. So start playing." Quinn chuckled and shook her head as Rachel took a seat next to Quinn, she bumped her hip against the blondes who moved over to give the girl more room.

The blonde looked at the music for the first time and felt her throat tighten. It was most definitely not in her head.

Taking a deep breath Quinn quickly took in the first notes and then her fingers connected with the keys playing the small introduction. Rachel looked over to her grinning widely, nodding to Quinn when it was time to come in. Quinn found it endearing that even in this private place Rachel was nothing short of professional. Her nerves began to pick up again; she didn't hold much faith in her voice even more so when she was once again singing with the talented brunette. She hoped Rachel's powerful voice would over power her.

"_I know I stand in line_

_Until you think you have the time_

_To spend an evening with me_

_And if we go someplace to dance_

_I know that there's a chance_

_You won't be leaving with me."_

This is what made Rachel different from some of the vulgar wannabe's, her voice didn't drown Quinn out in fact she sang in a way to compliment her. The brunette took the high part as she harmonized alongside her. Quinn could feel her heart begin to pound as they started onto the next verse. She was well aware of the final three words to it.

"_Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place_

_And have a drink or two_

_And then I go and spoil it all_

_By saying something stupid_

_Like I love you."_

More than anything she wanted to turn her head so that she could look at Rachel, look into those eyes and have her know that she meant those words. All thoughts of Brittany had left her mind and all that existed were herself and Rachel. As they continued to sing Quinn noted that the small space between them on the bench was becoming smaller and smaller and until they were skin to denim. Anguish rippled through Quinn's body like a current and she was glad for the cold weather and the fact she'd chosen jeans that morning. Luckily her fingers were currently busy and her eyes were fixated on the notes and words in front of her otherwise she knew her heart would take the reins.

"_The time is right_

_Your perfume fills my head_

_The stars get red_

_And oh the night's so blue_

_And then I go and spoil it all_

_By saying something stupid_

_Like I love you_

_I love you..."_

The silenced filled over them as they sang out the last part and the words hung in the air heavy around them. However the song highlighted what Quinn loved about music; lyrics or even a simple melody could convey what words alone could not. She suspected that this was also something that Rachel liked about music. Was that the reason she had chosen the song? To say the things that she could not? Was she as scared as Quinn was?

"Thank you." Rachel said after a moment, Quinn heard the girl's uneven breath. The song wasn't exactly strenuous so the brunette couldn't blame her breathing on that, so Quinn put one and one together hoping she hadn't come to the wrong conclusion. That the reason for her ragged panting was because of her.

"You're welcome although you did kinda bully me into singing with you." The blonde said although she still didn't dare to look at Rachel, her heart was pounding and the rushing of her blood resounded in her ears, so loudly that she thought Rachel was whispering when she spoke.

The piano player's stomach felt empty and her head was spinning with the thoughts. Slyly she eyed the girl out of the corner of her eye. Rachel was sitting straight backed her eyes fixed forward on the sheet music, her chest rising and falling heavily. Suddenly Rachel stood up and began walking towards the door, "I should probably go and see if Brittany is out of the bath." Rachel said with a half-smile that didn't quite make her eyes shine. Quinn hoisted herself up from her seat, for a moment she considered asking Rachel to stay here…with her, but she swallowed the words abruptly. "Thank you Quinn."

"I already said you were welcome."

"Not for that."

"For what?"

"For allowing me in here. Brittany told me you're very private about this place." Rachel eyed up the space again as though she wasn't going to be permitted access to it again.

"I am." Quinn agreed.

"Then why did you let me in?" Rachel enquired as she cocked her head to the side waiting for an answer.

Chewing on her bottom lip; Quinn slid her hands into the back pockets of jeans before shrugging. "I don't know. I didn't mind you being here. I liked it."

"Maybe I'll pop by again sometime." The brunette replied with a smirk and a sway of her hips. Was Rachel flirting? It was hard to tell with the brunette sometimes. At moments it would seem like they were both in the same place being tormented by their feelings, then in a heartbeat she was merely a friend. Quinn had always thought the brunette was easy to read, her eyes were the window inside of her but of late the glass had become smeared and now was she simply seeing her own refection?

"Maybe I'll let you." Without realizing it Quinn had taken a few paces and was now standing right in front of Rachel, a genuine smile plastered to her face.

"So I should…"

"Yeah probably…" But Rachel made no attempt to move her eyes were fixated on Quinn's, slowly they became a mess of brown and blonde, of porcelain and olive, of hazel and chocolate. Their feet were stuck to the spot and Quinn licked her lips as her eyes flicked to Rachel's mouth.

"Rach…"

"Yes…" The singer breathed out as Quinn took a tentative step closer and the blonde noticed how Rachel was holding her breath. They were both aware of what was going to happen, that it shouldn't but neither of them had the strength to stop it.

Rachel looked down clearly trying to hide her face and Quinn couldn't stand the lack of contact between them. Feeling the swell of desire and need inside she reached out her index finger and placed it under Rachel's chin tilting her face upwards before hesitating but only for a second. The look upon Rachel's face scared the blonde; she had never had anyone look at her in that way. She tried to find a word to describe it, devotion? Longing? Love? Quinn's problem was that even though she was almost 25 she wasn't extremely experienced when it came to emotions on a deeper level. Yet looking at Rachel in that moment she wanted the brunette to teach her everything she didn't know and more.

Then Rachel smiled and that twinge of fear that had been coursing through her vanished instantly. Feeling the courage replace it; Quinn took a deep breath as she leaned forward their eye's closed instinctively. Quinn hoped she remembered how to kiss, every thought seemed to be emptying from her mind and all that was left inside was Rachel.

Eventually their lips connected in a single long lingering kiss, Quinn's hand slid up and cupped Rachel's soft check. Pulling back just a few inches the blonde waited for Rachel to open her eyes, she needed confirmation that this was okay. After a beat brown eyes found her own and Rachel smiled before taking the leap; leaning up and capturing the taller girl's lips with her own. Thin toned arms wrapped around Quinn's neck pulling her closer; sighing into the kiss the piano player coiled her arms around Rachel's tiny waist. Their bodies flush against each other connected at every inch, from feet to lips. She was too scared to move her hands just in case she became over taken by the moment, rushed it and ruined what was happening about between them. She wanted to get lost in this and never come up for air.

She'd kissed Rachel almost constantly for one entire night and then again a few nights later but it hadn't been like this. Their previous encounters had been heat filled embraces this was different. This was about feelings that clearly neither could deny. What was being said between them? Was this a promise? Was this saying they were going to be together? Quinn didn't know and kissing Rachel at that moment she didn't care what anything meant.

Quinn took the next step and parted her lips slightly, leaning in towards Rachel, yielding to the soft strength of her kiss, that engulfed her, gaining in strength until she found herself wrapped up in Rachel; body, heart and soul. Her body felt light with giddiness at finally having Rachel's soft plump lips against her own as they moved instinctively against each other's.

Softly. Lovingly. They breathed their souls and their love into each other in that kiss. This kiss; that was becoming hard yet still soft; fiery but cool; a split second in time however it felt like was lasting forever. In that one kiss, Quinn knew what was behind that unmistakable voice and that blinding smile, and it made her love for the brunette grow even more.

Rachel's tongue ran across Quinn's bottom lip begging to be allowed inside and Quinn had slowly learnt that she couldn't deny Rachel anything that she wanted and granted the girl access. Their tongues met in the middle as they collided slowly exploring the others wet mouth. Quinn went to remove her tongue only to have Rachel suck it softly back into her mouth which caused a moan to ripple through her body. The sound caused Rachel to suck harder before releasing the girl's tongue and Quinn retaliated by gently biting Rachel's lip this time causing the brunette to groan and it vibrated through to Quinn's mouth.

The lack of air was becoming an issue and by the heaving of Rachel's chest against her own she knew the girl was having the same problem. She didn't want to stop, didn't want to ever be a single entity again. But with great strength she pulled back with Rachel's fingers threaded through her hair and her hands lingered on the skin of Rachel's back; her top had ridden up allowing the flesh on flesh contact. However this was the first time Quinn had noticed she was touching Rachel's exposed skin as she'd been so lost in their kiss. The brunette's skin was warm to the touch and Quinn's fingers slowly drew circles; she felt the goose bumps appear.

They looked into each other's eyes, Quinn was trying to understand what Rachel was feeling about what had just occurred and Rachel was probably trying to understand the same thing. Maybe it wasn't about words Quinn thought as they both began to lean forwards again. The blonde's heart was on cloud nine and she never wanted it to come down again because she had never felt like this before kissing someone. Every sound felt perfect, every touch made her tingle, every moment just made-

"Rach?"

-her core thud.

Brittney's voice boomed, it penetrated the small shack straight through to Quinn's heart. It felt like she had been doused with a bucket of cold water and the two women quickly jumped back away from each other. The guilt seemed to hit them both at the same time Quinn felt her throat grow tight and Rachel looked to the floor.

"I…"

"Yeah…" Quinn chocked out.

Rachel didn't wait to say anything else instead she lifted her head and looked at the blonde, her eyes filled with sadness, Quinn couldn't help but hope they weren't filled with regret. Then she turned on heels and left heading towards her girlfriend; Quinn's best friend. The blonde walked over and closed the door, placing her back against it as she brought her hands up to rub her face.

_What had she done?_

She'd kissed Brittany's girlfriend. She had betrayed her best friend, committed the ultimate crime, and broken the golden rule. Her eyes began to burn with tears and Quinn set her jaw telling herself she didn't deserve to cry. Because no matter how great the growing guilt got, she didn't think she regretted her actions. How could she regret something that felt so right, so perfect, like the curves of her body had been seamlessly designed to fit with Rachel's?

_How could she do that?_

She hadn't been able to help herself, all common sense and logic had just disappeared and she'd allowed her heart to take over. Quinn prided herself on being a person, who was in control of her emotions. She was composed and cool, but Rachel had been a game changer. She'd seen films and heard songs about love changing the very DNA of a person but she always thought it was a little over the top, never quite believable. Now here she was, compelled to Rachel like two magnets unable to pull back.

Leaning her head back until it hit the door Quinn felt the first tear run down her cheek. She knew it would only be the first of many so she made no attempt to fight against it or wipe it away. The guilt was beginning to consume her, its predatory teeth sharpened and ready to sink them into Quinn's aching heart, she didn't try to beat it back, she earned it all. She deserved worse.

But what was worse, the hungry teeth of guilt or the vice like clench of regret?

Quinn was certain that friends did not kiss like they had. It was not perfectly natural. But the truth was her and Rachel had never been friends and no matter how much they tried to force it they would never be friends. Because you can't be friends with someone you love, it was like trying to breath under water…you drown.

'What was the worst that could happen?' her own subconscious said to her and Quinn thought she could hear it laughing at her own naivety.

Quinn walked the streets of New York lost in her thoughts. That was one of the best things about the city in Quinn's eyes, the ability to get lost within the crowds like she was invisible. Nobody paid her grief stricken face a second look and that's the way she wanted it to be. To be anonymous. She had spent many nights during her senior year and College just wandering the streets, watching people going about their days. It was freeing to the blonde to just be a face in the crowd that no one knew nor cared about.

The streets were busy as people did some shopping before the stores shut for the night. Quinn passed the time by spotting the individuals who were from out of town and avoiding the couples who looked lovingly at each other. Trying anything to not allow her thoughts to dwell on a particular brunette. Her worn converse pounded the streets and after an hour of walking her soles were starting to ache.

The cold evening air whipped around her and she wrapped her green army coat tighter around herself keeping the cold out and tucked her chin and mouth into her scarf. Putting her hands deep in her pockets she continued on with her mindless walking. All she wanted to do was escape her home because all it did was haunt her about the previous day. Quinn couldn't even bring herself to go into her music room, she'd stood outside the door willing herself to go inside, she couldn't do it however. When her phone had rang with a call from Brittany, Quinn had grabbed her coat and left the house, leaving her cell on her bed. She didn't think that she was able to face the blonde yet. The guilt was still eating away at her, even though she couldn't quite bring herself to regret the kiss which only made Quinn feel guiltier.

She didn't think her stroll had a destination until her feet eventually stopped on the street opposite the cafe that Rachel was working at.

The day Rachel had come to her rescue she had told the brunette that she would stop by and she never had. They could pass it off as two friends having a coffee together but something about that just didn't ring true to Quinn. Because as she'd realized yesterday, they were not friends and no matter how much she tried to push it they never would be. But maybe that was why her feet had brought her to Rachel here and now, because finally she was able to admit that friendship wasn't what she was after.

She wanted Rachel, she wanted all of her, every inch of her. To be Rachel's and for Rachel to be hers. Quinn had spent the last few months ignoring her heart and she didn't know why because in her entire life it was the only thing that had never lied to her. Her heart had taken her to music, her heart had been drawn to Brittany and Kurt, why had she refused to listen to its pleas for Rachel? She knew the dangers of love first hand, she knew that loving someone gave them the power to pull you apart piece by piece but had Rachel ever given her the impression that she would do that? Quinn had been so focused on her fear and pain that she hadn't even given her heart a chance to speak up and be heard.

As she stood on the street she looked through the full windows and she could make out the brunette as she went from table to table either cleaning up or serving a customer. Quinn smiled and for the first time she gave her heart the stage and prepared herself to listen to what it had to say.

'_I didn't have a choice, if I had then I most certainly would not have fallen, or tripped, or stumbled or whatever it was that happened. But it wasn't a choice, I didn't get to pick. It was like a cloudy night and then the sky cleared to reveal the North Star which I have been trying to follow home. Turns out home is Rachel. I know you have sat in the middle of a war zone with all your different emotions screaming different things at you, and I know how damaged we are, how truly fragile we are. But I love her, you love her. This is love. This is what love feels like. You know better than most that tomorrow doesn't always come. So I'm asking you to please take this chance. For me but most of all for you because I know you think you don't but you deserve Rachel.'_

Quinn could feel the tickle of tears behind her eyes as she continued to watch the singer going about her shift. Her heart contracted tightly in her chest as if imploring Quinn to hear what it had just said. And Quinn had, she'd heard every single word as clear as day. A small smile tugged on the corner of Quinn's mouth. She knew what she was about to do was wrong, she knew that she should turn around and go home; she should fall to her knees in front of Brittany and confess everything. From how she'd had been falling in love with Rachel, how she'd kissed her. But Quinn knew that if she retreated now then she may very well ignore the heartfelt plea from her heart. Selfishly ignore it's wishes.

Rachel had changed her. And for a while she had seen it as a downfall. But in truth it wasn't. Rachel made her ashamed of the life she was living. It made Quinn want to use her education and do something meaningful with her life. Do something to make Rachel proud of her. Since she was 17 Quinn had trouble seeing through the cloud to her future; her friends had pretty much forced Julliard upon her, they'd set her up with her first clients. Without them Quinn thought she'd still be locked away in her childhood room hiding from the world. But now when Quinn thought of her future there was one image that shone through the fog; Rachel. And Quinn couldn't help but think that was a good place to start, she thought building her future around Rachel wouldn't be so bad.

They would push each other, challenge each other and love each other. Seemed like a perfect way to grow old.

Quinn didn't know what she was going to say, where she should start. Perhaps just come right out and say those three words that needed to be said. Or maybe just start with some big long speech that she could probably mess up as the words stumbled from her mouth.

Quinn took a step forward before she could come up with anything that could change her mind, her feet had brought her there for a reason and her heart had finally completely flooded out her head. A wide smile spread over her face about the prospect of what could happen. Of the kiss that might come. Of the words that Rachel would return.

As if by fate she saw Rachel walking out the building wrapping her scarf around her neck, she looked all snug in a big black coat that made Rachel look even smaller. Quinn's small smile grew even bigger at the sight and her head seemed to pick up its pace in excitement.

Rachel's face too light up, her smile big and her arm's out stretched but she wasn't looking towards Quinn, she was turned to her right. The blonde looked in that direction and saw Brittany running down the road towards her.

Quinn's heart didn't stop. It broke.

As she turned to walk in the opposite direction before either girl saw her, Quinn thought that she heard her heart apologize to her.

Audrey Hepburn's cockney accent floated through the family room and Quinn sighed at the familiar feeling that settled through her exhausted and aching body. The blanket wrapped around her was tucked under her chin as she watched My Fair Lady for the umpteenth time and she knew there were a thousand more viewings of this movie in her future. Quinn used to watch the film every year with her mother who would guilt both her daughters into watching it with her. Quinn would complain stating she wanted to practice; she had big dreams to achieve. She wanted to play classical music professionally, she wanted to be the next Alicia keys, she wanted to compose and she wanted to travel the world. She wanted everything. While her sister would state that she had plans with friends and couldn't possibly waste time watching a film she'd seen a hundred times. Yet they always ended up on either side of their mother. Quinn ultimately didn't mind, it was only a few hours and it made her mom happy.

Quinn told herself that she was watching the film to feel close to her mother, somehow closing the distance between them; what she was really doing was licking her wounds. Somehow trying to ease the pain that was coursing through her body, she sat blaming her heart for its foolish persistence, for putting them both in that situation. With a sigh she tried to focus back on My Fair lady.

Quinn now knew every word to the movie. She could have acted out the entire film all by herself, playing every character singlehandedly. The problem with knowing the movie so well was that she really didn't need to give it her full attention, and thoughts of the last two days washed over her. For the first time her heart and head had been on the same place; Quinn had been ready to walk across the street and confront the brunette. She would have held out her heart to Rachel if it had been hers to give away but the singer had stolen it long ago; not that Quinn wouldn't have given it to her willing. Now as she sat on the sofa she knew her head was biting its tongue from uttering the words; 'I told you so'.

The kiss was haunting her but Quinn didn't try and push it away, in fact it was Quinn who drew the image back over and over. She couldn't stop thinking of the softness of Rachel's full lips, the way their tongues had collided, dancing together ever so gently. It hadn't been an urgent over the top kiss, it had been slow, torturously so at moments but the passion had been behind every movement.

Hadn't she already considered the possibility that Rachel deserved something better? Someone better. Someone who could walk beside her rather than being with someone she had to lead along because they were scared and clueless on where to put their feet. She was sure that Rachel loved her; the kiss had told her so. But perhaps that kiss had meant the opposite for the brunette. Where to Quinn it had been an introduction, but maybe to Rachel it had been a goodbye. The idea rattled through Quinn's brain. Her heart sighed, and Quinn could feel it deflate within her chest like a balloon.

Everything hurt so much and Quinn sunk deeper into the sofa.

The front door clicked open and Quinn fumbled with the remote control trying to find the off button in her embarrassment. Only Kurt and Brittany were aware of her affiliation with the movie and she had no wish to share it.

Sitting there red faced she was greeted by both Brittany ad Rachel looking at her with confusion. "I wasn't watching porn." Quinn quickly said and then wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole. Rachel looked at her amused and Brittany clapped her hands.

"Oh what porn you watching?"

"Britt I said I wasn't watching porn." She repeated, her cheeks growing redder. Course she watched porn but she didn't want Rachel to know that and she certainly did not wish to discuss it in front of said brunette.

"But that's what I say when you catch me watching porn." The blonde answered defensively with a knotted brow.

Rachel stepped further into the room and looked at the screen and a bigger smile lit up her face. "You're watching My Fair Lady."

"I haven't heard that one before."

"The musical." Rachel clarified.

"There's a musical porn." Brittany said in excitement. Rachel opened her mouth to explain and Quinn just shook her head.

"Do you mind if we watch it with you. I love this movie." Moving closer to the sofa Rachel was stopped as Brittany grabbed her hand. "What is it?"

"I wanted to go to bed…for you know…sex." Quinn felt ill.

"We could watch this and then go."

"But I'm horny now. We haven't had sex in ages." The blonde whined and Quinn wished she could be anywhere else in the world. Why did an asteroid never hit when you wanted one?

The piano player cleared her throat before speaking. "You guys, I'm gonna try and watch this film."

"See Quinn wants to be alone. Let's go." Brittany said as she tugged on Rachel's arm leading her down the hallway. Quinn couldn't stop herself from looking over her shoulder only to have Rachel looking back at her. It ached. Her heart tore down the middle but she couldn't let it leak out. She wouldn't cry damn it. But it was too late the tears streamed down her face as she pressed play and listened to 'I could have danced all night'. She turned up the volume wondering if it would be too dramatic to puncture her own ear drums.

When Quinn woke up CSI was on her screen and someone was screaming running down the street. She frowned at the screen, trying to remember what she was doing on the couch. Looking to the clock she saw that it was almost midnight and thought about getting up and going to bed but she couldn't bring herself to move. If she walked to her room she would have to ultimately have to pass Brittany's room and she knew that inside that room her roommate was doing the things to Rachel that she wanted to do. She was probably making her call out, begging for more, begging for deeper, begging for harder.

"Fuck." She threw the blanket over head and bit her lip hard to stop herself from screaming.

The front door banged open and Quinn pulled the blanket down quickly to see who was entering her house. Not that she thought any intruder would have a key, so when she saw Finn and Kurt she wasn't surprised.

"Hi Quinn…Bye Quinn." Finn shouted as he bolted through the family room and down the hallway. Quinn whipped her head around to watch him flee. She cocked an eyebrow at Kurt.

"Toilet. I told him to go before we left but he said he was fine. He'll learn one day." The boy explained with an amused expression.

"He has a bladder like a ninety year old."

"And the sex drive of a 16 year old." Quinn chuckled as she was reminded of her conversation with Finn last month. "Oh yeah, did you clean out the ash tray because I don't think I've ever known you to do that?" He asked taking a seat beside the blonde.

"No." Came the clipped reply as she pretended to look towards the TV as a group of good looking people crowded into a lab staring at what they called vital evidence. No science techs were that attractive, surely.

"Well I haven't cleared it out in ages and neither has Britt. And the chances of Finn doing it are slim to none, I'm not even sure he knows where our washing machine is." He tuttered but Quinn could tell by his expression that it wasn't really annoyed, Finn could do no wrong and Quinn found it painfully sweet. "So if it isn't us and it isn't you, who keeps emptying it?"

"I don't know Kurt you wanna dust it for fingerprints?"

"No I was just curious." He told her defensively. She hadn't meant to snap at him but the images of Brittany and Rachel were pushing her over the edge. And unfortunately for him, Kurt was taking the brunt of it. She wished he would just go to his room so she could be alone with her foul mood.

"You know it killed the cat."

"Not a cat, so I think I'm safe."

She knew why the ash tray was empty but she didn't want to admit what the reason for the lack of ash and cigarette butts was so she played dumb. A trait that she was becoming better at.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing's up with me."

"Something is."

"Can you just leave it, there is nothing wrong."

"Fine, if you don't want to talk about it but don't lie to my face Quinn." She felt bad for her attitude but she couldn't bring the apology to leave her mouth. So instead she just tucked her legs up and continued to focus on the screen. "Are Britt and Rachel here? They weren't at the bar tonight?"

"They're here." Quinn said darting her eyes down the hallway to where the girls were.

"Oh that explains it then." The boy said with a knowing nod that Quinn ignored she didn't want this discussion. She couldn't do it.

"Leave it. Just…leave it."

Kurt shook his head and Quinn thought for one thankful minute that he was going to get the hint and leave it. But her heart sank when he turned in his seat to face her. "You are screwing up your life."

"Can you just stop?" She said as she began to get up but she felt his hand on her wrist stopping her from moving.

"No I will not. I see it, I see you drowning, but I can't do anything because you're refusing to admit there is anything wrong. Something like this doesn't come around twice and if you don't buck your ideas up you will end up alone." His words sent an arrow to Quinn's heart and she felt the poisoned tip pierce its target. "Us; your friends and Jamie can't be your happily ever after. I know you've been hurt, I saw it, I was there with you every step and you think everyone you love will leave you. What if she was the one who wouldn't?"

"Kurt…"

"Just something to think about Quinn." He said as he leaned over and kissed the top of the blonde's head and got up and walked away, leaving Quinn alone like she requested but now she wanted him to stay. She suddenly didn't want to be alone with herself and her thoughts of Rachel.

The lack of sound made Quinn startle awake from her dream. And she looked around the room that was suddenly in darkness until her eyes landed on a smaller figure at the end of the sofa. She frowned wondering who it was, thinking perhaps Kurt had ventured back out to comfort her. When her eyes adjusted she realized that it was Rachel and she instantly sat up, feeling exposed.

"I'm sorry did I wake you?" The brunette stood in front of her in only a pair of hot pink too short for her comfort shorts and a tight yellow top. She clearly wasn't wearing a bra. She tried to stop her mind from traveling to a less that clean place. Rachel had obviously just thrown anything on after having sex with Brittany.

Yep that would do it. The thought of Brittany touching her was the equivalent to a cold shower.

"No…well yes." Quinn chuckled lightly and Rachel smiled tenderly. It was moments like this in the stillness of her emotions that made her ache more for the tiny singer.

"I didn't mean to."

"It's okay…What time is it?"

"Erm..a little after three."

Quinn groaned as she stretched out her limbs. "I should probably get to bed." But she didn't make any effort to move and Rachel perched on the arm of the sofa.

"Quinn?"

"Rachel?"

They said at the same time and they laughed nervously at the same moment. Quinn had so much she wanted to say; Kurt's words rattled in her brain while the image of seeing Rachel and Brittany outside the café accompanied it. Everything was a whirlwind in her mind and nothing made sense and it rippled through her with an anguished cry.

"You go." The brunette said gesturing with her hand for Quinn to talk.

"Okay." Quinn began trying to work out what she was going to say, she hadn't planned on this conversation, she hadn't planned on anything since the moment she'd met Rachel all those months ago. "About the kiss." Why was this so hard for her, usually she found words easy, they flowed from her lips with simplicity; but looking into brown eyes she felt that all too familiar feeling of drowning. "It shouldn't have happened." The blonde said it quickly, like pulling off a band aid she'd hoped it would hurt less; it didn't.

Did Rachel look disappointed? Was that what was shining back at her? She wanted to ask, she wanted for Rachel just to tell her what she was feeling. Had that kiss felt the same for Rachel as it had for her? She had been sure it had, but were those eyes clarifying it? Quickly she pushed those thoughts away, notions like that would only make this hard. Were Rachel's eyes glossy?

"It was a mistake. I shouldn't- I- You're with Brittany and I should have respected that. I guess I just got swept up in a moment. It won't happen again, I-" She wanted to say she'd promise, but she found herself unable to make that pact aloud. Quinn knew her mouth was lying, saying untrue things to make this easier somehow. But it didn't feel right, every single word felt heavy in her mouth. "I won't do it again. It was…wasn't it, a mistake?"

Say no.

"Yes…I mean that's also what I came out here to say."

Quinn looked the other way quickly, wishing away the tears that were willing themselves into existence in her eyes. Was she lying? Were they both lying to save face? Or were her hopes just stringing her alone?

"You're right it shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have allowed it to happen." Rachel went on as though she was trying to fill the silence that was threatening to overcome them.

"It wasn't just you. Are you going to tell her?" Quinn asked still refusing to look at the brunette not trusting her tear ducts.

"Are you?"

"I don't want to hurt her."

"Neither do I."

"Then we can just pretend like it never happened."

"What happened?" Rachel replied curtly and Quinn felt the coolness of her words like a blast of ice.

Quinn felt the lump in her throat and tried to swallow it down. "Exactly." Was it really that easy for Rachel to brush under the carpet? That one kiss had brought Quinn's entire world to its knees and yet Rachel seemed to be standing just fine. Perhaps the kiss had been a mistake for Rachel. Perhaps that was all Quinn was, a mistake.

"I should probably get back." Rachel said as she stood abruptly and Quinn only nodded. "Not that it matters because it really doesn't but me and Brittany…we didn't…tonight when we left earlier we didn't." Seeing Rachel stutter over her words was always something Quinn enjoyed witnessing, it quelled some of the pain in her heart or was that due to fact Rachel and Britt hadn't had sex?

"Why are you telling me this?" Quinn asked biting her bottom lip in anticipation for the answer. She was giving her heart just enough rope to hang itself and cursed herself for it.

"I just- I should go to bed." The breath held within the blonde's lungs escaped as the brunette turned and walked away. Quinn closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto the sofa. "I pride myself on being honest, I hate lying." The sudden words surprised the piano player and she twisted round to look over towards Rachel who looked vulnerable and exposed. "And I wanted to compensate by giving you a truth for a lie."

She didn't wait for Quinn to respond and instead she disappeared down the hallway. To be honest Quinn wasn't sure if she could have replied if she'd wanted to.

Had Rachel just said…that it_ wasn't_ a mistake?

The small smile that began to play across her lips felt wrong, like it was a betrayal but she couldn't stop it.

That's the problem with life, you always hope that you're going to take the right path, the noble and the one less travelled to prove to yourself you deserve your destination. But Quinn had found many of her roads blocked off by fallen debris and she'd had to carve out her own paths where she could follow no one else's steps. This may very well never have been the direction she was meant to head down, or perhaps this was her fate all along. She didn't know but there was no map, no sign post to lead her home. Although she had her friends and her family they couldn't help her. If she squinted hard enough she thought there might be a light at the end of her road…and she thought that maybe that light was Rachel.

Quinn pulled open the fridge reaching in for a bottle of beer; it had been an average day that had consisted of a few lessons and lunch with Kurt. And since she was going out to Bar Nunn later that night she thought she'd get a jump start on the drinking. Also Quinn thought that if she'd had something to drink it would quell the nervous tingling in her stomach. She knew the tingling had a name, she knew where it originated from; Rachel. They had seen each other a few times over the last week, but they hadn't been alone together which Quinn was thankful for. She was scared of what her mouth might say.

"Hey." The voice surprised the blonde and spun around almost dropping the bottle but caught it with her other hand. "Good catch." There was that smile, Quinn almost swooned before she managed to stop herself.

"Thanks. Do you want one?" Quinn offered as she leaned back against the work top.

"No, I'm alright, I'm driving tonight." The blonde took a sip and an awkward silence fell over them. Their silences were usually nothing short of comfortable and the new tone made Quinn uneasy. "I didn't break in by the way." Rachel went on as she held some keys up, shaking them. "Brittany told me to wait for her here."

"Well we probably wouldn't be the best house to steal from, seeing as we know you."

"Perhaps that's my approach; lead you into a false sense of security before I strike."

"What's you're villainous name? The night stalker?" Quinn laughed before Rachel joined in nodding her head.

"I like the sound of that. When I start my thieving spree make sure that the name reaches the press."

"I'm on it."

Quinn took a moment to take Rachel in. She was in a pleated skirt with a flat pair of pumps and a plain white t-shirt and a cardigan. She looked innocent and yet ever so tempting. Rachel Berry was a ball of contradictions and Quinn wouldn't have changed any of it.

That's when it happened, when looking at sweet lovely Rachel, the worst possible thing happened. When it felt as if the silence was going to consume them Quinn took a deep breath and before she could stop herself the very thing she wanted to keep inside found its way out.

"The initials on my wrist. The J is for Judy. The R is for Russell and the F is for Francesca. Judy and Russell are my parents and Francesca's my sister….They died in a car crash when I was 17 that's how I got the scar on my head. I was in the car with them when…when it happened." Word Vomit. She had imagined many times how she would confess all to Rachel, how she'd slowly open up her soul to the girl. In none of her scenarios had she blurted it out to the brunette in her kitchen.

Even talking about it after all these years; her heart still broke at the image of all the paramedics surrounding them. The shouts, the sirens and then the silence. Her body throbbed with the memory of it, she still felt remorseful every day that she was the one to survive.

"I'm sorry." Rachel said after a few moments and Quinn knew that Rachel meant it. It wasn't said with pity it was a heartfelt apology that brought tears to the corner of Quinn's eyes, subtly she wiped them away.

"I just wanted you to know me." Setting the bottle down Quinn shook her head, wishing now that she possessed an emergency button for her mouth to stop words flowing out freely.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing...I meant nothing." Quinn replied with a defeated sigh as she turned around to look out the window to the garden. She thought back to barbeques, the late night conversations on the deck, the water fights all of them pre-Rachel. She heard Rachel's footsteps come closer to her.

"Stop this. Stop pretending there is nothing going on between us. You want me to know you and I want to know you so much. You've been through a lot, I've seen it in your eyes since the first time we met; let me be there for you." Quinn turned around and instantly wished she hadn't. The brunette was standing directly in front of her. They were close, too close. They had kissed the last time they'd been this close and she felt her chest grow tight. "I know you didn't mean it when you said that kiss meant nothing. It wasn't a mistake Quinn so don't try and tell me again that it was. I tried to be your friend but it's impossible. We were not made to be friends."

Quinn's heart began to beat rapidly in her chest; if she wasn't sure the cause of it was Rachel she would have assumed she was having a heart attack. It was everything she wanted to hear and she wanted to curl her body into Rachel's and have those familiar arms wrapped around her.

"She's my best friend Rachel." Just like that any thoughts of seeking comfort in the singer vanished, because she could never have Brittany look at her with disappointment. Although she'd already disappointed her friend without her knowing.

"I know that. And I care about her too. But she's a good person she will understand. You can't keep using that as an excuse to keep me at arm's length." Her hands that were hanging limply by her sides were taken by Rachel's and she felt the warmth run through her body.

"Rach…I can't do this. I can't do that to Britt."

"You and I could be magical if you gave us a chance. Do you think I don't see the way you look at me? The way you watch me when I'm on stage. That isn't nothing."

"You're with Brittany."

"You said it yourself, she loves Santana." Her voice was pleading and it cracked away at Quinn's core.

"But she cares for you."

"I'm the stand in Quinn." Rachel said firmly, the blonde could see the frustration oozing off the singer. "I'm not the happily ever after." The sentenced reminded her of Kurt's words only a week before.

"That's not true."

"Of course it is. And I've been okay with that. Because we both needed something, someone to take away the hurt. I adore her, her vibrancy for life, her complete and utter optimism."

"She's one of a kind." Quinn muttered in agreement.

"We're one of a kind Quinn. Us together. I'm ready to admit it, to stop hiding what I'm feeling. So it's your turn to stop lying to me and stop lying to yourself because it's extremely tiring. I lied when I said that kiss was a mistake. It wasn't a mistake. It was everything. I know you felt it too. I know you did. Because against what you think, I know you."

"You know nothing about me, not really Rachel you said that yourself last month."

"So I don't really know your past but I know music is the beat to your heart. I know you haven't smoked a cigarette since the day I told you I hated it. And I know that one day you will show this world what you're made of. Yes I want to know more, I want to know everything about you. But I'm patient. "

"Stop." Quinn called out, wishing that she wasn't trapped between Rachel and the work top. She didn't know where to look. Her eyes fell upon their hands and the way they fingers locked together, the contrast in the skin seemed like a perfect match. Quickly she looked up, which was an error as she locked onto brown orbs.

"Why? Because it's easier for you?" Her words weren't malicious, they were soft and it hurt more.

"Yes."

"You're not a person who takes the easy way."

"That's where you're wrong."

"No actually I'm not. Because you've lost more than most people and you're still standing. You don't give up."

Quinn opened her mouth to say she was weak, if she was stronger then she would have been able to fight her feelings for Rachel.

The door opening caused both girls' to jump but not move apart. The sound of Brittany's cheery voice rang out and Rachel's face looked slightly panicked as she turned back to the blonde. "Okay look me in the eye right now and tell me you don't love me. Then I'll leave it. I'll never mention it again." She whispered hurriedly into the blonde's ear and the blonde stiffened in fear. Quinn knew what she had to do and she repeated her needed words over in her head, pressing her lips together she prepared herself _'I don't love you'_ and then hazel met brown again_. _With that the sentence died upon her lips. Quinn's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water and no metaphor could have suited the situation better. She was unprotected and defenseless. "You can't say it." Rachel finished as she leaned in again and Quinn had to fight a shiver when she felt the brunette's hot breath on her neck.

"Rach? You here?"

"Yeah in here."

The brunette cast one fleeting look to Quinn before she turned on her heels and went to greet her girlfriend. Seeing the exchange closely, she noticed something, or rather the lack of something; but she didn't quite understand what it was. The loose hug ended and Brittany looked to her friend.

"You coming to Nunn tonight?" Britt asked and Quinn shrugged in response. She had planned to but now she wasn't too sure it was the best idea. "Please." The blonde was looking at her intensely. Those pale blue orbs were begging.

"I'll try."

"Thanks." The dancer sighed as she walked towards the hallway disappearing. Rachel chewed her bottom lip as she watched the girl go. Briefly she looked over her shoulder before walking to where her girlfriend had just departed.

She was being offered everything she wanted but could she take it at the expense of her best friend? Out of thin air the singer had planted herself in Quinn's heart and mind and she was helpless. Was Rachel right? Would Brittany understand? Quinn knew that she would give anything to her friends, would do anything for their happiness. But if the roles were reversed could she give Rachel to Brittany?

She'd done it once...she wasn't sure if with her perspective she could do that again.

Quinn waved to Mike as she walked into the bar and he grinned happily back at her. Bar Nunn was rammed with patrons once again no doubt because it was a night Rachel and the band were performing, who at that moment were playing on the stage. She'd been on the fence about whether or not to attend after her encounter earlier with Rachel but after several message from Brittany pleading for her presence Quinn had relented.

There had been something about the dancer's pleading that evening that struck a chord with Quinn and she couldn't say no. She didn't know what was going on with Brittany but she could see sadness in those eyes that chilled Quinn to her bones.

She could already hear, Rachel's voice echoing through the room as she sang to the packed out room. Stopping Quinn watched her for a moment, noticing how nothing was different about her and yet it was all wrong. She was lacking that passion, that fire in her stomach that set every single syllable on ablaze. Everything was falling apart.

As she went towards the bar she saw Santana walking towards the exit and Quinn touched her arm to get her attention. The Latina smiled; a genuinely happy smile and it caused Quinn to frown. The girl's injuries were healing well, although she knew the girl's ribs were still far from restored to their regular condition. Injuries aside Santana looked happy…almost giddy.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, got stuff to do chica."

"Stay and have a drink with me at least."

"I can't. I've got meetings in the morning." Quinn's frown deepened.

"Is it repercussions from the fight?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"That's what I said. I just stopped by to see Britt."

"Are you seriously not going to tell me what's going on?"

"All will become clear grasshopper. Here, buy ya self and B a drink, she's sitting there all alone." Santana said as she handed over a bill and nodded her head towards where the blonde was sitting all alone staring at the stage.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Kurt and Finn are in the office."

"Jesus do they ever come up for air."

"Jealous."

"Completely." Quinn laughed, but it was forced, it hurt to trying to pretend to be happy. She wished that Santana would confide in her just so she wouldn't have to focus on her own mess of a life. "And Puck is standing by the edge of the stage with a bottle of water and a towel for his bit of rough."

The image of Puck being whipped by Mercedes made an earnest grin appear of Quinn's face. She'd heard the couple were dating and she was happy for them. She was happy for Puck, sure he could be sexist and a complete pervert but his heart was always in the right place. Quinn hoped the drummer treated him right otherwise there would be a smack down before the blonde ran away quickly just in case Mercedes swung back.

"So I can't tempt you to stay?"

"Not tonight. I promise next time we meet, I'll explain everything."

"You better."

"Okay have a good night and don't spend the entire time eye sexing the midget." With a rushed peck to Quinn's cheek the girl left and she stood there more confused than ever.

After getting the drinks, Quinn went over to the table and handed a drink to Brittany who gave her a half smile as a thank you. The dancer's eyes were fixated on the singer on the stage and Quinn found herself staring as well.

"She's beautiful." Brittany spoke quietly.

"She is. You're a beautiful couple." She eyed her friend out of the corner of eye. She wondered what had brought on this mood. Did she suspect?

"Do you really think that?"

"Yes."

"Do you think we're right for each other? Like I'm the ying to her yang."

"I do." Quinn lied and the words snapped Brittany's eyes up to look at her. It was then that Quinn saw the tears that lined her blue eyes, it seemed no matter how often she tried to blink them away they stayed there un-falling.

"Something's wrong." The blonde said after a beat and Quinn's heart stopped in fear. "I don't know what it is. It's like it's on the tip of my tongue but I can't figure it out."

"With Rachel?"

"And Santana."

"Oh."

"I feel everything all at once and I am so confused Quinn." The piano player frowned at her friend and chewed on her bottom lip. "I'm just hurting. And I don't know if it's my fault or not."

"I don't really know what you're saying?" She watched as Brittany stared up at the stage again as the song came to a stop and a quiet began to lull over the bar.

"Hey y'all. I just wanted to take this moment to thank you all for your continued support." It was Mercedes who was speaking again. As much as Quinn liked the drummer she missed when it was Rachel who would address the crowd. "Since our beautiful and talented lead singer's last song went down so well, you're in for another treat. This is called 'Get it Right' and is a Rachel Berry original. Show some love!"

The small singer walked back to her mark in front of the microphone stand, she looked nervous as she rubbed her hands on the top of her thighs. Quinn could see her chest falling heavily before blowing out a huff of air. Without realising it Quinn had scooted to the edge of her seat. Looking to her left she saw the dancer had her head held lower, reaching out she placed her hand over Brittany's.

"_What have I done?_

_I wish I could run,_

_Away from this ship going under_

_Just trying to help_

_Hurt everyone else_

_Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders."_

When Quinn had walked in earlier and see Rachel performing she'd found it breathtaking as always but it seemed half hearted, the girl seemed extremely reserved. Now with this song it was like her desire had grabbed a hold of her, she wasn't just singing the words she was making everyone in the bar feel it. It was a gift, Quinn could see that. The ability to bring an entire room to a standstill, every person was completely captivated by her.

The song was beautiful. Quinn added it to the list of things that Rachel was accomplished at.

"_What can you do when your good isn't good enough?_

_And all that you touch tumbles down?_

_Cause my best intentions_

_Keep making a mess of things,_

_I just wanna fix it somehow_

_But how many times will it take?_

_Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?"_

She felt Brittany's hand squeeze around her own. With a sad smile Quinn stood up and reached out her hand to the blonde.

"Dance with me." More tears began to fill Brittany's eyes and yet magically they did not fall. Quinn was thankful for this, she wasn't sure that her heart could take it. The dancer stood up and accepted the outstretched digits before being led to the dance floor.

When they made it to an empty space, Brittany slipped her right arm around Quinn's waist and the piano player rested hers around Britt's neck; their other hands clasped together. Gradually their bodies swayed to the music, slowly their bodies managed to get closer and Brittany placed her head on Quinn's shoulder. All the while Quinn's eyes were fixed on Rachel and those brown orbs were fixed on her. The nature of the song was obvious and it made the blonde feel even more torn.

"_Can I start again, with my faith shaken?_

_Cause I can't go back and undo this_

_I just have to stay and face my mistakes,_

_But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this."_

Quinn felt hot, feverish almost. Guilt had never been an issue for her because she rarely had anything to feel guilty about. But at that moment as she held Brittany in her arms watching Rachel over the blondes shoulder; she knew there would never be any punishment worse than the nawing in the pit of her stomach. The disappointment that ran through her was crippling. And she should feel guilty. She should feel horrified by her completely selfish actions that could cut her best friend in half.

"_What can you do when your good isn't good enough?_

_And all that you touch tumbles down?_

_Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,_

_I just wanna fix it somehow_

_But how many times will it take?_

_Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?"_

As Brittany rested her head on Quinn's shoulder, she felt the dampness coming from the dancer's eye on the crook of her neck; the image of Rachel's mouth on her own played again and again. The memory mocked her and Quinn held Britt closer, they held each other for different reasons but it didn't matter what those reasons were. Not at that moment. It could all matter again when the songs final note played out and reality came crashing down.

"_So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,_

_And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair!_

_Yeah, I'll send out a wish, yeah, I'll send up a prayer_

_And finally someone will see how much I care."_

"I love you, you know that right." Brittany mumbled and Quinn felt her bottom lip start to tremble at her friends words.

"I know…I love you too." Her reply was stuttered and uneven as she tried to hold back her own tears.

Rachel belted out a note and it rattled all the way through Quinn. Would any of them ever get it right?

"_What can you do when your good isn't good enough?_

_And all that you touch tumbles down?_

_Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,_

_I just wanna fix it somehow_

_But how many times will it take?_

_Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?_

_To get it right?"_

******Because lets face it 'Get it Right' was always and will always be a faberry song. ******_  
_


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